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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Whole families going food shopping

746 replies

Shiningstarr · 18/09/2022 15:01

Just came back from food shopping, there were a couple of young families in there, one in particular, the mum was pushing the trolley, her two young children walking near her and the dad was following with a pram and carrying another toddler.

Surely it would be easier for just mum to go and do the food shop, or just dad? Why bring all those children plus pram? I can't think of anything worse. Both mum and dad looked stressed.

OP posts:
ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 19/09/2022 18:31

Some right old misery guts on here.

VioletInsolence · 19/09/2022 18:32

AYearOfCushions · 19/09/2022 14:42

I saw a couple yesterday walking around a very stressful and packed Aldi store HOLDING HANDS!!!

That's worse than a family.

That may have been me😆

WildfellAnne · 19/09/2022 18:32

We would go together often -because it was much quicker, and far easier to have two adults to carry the shopping home.

1974devon · 19/09/2022 18:32

Yanbu I have NEVER understood this...I am sole parent and try and food shop online or when ds is at school and i have day off. If take him it's far.more expensive as a second point. Whole families take up full space of an aisle.. why?!? Totally with you OP

user1583920194858592910103848559201 · 19/09/2022 18:33

Maybe only one drives but needs help with the shopping too? Maybe it's a single parent with a friend to help? Maybe they can't afford the delivery fee to get the shopping delivered. Maybe it's a fun thing to do with the kids because it's low cost and it's free to take them around the shops.

Maybe, you need to mind your own buisness.

UndertheCedartree · 19/09/2022 18:34

Ilikepinacoladass · 19/09/2022 17:29

Yes taking kids to the shop every now and again is good for learning, but just can't imagine doing a weekly family shop.. of course it doesn't need to be a one person activity, but I just don't have any idea why you would turn it into a group activity when one person can easily do it themselves.

But not everyone can do it by themselves!

Heatherjayne1972 · 19/09/2022 18:34

No not for me !
my teenage kids have a habit of putting things in the trolley when I’m not looking and I end up spending more
besides when they were little ( and I was married then) I’d go alone for some alone time

Newbie20 · 19/09/2022 18:35

My husband and I tend to shop together if we are both off work at the same time as I have underlying health issues and need the support sometimes when shopping but you wouldn't know that if you looked at me. If we do end up shopping together then the children come if it's a weekend and the toddler comes if it's a school day. Yes it can be stressful with the children in tow but if we don't go together chances are we would be going hungry. Perhaps this is a similar case but sadly looking in from outside you will not get the full picture just a small snippet.

AIMummy · 19/09/2022 18:36

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 19/09/2022 18:31

Some right old misery guts on here.

Proper.

megletthesecond · 19/09/2022 18:39

Because controlling partners, one partner doesn't drive but doesnt trust the other, they don't want to internet shop, financial abuse etc.

Stevedunne · 19/09/2022 18:41

Did you never go to the supermarket as a child?

SnackyOnassis · 19/09/2022 18:44

Shiningstarr · 19/09/2022 10:12

Interesting replies. Didn't think there would be so many.

This has touched a nerve with quite a few people, these people are obviously the ones who like to take their whole family shopping, and don't appreciate the criticism.

A lot of replies have misunderstood, and took my post to mean 'taking kids shopping'. This is incorrect, it's 'taking the whole family shopping', so if you are replying as a single parent, telling us how you can't leave your kids - this is obviously not talking about you!!

It was interesting to see different replies.

Why on earth would we 'appreciate the criticism'? As far as I can tell, it's not something anyone asked for feedback on.
For me, my partner and I work full time Monday to Friday and our son is in nursery. We get sod-all time with him in evenings and weekends, so even if we're doing boring mundane tasks, we want to do them together so we can maximise the time we get to spend as a family.

TheKeatingFive · 19/09/2022 18:46

Jesus who cares?

If anyone wants to 'criticise' people for doing something utterly mundane and harmless, it says a lot about those individual's sad little lives.

SofaLola33 · 19/09/2022 18:49

Blix · 18/09/2022 15:12

I had a friend who did this every weekend. I could never understand why she didn't leave the DC at home with OH. They did all shopping as a family, even with newborns. I later found out he was controlling and abusive. She wasn't allowed money or to go out alone but he wasn't willing to do the shopping himself. So they all went.
They are now divorced.

Exactly the reason to not judge people, because you never know what’s going on behind closed doors.

People suffer from anxiety and other MH issues that may make it difficult for them to get out.

or they just might enjoy going together!

wentworthinmate · 19/09/2022 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SofaLola33 · 19/09/2022 18:50

TheKeatingFive · 19/09/2022 18:46

Jesus who cares?

If anyone wants to 'criticise' people for doing something utterly mundane and harmless, it says a lot about those individual's sad little lives.

Agreed!

OceanbreezeSun · 19/09/2022 18:51

It doesn’t bother me personally. Some kids just like the supermarket and some families like going together.

I actually find it more stressful going to the Aldi near me, mid week around lunchtime. It’s mainly pensioners in there who like to block the aisles with their trollies, then stand in front of the shelves for 5 minutes. They don’t always seem happy if I ask them if I can just get something from the shelf. I know I am being unreasonable in my annoyance but there you go!

Ifeelsuchafool · 19/09/2022 18:51

Reckon it's just about the only "family day day out" most can afford these days.

ememem84 · 19/09/2022 18:51

I had to take my two kids to the shop the other day. Dd (3) can go in the trolley. Ds(5 almost) held onto the trolley and got in the way. The entire time. It was insane. He ran everywhere. Spider-Man rolled. I almost ran him over twice with the trolley.

much prefer going by myself. Less stressful

MrsMcG04 · 19/09/2022 18:52

I personally have quite bad ADHD so when the shop is busy I just get confused and pick up random stuff. My wife and I have a system going, she packs bags logically and moves us along the aisles away from distractions and I tick things off the list- therefore our daughter (1) comes with us too and is usually strapped to me in a harness. Suspect we will continue this as it's easier for our family to go together!

Justontherightsideofnormal · 19/09/2022 18:52

Totally agree with you …..why??!! What I also don’t understand is why parents yell at said children, even swearing like all other shoppers should give them sympathy for their Dcs behaviour. When will parents realise that they just look like utter cf in public

TheGirlWhoLived · 19/09/2022 18:54

Sometimes we wander up to Tesco park and Tesco to buy the shopping and dh finishes work and meets us in there to grab the shopping off us so I don’t need to walk up!

UrslaB · 19/09/2022 18:55

The whole family could have been on a day out and were stopping off to shop on the way home.

Alternatively, it could be the same reason my family used to all shop together. We were a family of varied tatses, strong opinions and a very tight budget. Everyone went shopping in order to have all voices present for compromise when buying things. Also to teach the kids how much things cost. I remember shopping with my brothers and parents. It was used as a live exercise in showing us how much things cost. We want cereal? How much does it cost? How much is in box? How much is that per serving? Will my brothers eat it too? Can we compromise on the brand, the type? Are there better offers available? We want a treat, then we have to figure out what we will cut from our essentials in order to afford it. We had to shop on a strict budget and having us present was a way for mum and dad to have us aware of the cost of things, why we ate what we did and why there wasn't different treats or different options for dinner if we later complained we didn't like something or didn't want it. As we got older and this became a very common outing the debates and trips got shorter as me and my siblings became runners to go and get things across the store. We knew where things were, how to check dates, weigh offers, brands and how to budget. I learned how to pick fresh produce properly, what to look out for and what to avoid. I learned how to judge offers and prices. I know it can be stressful for whole families to go shopping but there are real benefits for kids and later when they are a bit trained up it can expediate the shopping experience too with kids acting as runners.

To be frank, I used to find it more odd to see mothers or fathers shopping alone. I still have to shrug off my personal bias that I assume mothers and fathers who shop alone are more well off because they don't have to bring their kids to face the realities of a budget and buying a rigid list to suit a strict meal plan each week. Now I'm an adult I finally grasp that it is convenience, less stressful, to prevent kids whining for things they maybe can't afford and to maybe shield them from the realities of how tight things may be financially. Perspectives change as we get older and have the experience ourselves. I still look back fondly on grocery shopping with my parents as a kid but recognize now that while valuable experience for us kids, it was stressful for them.

TeenyDancy · 19/09/2022 18:57

They do it because they can. It's hardly the crime of the century is it?

mussymummy · 19/09/2022 18:58

Wow judgemental much? Perhaps they don't drive / can't afford a car / can't afford Internet (in your gilded cage you would be surprised how many people can't afford these things) so to get the food shop done the whole family has to go so they can all carry a shopping bag home including the kids.

At least they are spending time with their kids albeit dragging them around a supermarket