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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Whole families going food shopping

746 replies

Shiningstarr · 18/09/2022 15:01

Just came back from food shopping, there were a couple of young families in there, one in particular, the mum was pushing the trolley, her two young children walking near her and the dad was following with a pram and carrying another toddler.

Surely it would be easier for just mum to go and do the food shop, or just dad? Why bring all those children plus pram? I can't think of anything worse. Both mum and dad looked stressed.

OP posts:
Jamie89 · 18/09/2022 21:00

I think it's funny to see people saying "why don't they do an online shop?" .... Why don't the people who clearly don't like normal societal activities do one instead? It's the same people who moan about pensioners going to the shop at lunchtime "My time is so much more important and I need to get back to work". Well, actually it's not. Families have a hard enough time without being responsible for everyone else's experience. I have witnessed thousands of families shopping in my time and the vast majority are just living their life and trying their best.

MoggyMittens23 · 18/09/2022 21:56

NippyWoowoo · 18/09/2022 20:27

This is similar to what I witness, where are walk these families who peacefully have a democratic discussion on what foods they should buy, and those children gaining an education by counting tins and learning the value of things? 😂 I had to run once more today to grab a few things I'd forgotten, and ended up in an aisle with a poor mother whose child was in the midst of a tantrum, screaming the shop down. That was not a delightful, family bonding experience for her I'm sure.

@Shiningstarr I love your responses

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Ooh you've got a fan OP

MoggyMittens23 · 18/09/2022 21:57

@NippyWoowoo maybe you should shop at Waitrose

Wouldloveanother · 18/09/2022 21:59

PrimarilyParented · 18/09/2022 15:41

Taking the kids food shopping means they learn the value of money, how to help, queue and generally be helpful. They also get to choose some of the food for treats. The kids always want to come food shopping with us for these reasons.

Basic life skills are valuable and so taking your kids food shopping is definitely not a bad thing. Fine if you don’t want to, but don’t judge others for it.

in addition supermarkets have other items like clothes you may want kids to try on. There are also cafes and as a kid in a low income household it was a great treat for us to go to the Asda cafe after doing a big food shop (they had some kind of deal at the time on kids meals if you had done a big shop).

I haven’t seen a single family quizzing the kids on which is the cheaper item, or encouraging them to add up as they go along. It’s just throw it all in the trolley and beep the debit card at the end. Let’s not kid ourselves it’s mainly being done as an educational activity…

YANBU OP, it’s really irritating. I can understand the odd time you have to do it for logistical reasons, but I honestly think a lot of families see it as a ‘trip out’.

Wouldloveanother · 18/09/2022 22:01

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 18/09/2022 18:24

What a hateful thread.

😂

demogorgan · 18/09/2022 22:08

kimchifox · 18/09/2022 15:08

Maybe they have been doing something else and are now doing the food shop on the way home?

Exactly this.

Threelittlelambs · 18/09/2022 22:11

Let’s not kid ourselves it’s mainly being done as an educational activity…

I agree - so many kids don’t recognize coin value it’s unreal! Go ask your kids!

Wouldloveanother · 18/09/2022 22:21

georgarina · 18/09/2022 15:35

This is....really not something I could get upset about.

And yet here you are.

VestaTilley · 18/09/2022 22:39

YABU. Mind your own business.

We used to go as a four when we were kids - it teaches children budgeting, meal planning and buying by weight. My DM didn’t drive, so the trip to the supermarket in a different town (we lived in a small town) before going out elsewhere later was part of her change of scene.

When kids are in school all week and parents work, why wouldn’t you want to maximise your time together? Not everyone can get online shopping or can afford it.

mogsrus · 18/09/2022 22:42

Could never see the reasoning why a whole family have to go, it’s bad enough with just 2 but that many would be too much

gigithecat · 18/09/2022 23:20

Grandeur · 18/09/2022 15:06

I've always thought this. It's annoying as fuck when they don't separate and they block the aisles with their huge tribe 🙄

This made me chuckle 🤭

Jamie89 · 19/09/2022 06:46

Threelittlelambs · 18/09/2022 22:11

Let’s not kid ourselves it’s mainly being done as an educational activity…

I agree - so many kids don’t recognize coin value it’s unreal! Go ask your kids!

Education isn't only about maths or money. Shopping trips include hundreds of tiny decisions every time, as well as identifying fruit and veg, finding the ingredients for home cooked meals, learning to be patient, learning to be conscientious and follow rules as well as developing responsibilities within the family unit. If families disappeared from the supermarkets it would not be a good thing.

How many minutes a week does this annoy the average shopper anyway? One? Two? So, some of you would want to curtail a family's routine and experience to save a minute or two of annoyance. Oh, come on, have a word with yourself. It's not about you. It's not all about anybody.

georgarina · 19/09/2022 07:18

Wouldloveanother · 18/09/2022 22:21

And yet here you are.

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...this is AIBU. You do understand the point is to agree or disagree?

GreenWheat · 19/09/2022 07:57

It's also a very British, or perhaps Anglo Saxon, phenomenon- I live outside the UK now and vanishingly rarely see it here.

What utter rubbish. Every time I have been into a big supermarket anywhere in Europe, there are whole families in there. It is in no way "vanishingly rare" (really irritating MN phrase but moving on....)

londonrach · 19/09/2022 08:00

Yabu. Does it matter to you. My friend has to go shopping with her DH and her five children as she doesn't drive so DH has to drive them to the shop. She trying to learn to drive but impossible to find the time....

JoieDeLivres · 19/09/2022 08:22

Mental thread. How DARE people go to a place??

BringMeTea · 19/09/2022 08:23

Yes it's annoying AF.

Readaboutyourself · 19/09/2022 08:41

londonrach · 19/09/2022 08:00

Yabu. Does it matter to you. My friend has to go shopping with her DH and her five children as she doesn't drive so DH has to drive them to the shop. She trying to learn to drive but impossible to find the time....

Online shopping? Click and collect?

Or the DH could go and save us all from a family of 7.

Confusion101 · 19/09/2022 09:13

Not everyone wants to do online delivery or click and collect. Some people like browsing, selecting their own, checking the available offers in store. Not once as it occurred to me maybe I should change my shopping habits because I am leaving people utterly baffled after a big shop with my DP and DC 🙄🙄🙄

startrek90 · 19/09/2022 09:43

We do this. We don't have a car and itmore than one person to bring back shopping on public transport. Our kids are too young to be left alone for the 2+ hours it would take to do the shopping so they have to come with us. No shops do online shopping were we live and the grocery boxes you can order online are way above our budget. If it upsets you to see a family in the supermarket then tough luck. Most people are doing the best they can. They have every right to be there, if you don't like it why don't you do your shopping online?

piegone · 19/09/2022 09:52

JoieDeLivres · 19/09/2022 08:22

Mental thread. How DARE people go to a place??

So weird.

The children should stay at home suggestion is quite bizarre.

Shopping is part of life, and those children who get left at home while one parent does it alone, all the time, will turn into the example from upthread of university students crowing round the noodles with several trolleies not knowing what to buy.

I taught my children many life skills through example and discussion.

Original poster
Shiningstarr · 19/09/2022 10:12

Interesting replies. Didn't think there would be so many.

This has touched a nerve with quite a few people, these people are obviously the ones who like to take their whole family shopping, and don't appreciate the criticism.

A lot of replies have misunderstood, and took my post to mean 'taking kids shopping'. This is incorrect, it's 'taking the whole family shopping', so if you are replying as a single parent, telling us how you can't leave your kids - this is obviously not talking about you!!

It was interesting to see different replies.

OP posts:
Lincslady53 · 19/09/2022 10:14

Do you remember those halcyon days of Spring 2020? Only one person from a family allowed in to shop, everyone distancing, people with a set list and getting in and out as quickly as possible. Bliss.

properdoughnut · 19/09/2022 10:23

Lincslady53 · 19/09/2022 10:14

Do you remember those halcyon days of Spring 2020? Only one person from a family allowed in to shop, everyone distancing, people with a set list and getting in and out as quickly as possible. Bliss.

What are you on about those days were shit. Queuing to get in. Being yelled at if you forgot something and tried to go back through the one way system. Everyone terrified to go within 2 meters of each other. If you had allergies and needed to check a packet you got glared at if you put it back. Sanitising trolleys for fear of death basically.

properdoughnut · 19/09/2022 10:23

piegone · 19/09/2022 09:52

So weird.

The children should stay at home suggestion is quite bizarre.

Shopping is part of life, and those children who get left at home while one parent does it alone, all the time, will turn into the example from upthread of university students crowing round the noodles with several trolleies not knowing what to buy.

I taught my children many life skills through example and discussion.

Show quote history

Exactly. Kids need to learn how to shop!