Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Whole families going food shopping

746 replies

Shiningstarr · 18/09/2022 15:01

Just came back from food shopping, there were a couple of young families in there, one in particular, the mum was pushing the trolley, her two young children walking near her and the dad was following with a pram and carrying another toddler.

Surely it would be easier for just mum to go and do the food shop, or just dad? Why bring all those children plus pram? I can't think of anything worse. Both mum and dad looked stressed.

OP posts:
piegone · 19/09/2022 10:24

@properdoughnut

I can't read your reply

piegone · 19/09/2022 10:25

Shiningstarr · 19/09/2022 10:12

Interesting replies. Didn't think there would be so many.

This has touched a nerve with quite a few people, these people are obviously the ones who like to take their whole family shopping, and don't appreciate the criticism.

A lot of replies have misunderstood, and took my post to mean 'taking kids shopping'. This is incorrect, it's 'taking the whole family shopping', so if you are replying as a single parent, telling us how you can't leave your kids - this is obviously not talking about you!!

It was interesting to see different replies.

Perhaps because people don't deserve criticism for going shopping?

Iwanttoholdyourham · 19/09/2022 10:35

We definitely did this when I was in late primary school onwards. (I can't remember before then.) I don't know why we all went, but it felt normal and like family time.

My mum would go through the aisles methodically, picking up things we actually needed, my dad would make a beeline for what interested him, and we were free to roam around the supermarket as long as we checked in with our mum every so often and made it to the check out by the time our mum was done.

Finding dad was a game.

I liked reading labels, which was useful because we had allergies in the family and had to avoid certain things.

Any non-standard products were presented to mum for approval, who would either agree to let us put them in the trolley or would reject them and send us off to replace the items from where we'd found them.

Occasionally, as a treat, we'd go to the supermarket cafe for food.

Everything I know about shopping I learned from those trips - like checking the expiry dates, finding longer dates towards the back, and checking boxes of eggs to make sure none were broken.

I imagine shopping with really small kids is stressful, but everything's stressful with really small kids. As a family made up of people who were old enough to be vaguely well-behaved, it was just life.

UthredofBattenberg · 19/09/2022 10:52

I don't get it either, I'm sure there must be a reason for it, whatever that may be.

Its my idea of hell to be honest.

Shopping yesterday there was a family of mum, dad and two kids. Kid in the trolley was having a screaming tantrum, older child was running off to look at sweets/toys and mither for them. Mum and dad didn't look like they were having a fun time either.

I assume that they have to all come for one reason or another, because otherwise why would you choose to? Shopping with children is not fun, thankfully mine are old enough not to have to come with me now. But id always choose to do the food shop when their dad was around or visa versa as it just made the whole thing 100 times more stressful!

woodhill · 19/09/2022 11:30

I suppose it gets them out of the house and kids get fractious

I tended to go on my own but would walk with the pushchair to buy a few things with 3 dc but not a huge shop

Iguanainanigloo · 19/09/2022 11:37

My kids seem to love the supermarket for some reason, so I always give them the option to come if they want to. I don't let them run riot and get in people's way though, and when they were younger I'd leave them at home with DH if I was attempting a big shop, or DH would go alone to do it, as it was just carnage if we all went. Sometimes though we will stop by on the way back from somewhere and driving past, and then we will all be there. I wouldn't do it out of choice though. There are so many circumstances where a whole family may have to do the shop together. If one doesn't drive for example, but wants to choose some stuff. They shouldn't always have to stay home with the kids. I get it's annoying if the kids are running wild though and getting in everyone's way.

Relevanceiskey · 19/09/2022 12:05

Christ alive why is everyone in this bloody country so intolerant of children 😂 Take your misery elsewhere. Its hilarious how everyone always goes on about "entitlement" on MN in regards to parents and their children. Sorry, but I think the "entitlement" comes from miseries like you all who expect everyone to pander to their constant need for quiet and convenience. The sheer CHAOS that goes on in many parts of the world and you are complaining about it taking an extra 7 seconds to walk down a supermarket aisle.

Raul57 · 19/09/2022 12:13

I strongly urge all working familes to take their kids with them and we did as we worked Mon to Friday and hardly had any time together so we always went to the shops together until they were older

Somethingsnappy · 19/09/2022 12:44

Shiningstarr · 19/09/2022 10:12

Interesting replies. Didn't think there would be so many.

This has touched a nerve with quite a few people, these people are obviously the ones who like to take their whole family shopping, and don't appreciate the criticism.

A lot of replies have misunderstood, and took my post to mean 'taking kids shopping'. This is incorrect, it's 'taking the whole family shopping', so if you are replying as a single parent, telling us how you can't leave your kids - this is obviously not talking about you!!

It was interesting to see different replies.

It's not obvious at all op. Can you really not imagine a scenario where someone might (gasp) have a different opinion to yours, without it relating specifically to their situation? There will be some posters to whom it does relate, of course. And others who just simply don't agree with your judgemental and ignorant approach.

Meatshake · 19/09/2022 12:58

I'm not sure why we have to hate doing things with our kids, it's nice to include them and I like spending time with them. My kids (3, 5) learn a lot from going to the supermarket and how to meal plan/choose food. They get to count items and pay too. They're more likely to eat well if they have planned their own meals and been involved in purchasing their food. It's just a part of life and parenting.

MumofSpud · 19/09/2022 13:01

Op you are absolutely right!
Mum / dad / 3or 4 children - all walking across the aisle blocking it or even better giving the youngest child the trolley to push
Yes - you can teach a lot to children in supermarkets- how about the first thing is how to behave in public

Shiningstarr · 19/09/2022 13:04

Meatshake · 19/09/2022 12:58

I'm not sure why we have to hate doing things with our kids, it's nice to include them and I like spending time with them. My kids (3, 5) learn a lot from going to the supermarket and how to meal plan/choose food. They get to count items and pay too. They're more likely to eat well if they have planned their own meals and been involved in purchasing their food. It's just a part of life and parenting.

Again this is not a post about taking your kids shopping it's about whole family going shopping so the Mum the Dad and however many children you have got.

OP posts:
Ilikepinacoladass · 19/09/2022 13:07

Yep, food shopping is a one person job. Seems like such a waste of time for more than one person to be there (unless they have to be ie. Single parent with no child free time). Or do online shopping and do something more interesting as a couple / family, like walking around the park or anything else that doesn't involve a supermarket....

NewMeforthemillionthtime · 19/09/2022 13:08

I take my DC to teach them how to shop. We read the price labels and compare the price per 100g. Then we look for alternatives. We look at the 3 for 2 and Bogof offers and compare those. We look at the traffic light system. So whilst we do tale up some time and probably do get in other shopers way, I think it's totally worth it.

Ilikepinacoladass · 19/09/2022 13:09

I mean a very brief trip to the shops with kids is interesting for them / useful for learning, but definitely not a weekly thing or big shop, unless absolutely necessary

Ilikepinacoladass · 19/09/2022 13:13

It's probably jealousy, but as a single parent when I see couples out shopping together I often think could one of them not be at home doing something useful / getting chores done, so then they could actually spend the rest of the day doing something more interesting as a couple than shopping lol

Mangledrake · 19/09/2022 13:18

Doesn't matter whether it's the whole family or part of it. There are only two things to think about - are the kids (and adults) behaving? Is the group blocking the aisle - allowing that even a super efficient single shopper will block you sometimes.

If you can cope with the children of single parents mooching around at toddler pace knee high, you can cope with the children of couples. If you can cope with couples, you can cope with couples with children. I like seeing families out and about, and I've fond memories of shopping with one or both parents - talking, learning, helping. Nothing healthy in slicing every event down for max efficiency, or in zooming around the supermarket without allowing for a normal range of human activity.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 19/09/2022 13:35

I wasn't working when DD2 was little, so I had to take her shopping with me. By the time she got to Nursery, she had an encyclopaedic knowledge of fruit, vegetables and could follow her own shopping list (I'd do one with little cartoons of things like three apples, a jar of Marmite, loaf of bread, a fish and prawns, that kind of thing), which I think helped her literacy and numeracy, along with pattern recognition, geographical placement, routines, etc. She also willingly ate a far wider variety of foods than her elder sister, who had been looked after by her grandmother and father whilst I was at work.

Once I was working again, they both came along and would help carry things, make choices of things they wanted to try and generally learned the skills they'd need as adults in terms of shopping, choosing items, having ideas based upon offers and what was in season, confidence speaking to adults, making payments, performing some quick calculations to work out if something really was a better deal - that kind of thing.

The only time I could go shopping was the weekend. I didn't get back from work until five minutes before the after school club closed. And online deliveries (only two supermarkets even had us in their delivery area at the time) didn't include reduced to clear or the cheapest ranges. I preferred to know what I was putting in the trolley than trust a bored, tired, overworked and underpaid picker to get the very freshest or ripest items. And to be able to change my mind because something looked better or was reduced.

It was easier logistically when the ex came along with his car. And they learned that shopping wasn't just something that Mums did, Dads did it as well Dad also learned about the concept of having a big red sign saying special offer didn't necessarily mean it was the cheapest too.

In short, the benefits to the kids' learning and the logistics, along with ensuring better value for money made the effort worthwhile.

thefamous5 · 19/09/2022 13:49

Occasionally, we take four kids shopping...shock!

Why?

We've stopped off somewhere and the kids don't want to sit in a car

We have gone to look
At clothes/homewares

Because I want my kids to understand the value of money, choosing the foods and knowing not everything has to be fun

Because we can

Youdoyoutoday · 19/09/2022 13:52

They are the same people who consider a trip to A&E as a family day out too!

Shiningstarr · 19/09/2022 13:57

Youdoyoutoday · 19/09/2022 13:52

They are the same people who consider a trip to A&E as a family day out too!

Yes that's exactly right!! Perhaps they are having an educational trip there too! Learning all about the NHS and how the triage system works.

OP posts:
WildfellAnne · 19/09/2022 14:00

Youdoyoutoday · 19/09/2022 13:52

They are the same people who consider a trip to A&E as a family day out too!

They really aren’t. Quite the opposite, I’d say.

piegone · 19/09/2022 14:21

@Shiningstarr

Yes that's exactly right!! Perhaps they are having an educational trip there too! Learning all about the NHS and how the triage system works.

I don't know why you are being sarcastic because people choose to take their children shopping (yeah yeah, just the ones with 2 parents) rather then leave them at home?

It is part of life learning (as is a trip to A&E where necessary)

TheFrustratedRedhead · 19/09/2022 14:23

God forbid you actually enjoy the company of your husband/wife/partner/kids and have no bloody money to do anything else at a weekend 🙄

Please get a life and don’t be so bloody miserable!

Shiningstarr · 19/09/2022 14:24

piegone · 19/09/2022 14:21

@Shiningstarr

Yes that's exactly right!! Perhaps they are having an educational trip there too! Learning all about the NHS and how the triage system works.

I don't know why you are being sarcastic because people choose to take their children shopping (yeah yeah, just the ones with 2 parents) rather then leave them at home?

It is part of life learning (as is a trip to A&E where necessary)

Well the family in my opening post did not look like they were enjoying the 'learning experience', with newborn baby in pram, and toddler being carried. Not sure what exactly they were learning. The older child wasn't being shown anything, just ignored while both parents huffed and puffed, and mum looked very fed up.

There's no benefit whatsoever to whole families sitting and waiting in a&e.

OP posts: