Page 17 | Whole families going food shopping

Shiningstarr · 2022-09-18T14:01:54+00:00

Just came back from food shopping, there were a couple of young families in there, one in particular, the mum was pushing the trolley, her two young children walking near her and the dad was following with a pram and carrying another toddler. Surely it would be easier for just mum to go and do the food shop, or just dad? Why bring all those children plus pram? I can't think of anything worse. Both mum and dad looked stressed.

throwaway201809 · 19/09/2022 19:02

I'll get flamed for this but... The "nicer" the supermarket the less of this you see.

I've never understood it. Single parents? Makes sense. When you see two parents? I don't get why you'd put yourself or your kids through it

Mangledrake · 19/09/2022 19:03

VioletInsolence · 19/09/2022 18:32

That may have been me😆

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Nah - would have been Harry and Meghan

Ilikepinacoladass · 19/09/2022 19:03

@UndertheCedartree
Do you mean because of genuine disability? That's obviously understable.

I guess some people don't mind wandering round supermarkets as a leisure activity but for me it's purely a chore..

@gummybearbaby
It's not really teamwork for 2 people to be doing something that could easily (in most cases) be done by 1 person. Teamwork IMO would be one person getting something else done while the other does the shopping.. but again, if some people like doing it that way is obviously their choice !

Inexpertjuggler · 19/09/2022 19:04

I’m baffled by this also- it seems they all go at a snails pace and discuss every item in the store. I can’t understand making work for yourself like this, when one parent can go and do the same job in a third of the time. They must spend a fortune too, as I overhear ‘ what do you fancy?’ Said to every family member, as all 6 of them gaze at the shelves . Madness.

user1472151176 · 19/09/2022 19:06

Maybe one of the parents has a blue light discount card.
Maybe the mum appreciates the help from her family.
Maybe they're on their way home from somewhere else.
Maybe its a good excuse to get everyone out the house and make family decisions on meal choices.
Maybe one of the parents has a hidden disability and needs help and there isn't any childcare provision so the kids have to go.
Maybe families do it because it's their only choice and are sick of the judgement!

Unmarriedhousewife · 19/09/2022 19:06

Well my 2 boys love coming food shopping and I think it's a good life skill to learn. I don't drive so husband comes too, it's much quicker with both adults as he goes off and gets bits whilst I go a bit slower with the boys. Yes we mostly online shop but our kids don't really learn anything from that.

aSofaNearYou · 19/09/2022 19:07

Ilikepinacoladass · 19/09/2022 19:03

@UndertheCedartree
Do you mean because of genuine disability? That's obviously understable.

I guess some people don't mind wandering round supermarkets as a leisure activity but for me it's purely a chore..

@gummybearbaby
It's not really teamwork for 2 people to be doing something that could easily (in most cases) be done by 1 person. Teamwork IMO would be one person getting something else done while the other does the shopping.. but again, if some people like doing it that way is obviously their choice !

Exactly - and chores are good things for kids to participate in.

In terms of the "one person could easily do it" thing - personally I do find it easier with two, especially at the checkouts. Otherwise I'm loading all the shopping onto the belt at breakneck speed to try to get to the other side to start packing the bags while people wait for me. Yes it's a minor thing, but I do find it's the kind of chore that benefits from two people.

Kazzzzzzzzzzz · 19/09/2022 19:09

I always shopped alone but then some people I know always go with their partner/ kids. Perhaps the partner is the only one who can pay for the shopping or the woman is so weak she can't choose anything without her partner's approval...who knows 😏

sue20 · 19/09/2022 19:10

SpinningFloppa · 18/09/2022 15:10

Maybe they was already out and then going home and stopped along the way? I am a single mum so all my kids have to come shopping with me.

OP specifies that both parents there. Obviously a single parent often has no option with small children.

Mangledrake · 19/09/2022 19:11

UrslaB · 19/09/2022 18:55

The whole family could have been on a day out and were stopping off to shop on the way home.

Alternatively, it could be the same reason my family used to all shop together. We were a family of varied tatses, strong opinions and a very tight budget. Everyone went shopping in order to have all voices present for compromise when buying things. Also to teach the kids how much things cost. I remember shopping with my brothers and parents. It was used as a live exercise in showing us how much things cost. We want cereal? How much does it cost? How much is in box? How much is that per serving? Will my brothers eat it too? Can we compromise on the brand, the type? Are there better offers available? We want a treat, then we have to figure out what we will cut from our essentials in order to afford it. We had to shop on a strict budget and having us present was a way for mum and dad to have us aware of the cost of things, why we ate what we did and why there wasn't different treats or different options for dinner if we later complained we didn't like something or didn't want it. As we got older and this became a very common outing the debates and trips got shorter as me and my siblings became runners to go and get things across the store. We knew where things were, how to check dates, weigh offers, brands and how to budget. I learned how to pick fresh produce properly, what to look out for and what to avoid. I learned how to judge offers and prices. I know it can be stressful for whole families to go shopping but there are real benefits for kids and later when they are a bit trained up it can expediate the shopping experience too with kids acting as runners.

To be frank, I used to find it more odd to see mothers or fathers shopping alone. I still have to shrug off my personal bias that I assume mothers and fathers who shop alone are more well off because they don't have to bring their kids to face the realities of a budget and buying a rigid list to suit a strict meal plan each week. Now I'm an adult I finally grasp that it is convenience, less stressful, to prevent kids whining for things they maybe can't afford and to maybe shield them from the realities of how tight things may be financially. Perspectives change as we get older and have the experience ourselves. I still look back fondly on grocery shopping with my parents as a kid but recognize now that while valuable experience for us kids, it was stressful for them.

We did this kind of thing - fond
memories of acting as runners as we got older. (Walking briskly and decorously of course, for anyone finding it hard to cope with this topic).

Actually I can remember my parents bringing any friends / neighbours' kids who were out and about with us more than once. They liked our company and we behaved reasonably well. Not George and Charlotte at a funeral levels of politesse, but by the time we were too old to sit in the trolley we knew how to behave in public.

Throwawaytoday · 19/09/2022 19:11

DH, DD and I go the supermarket together.

We like it.

It's not a money thing.

It's not seen as a day out (unless we go to the HUGE supermarket with travellators 😉).

We just like spending time together and see what's new in the aisles. We don't take up too much space, we don't idle about...

Imissmoominmama · 19/09/2022 19:11

I used to go shopping with my parents…

carefullycourageous · 19/09/2022 19:13

We sometimes like to all go together, we just find wandering about together relaxing and we all get to choose then. Other times just one of us goes because there is not much time.

Also sometimes people look stressed because of something not to do with the shopping.

sue20 · 19/09/2022 19:14

Inexpertjuggler · 19/09/2022 19:04

I’m baffled by this also- it seems they all go at a snails pace and discuss every item in the store. I can’t understand making work for yourself like this, when one parent can go and do the same job in a third of the time. They must spend a fortune too, as I overhear ‘ what do you fancy?’ Said to every family member, as all 6 of them gaze at the shelves . Madness.

The worse thing is the pace they go at and you have to manoeuvre around them I’ve decided it’s down to Co dependency and maybe one parent controlling the other.

Twos0ups · 19/09/2022 19:14

Never see this in Waitrose.😂 Always in asda though, and sometimes in Aldi.

Think it’s a day out for them! Was in Costco yesterday. Wow, some of the sights in there.
Three generations in some cases.

sue20 · 19/09/2022 19:15

Jamie89 · 18/09/2022 21:00

I think it's funny to see people saying "why don't they do an online shop?" .... Why don't the people who clearly don't like normal societal activities do one instead? It's the same people who moan about pensioners going to the shop at lunchtime "My time is so much more important and I need to get back to work". Well, actually it's not. Families have a hard enough time without being responsible for everyone else's experience. I have witnessed thousands of families shopping in my time and the vast majority are just living their life and trying their best.

This post doesn’t make sense sorry.

monotonousmum · 19/09/2022 19:17

I usually do the shopping alone (or with one or both of the kids if I have to). My OH doesn't drive, but he does sometimes like to come food shopping. That means bringing the kids.

I actually hate it when he does this, as he adds nothing constructive to the food shop and just doubles the cost by adding junk to the trolley. And it's stressful with the kids.

I always ask it there's anything he wants when I'm shopping, but he's a visual person and has to see things to know how wants them. Bloody annoying.

Hagpie · 19/09/2022 19:18

After 2020 we had to get our little one used to being around people again and oh my God I fireman carried her out of many shops. Anyway, we’ve only done online shopping for the last couple of months but we genuinely like taking the kids out shopping because they get so proud of themselves when helping. In fact, my oldest’s speech was incredibly advanced for her age because I would take her everywhere and describe the world around us. 99% of you are normal and are saying valid things about how it is easier without the kids going but some of you make me wonder if you even like your kids??

Namechangetime89 · 19/09/2022 19:19

I love taking my two (3 and 1) to the shops! Bonus if my husband wants to come too but they love it! Our local m&s has just got the mini trolleys and my 3 year old bloody loves it! We get a coffee/ juice in the cafe too and make a little morning of it.

Bikeybikeface · 19/09/2022 19:20

Oh I’m with you OP, if there’s a choice I’ll definitely leave my two at home with dad. Shopping Is a chore, it’s crap without whinging children. It’s also cheaper going solo.

UrslaB · 19/09/2022 19:20

Shiningstarr · 18/09/2022 15:41

I thought this too! I don't want tomatoes someone else has been sniffing 🤢

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This is the reply I find the most problematic. The idea that you don't know how to discern fresh produce of quality from any old crap thrown in a prepackaged tray or in a home delivery is a little worrying. (Maybe you didn't go shopping as a family as a kid and didn't get taught the correct way to pick produce). You have to feel a tomato to discern its ripeness, has it got bumps indicating hardening and uneven ripening? Turn it over to check for damage to skin and even ripening. Finally, always smell the top of a tomato near where the stem is. If there is no scent then it will have no taste. Tomatoes should have a strong, almost sweet scent, like fresh ground after rain if it is of good quality. The stronger the smell, the better the taste. Supermarkets and suppliers often throw any old rubbish in prepacked because you can't tell its dodgy until you get it home and open it. Would never buy a tomato, melon, or basically any fruit and a lot of veg unless I can lay hands on it.

Learning to use your nose to smell produce, how to feel fruit, veg and a loaf, how to tell good meat from colour and feel is something I would consider a basic necessity for any adult who will be buying food. People who don't feel their produce or take a sniff must not care very much about getting good quality...or maybe just have lots of money to piss away on buying any old thing.

The snobbery of your reply at being upset at someone sniffing fresh produce reeks of entitlement and ignorance.

Afterall, do you not wash you produce when you get it home? If you think someone's nose next to a piece of produce is the worst thing to come near it or even touch it before it makes it to your home then I despair at your naivety.

Forgotthebins · 19/09/2022 19:22

I make my kids come shopping sometimes, they learn how much stuff costs, generally helps them make sense of one part of their world, that mum doesn’t just magic up the food and so on. Never noticed anyone hating on us for being out as a family, but don’t actually care if people look down on us for shopping as a family, can’t please everyone!

sue20 · 19/09/2022 19:22

Wouldloveanother · 18/09/2022 21:59

I haven’t seen a single family quizzing the kids on which is the cheaper item, or encouraging them to add up as they go along. It’s just throw it all in the trolley and beep the debit card at the end. Let’s not kid ourselves it’s mainly being done as an educational activity…

YANBU OP, it’s really irritating. I can understand the odd time you have to do it for logistical reasons, but I honestly think a lot of families see it as a ‘trip out’.

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Also this is “off point”. The post is questioning WHOLE families going shopping ie BOTH parents with kids. Not a parent shopping with their kid it’s obvious why that would happen regardless of the educational exercise ( never witnessed by me btw)

whynotwhatknot · 19/09/2022 19:23

im with you op i dont get it and theyb always look like theyre go9ing to kill their kids

i started online shopping because of annoying families and have never gone back

justlonelystars · 19/09/2022 19:23

My DS loves going to sainsburys. We normally go just us during the week but sometimes at the weekend DH comes along too, particularly if we’ve been somewhere else before/after.