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AIBU?

Prince George and the Queen's funeral

309 replies

KTKismet · 18/09/2022 05:17

Can't sleep and read this:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11222927/Prince-William-Princess-Kate-considering-taking-9-year-old-George-Queens-funeral.html

AIBU to think "palace aides" should wind their necks in and leave Prince George alone, rather than insisting he attends the queen's funeral.

He has a lifetime of service ahead of him, surely they should preserve his childhood as long as possible. I think it's hugely inappropriate, AIBU?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1139 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
78%
You are NOT being unreasonable
22%
Abraxan · 18/09/2022 08:28

MrsDThomas · 18/09/2022 07:49

People die. Kids know that. They need to attend funerals to understand that dead people aren’t taken to heaven by angels!

especially with his future. This is what it is.

There is private service later which he could attend, along with the other great grandchildren.

It's the large scale, mass televised one that he doesn't need to be going to, simply to be paraded in view to appease the public who want to see a 9 year old boy grieving at his great grandmother's funeral,

You only have to see how some of the media focused in on the 14y grandson at her vigil yesterday, or his mum's face - simply to fill papers and websites of 'grief stricken child and mum' type headlines and photographs. It's just not necessary for a young child to do this in the public gaze, especially when there is a private service for the family he can attend.

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knittingaddict · 18/09/2022 08:36

KTKismet · 18/09/2022 05:37

you are worried he's not noticed his great-grandmother has died and he'll get a shock at the funeral?

Obviously not this @AnImaginaryCat

It's more in line with what @daretodenim is saying. He's 9, it's not a usual family funeral, it is a media circus.

Both William and Harry have commented that walking behind the Queen's coffin was triggering for them/ that their mother's funeral in front of the cameras shaped much of their lives.

I'm not a fan of the usual royal stiff upper lip at funerals and have been encouraged seeing actual emotion this time round (how many of us would go to a close family members funeral and not be upset!!). However I think 9 is just too young to have to have him in front of cameras, trying to control his emotions and attend his great grans funeral.

There's a big difference between a mother of young children who died in a tragic and preventable accident and a very elderly woman dying of old age.

Both of my children went to family funerales around the age of 9. Neither have been damaged in any way by it. I think by the age of 9 children have some understanding of death and funerals can be helpful in the grieving process.

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sponsabillaries · 18/09/2022 08:38

My DC1 is almost exactly the same age as George to within a few days and I wouldn't hesitate to take them to the funeral of a grandparent or great-grandparent who had had a natural death at the end of a long life. However obviously we are not royals and our family funerals are not televised.

I think there are ways that they could protect him here - bringing him in through a side entrance, seating him discreetly with a trusted adult like a maternal grandparent - but that would defeat the object of making him 'visible' at the service. No nine-year-old, no matter if he is second in line to the throne, should be used in that way.

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CatsandFish · 18/09/2022 08:39

knittingaddict · 18/09/2022 08:36

There's a big difference between a mother of young children who died in a tragic and preventable accident and a very elderly woman dying of old age.

Both of my children went to family funerales around the age of 9. Neither have been damaged in any way by it. I think by the age of 9 children have some understanding of death and funerals can be helpful in the grieving process.

There is also a big difference in a small civilian funeral, and a massive televised one that will last for I think at bare minimum 2 hours (not including wake and then another private interment later on). It's too long for a 9 year old. It's just not fair on him. People are not thinking of the best interests of the child.

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TeenDivided · 18/09/2022 08:41

The state funeral is 1hr, though there is the coming and going. The length of itself is not unreasonable for a 9 year old. There are of course masses of other factors. I trust W&K to make the decision they think is best for George.

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Nocaloriesinchocolate · 18/09/2022 08:43

George’s parents wouldn’t be able to grieve properly (in their heads - I’m sure they’ll strive not to show emotion - though why not is a different topic) if they were worrying all through the service about their 9 year old child and alert to his every wriggle;

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LiveInSunshine · 18/09/2022 08:47

My first reaction was ‘of course he should go!’, it’s normal for a 9 yr old to go to their Grandmother’s funeral.
But having dwelt on it I changed my mind. It’s not normal to go and be filmed throughout and televised for the world to see. One inappropriate smile or yawn on camera and he’ll be 50 and still having that picture analysed. He’d be 60 and making a gaffe and probably have it brought up that he was an inattentive/ rude child too.
A private goodbye is enough. I wouldn’t expose my 9 yr old to the pressure in front of possibly the UK’s biggest ever TV audience and the worlds press. I’d protect them. My 9 yr old is a lovely thoughtful child, but I’m sure they’d lose their composure briefly at points and look tired or inappropriate briefly- that’s what kids do. And he won’t understand the consequences of not being perfectly composed.

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YennefersDress · 18/09/2022 08:48

People are not thinking of the best interests of the child.


I'm sure his parents are better placed to judge what is best for him than Mumsnet.

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LouLou198 · 18/09/2022 08:48

I've never understood why children are kept away from funerals. As I child I wasn't allowed to attend the funeral of my great grandmother. I was 11 at the time. I felt excluded and that I didn't have chance to say goodbye properly. My dc have always been given the option and have attended. I think it really helps them process what has happened.

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CatsandFish · 18/09/2022 08:50

We shall see, but I do not buy for a second that the state funeral is only one hour. That's the time of an ordinary common person's funeral. We are talking about the Queen here. There will be long speeches, a formal mass, and choir/various music.

I do not buy for even a split second that all that will only last an hour. This is The Queen. It will go on forever as well as a formal mass.

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sponsabillaries · 18/09/2022 08:57

www.royal.uk/state-funeral-and-committal-service-her-majesty-queen

Full (and slightly florid) explanation of all timings here. Funeral service will commence 1100 and finish 1200.

Anglican funerals do not usually include the Eucharist. It will not be a full mass.

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DorchaAndLouis · 18/09/2022 09:14

It's very unlikely that his parents would force him to stay for the whole event.
He might want to attend for an hour or so.
It's not as if his parents will have to keep him there with them because they don't have childcare.

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theworldhas · 18/09/2022 09:21

There is private service later which he could attend, along with the other great grandchildren.

It's the large scale, mass televised one that he doesn't need to be going to, simply to be paraded in view to appease the public who want to see a 9 year old boy grieving at his great grandmother's funeral,


You only have to see how some of the media focused in on the 14y grandson at her vigil yesterday, or his mum's face - simply to fill papers and websites of 'grief stricken child and mum' type headlines and photographs. It's just not necessary for a young child to do this in the public gaze, especially when there is a private service for the family he can attend


Well said. Though I’d extent this bit - It's just not necessary for a young child to do this in the public gaze - to apply to the whole circus of monarchy.

Hereditary monarchy is bizarre at the best of time, but I think expecting children to be paraded in front of the public and press due to no reason other than who their ancestors were is a gross infringement of human rights of the child. I oppose hereditary monarchy for this reason alone.

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theworldhas · 18/09/2022 09:23

@YennefersDress
I'm sure his parents are better placed to judge what is best for him than Mumsnet

You think all parents act in the best interests of their children just by virtue of being their parents? Interesting.

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PAFMO · 18/09/2022 09:23

CatsandFish · 18/09/2022 08:50

We shall see, but I do not buy for a second that the state funeral is only one hour. That's the time of an ordinary common person's funeral. We are talking about the Queen here. There will be long speeches, a formal mass, and choir/various music.

I do not buy for even a split second that all that will only last an hour. This is The Queen. It will go on forever as well as a formal mass.

The service in London will last for one hour. The before and after and the journey to Windsor will obviously go on for most of the day.

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Zebedee55 · 18/09/2022 09:24

If it was going to be a small, intimate family and friends event, then that would seem ok.

But, I wouldn't take a 9 year old to what will be a media circus, complete with the roadside "weepers". Harry and William said it was difficult for them with all that going on around them.

It will be very formal, with heads of state etc, so I would think the private service at Windsor would be better. Away from the crowds and the cameras.

The sources said it was to "show continuity and reassure the nation" - not sure what that's all about. People either support the monarchy or they don't.

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DorchaAndLouis · 18/09/2022 09:35

The sources said it was to "show continuity and reassure the nation" - not sure what that's all about. People either support the monarchy or they don't.

This doesn't make sense, probably the Mail doing their usual "not letting facts get in the way of a good headline" spin.

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YennefersDress · 18/09/2022 09:49

theworldhas · 18/09/2022 09:23

@YennefersDress
I'm sure his parents are better placed to judge what is best for him than Mumsnet

You think all parents act in the best interests of their children just by virtue of being their parents? Interesting.

@theworldhas because of course thinking that Prince George's parents, who seem to be decent, sensible caring parents, equates thinking that all parents always do what is best for their child.

Honestly the twisting of things on here is ridiculous at times.

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CanaryShoulderedThorn · 18/09/2022 10:00

William and Kate seem to be caring and attentive parents. I am sure they will act with their children's best interests at heart.

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Letthekidsplay · 18/09/2022 10:02

Chouetted · 18/09/2022 05:27

I don't think attending a funeral is going to ruin his childhood.

This isn’t a normal funeral, there’s going to be a private family funeral afterwards, he should go to that one.

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reluctantbrit · 18/09/2022 10:04

I am in two minds. I lost my very elderly gran when I was 8 and there was never a question of not going to the funeral, it's not healthy to shield children.

But, we are not talking here of a family affair with close friends attending a church service and the cemetery.We are talking about the abbey with 2000 people and lots more outside.

Maybe let him go, show that he sits with Catherine and then leave him in peace. Or just the service in Windsor as that will be a lot smaller affair.

We know that the succession is secure, there is no need to do more than what you would put any other 9 year old through.

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HRTQueen · 18/09/2022 10:11

This is the harsh reality of his role as future king his life isn’t is own his role is to serve his country

I hope he is just attending the private funeral. The state funeral with cameras on him at every opportunity they can be his every expression every move will be scrutinised he can’t comprehend this and one would want this for their child. Both William and Harry have made it very clear how difficult it was having to be in the public eye when grieving

but many of the public will love this and as always the place with their well oiled pr machine will be gaging the public’s reaction to the idea

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the80sweregreat · 18/09/2022 10:16

The daily Mail were completely over the top going on about nine year old George bringing the country ' reassurance ' at this sad time if he goes to the funeral.
It's just rubbish. It's up to his parents if he goes or not tomorrow!

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kittensinthekitchen · 18/09/2022 10:20

I dont feel it would be inappropriate if he were to attend, but I do think it inappropriate that the 'Palace aides' are attempting to influence a decision his parents have already made.

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RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 18/09/2022 10:22

I know im repeating what many posters have said but there is the odd poster still not acknowledging it

the private family funeral George will no doubt attend like many great grandchildren and grandchildren across the country

the pomp and ceremony one with cameras etc not necessarily…and definitely not if its just for the optics. For every person watching the funeral and thinking how lovely it is will be someone else thinking that its not right….especially as George will more than likely attending the private one

no one on here has said he shouldn’t be at a funeral at all…just not this one

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