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AIBU?

Prince George and the Queen's funeral

309 replies

KTKismet · 18/09/2022 05:17

Can't sleep and read this:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11222927/Prince-William-Princess-Kate-considering-taking-9-year-old-George-Queens-funeral.html

AIBU to think "palace aides" should wind their necks in and leave Prince George alone, rather than insisting he attends the queen's funeral.

He has a lifetime of service ahead of him, surely they should preserve his childhood as long as possible. I think it's hugely inappropriate, AIBU?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1139 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
78%
You are NOT being unreasonable
22%
RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 18/09/2022 10:22

Actually i bet someone has said that 🤔

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5128gap · 18/09/2022 10:30

KTKismet · 18/09/2022 05:37

you are worried he's not noticed his great-grandmother has died and he'll get a shock at the funeral?

Obviously not this @AnImaginaryCat

It's more in line with what @daretodenim is saying. He's 9, it's not a usual family funeral, it is a media circus.

Both William and Harry have commented that walking behind the Queen's coffin was triggering for them/ that their mother's funeral in front of the cameras shaped much of their lives.

I'm not a fan of the usual royal stiff upper lip at funerals and have been encouraged seeing actual emotion this time round (how many of us would go to a close family members funeral and not be upset!!). However I think 9 is just too young to have to have him in front of cameras, trying to control his emotions and attend his great grans funeral.

Of course it was triggering for W&H. They lost their mother decades before her time in shocking and tragic circumstances. Prince George has lost his extremely elderly great grandmother. There's no comparison.
I agree, its not attending the funeral that's the issue, it's the media attention. Sadly, the child will have to face that his entire life, as the public will not accept royalty they never see, and he will need to be trained for this from a young age. Its up to his parents to strike a balance between protecting him and doing what's necessary to preserve the position they want their family to have in society.

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ddl1 · 18/09/2022 10:44

AnImaginaryCat · 18/09/2022 05:32

It's really weird not taking children to funerals of their relatives.

Or is it you are worried he's not noticed his great-grandmother has died and he'll get a shock at the funeral?

It's not the funeral as such. It's having the media spotlight on him at a time of personal grief. Yes, assuming that both the monarchy and the media continue in their present form, he will eventually have to get used to such things; but 9 is very young.

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Viviennemary · 18/09/2022 10:51

Personally, i dont think funerals are a place for children. But up to individuals to decide on this. I certainly don't think Prince George should be pressurised into going at his age. But I think William and Kate will deal with it in a sensible way.

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lookluv · 18/09/2022 10:52

Whilst not on the same scale - my 6 yr old went to my mothers funeral and was fine, he went again at 11 to my fathers funeral. He got up and read a poem at my fathers - he wanted to.
If he wants to at that age he should go and sit with his home and Dad.

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5128gap · 18/09/2022 10:57

ddl1 · 18/09/2022 10:44

It's not the funeral as such. It's having the media spotlight on him at a time of personal grief. Yes, assuming that both the monarchy and the media continue in their present form, he will eventually have to get used to such things; but 9 is very young.

It is very young. Just as 70s is very old to be starting out in your life's work, and mid 90s and days from death is ridiculously old to be still working.
The whole institution requires its members to act in ways that are alien to ordinary people. Its the price to pay for its continuation.

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OrlandointheWilderness · 18/09/2022 10:57

Of course he should go. He is second in line and like it or not, that is a role that carries responsibilities. He is 9, it's only a church service. My DD sat through many relatively long ones at that age, he'll be fine. He's not made of glass!

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the80sweregreat · 18/09/2022 11:04

Just going to the private funeral might be a better option I think, not that it's anything to do with me.

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lljkk · 18/09/2022 11:06

I hope that George gets to decide.

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megletthesecond · 18/09/2022 11:09

The state funeral is no place for a 9 year old. That would be a pretty bad call if George went to it.

The Windsor service sounds like it will be much more family focused.

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Brefugee · 18/09/2022 11:10

He has a lifetime of service ahead of him

meh. It's cutting ribbons and shaking hands. 9 is old enough to go to your grannie's funeral. The younger ones? not so much

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Fizbosshoes · 18/09/2022 11:15

It's irrelevant that many of us have children that attended a funeral at 9 years old (or younger) and weren't unduly traumatised, and behaved in an appropriate manner.

This isn't about whether a 9 year old should or shouldn't go to "a" funeral, its about a funeral that will have thousands of guests, tens, if not hundreds of thousands of people lining the route, TV cameras and photographers homing in on individuals, and because of this, they may well feel unable to express the normal range of emotions that one might feel at a funeral.

We had MILS funeral during covid restrictions. The service and wake was family only because of the limit if 15. Grandchildren ranged from 11 (my DS) to late 20s. All of them were in tears at various points and had a hug from their parents/grandad and probably half (grown up children and gc) fell asleep afterwards! Point being it can be an emotionally tiring experience and in normal family settings its quite OK to show emotion/have hugs etc....where as the RF are "on duty" and on camera so will be more guarded about how they behave (which in itself is probably more exhausting!)

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HRTQueen · 18/09/2022 11:27

I agree

The state funeral is nothing like any funeral our children will have attended our children do not have the worlds media watching their every expression their every move

this is not what any loving and caring parent would want for their children but it’s not just about that if he does attend it’s because its considered the right thing to do because of his future role as King. course statements will be issued how he really wanted to go like Harry and William really wanted to walk behind their mother’s coffin in the glare of the world media (as if at 9 he knows what’s best for him )

senior royal life at times is very harsh what’s best emotionally doesn’t come into some decisions made for the children

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zingally · 18/09/2022 11:38

If this was a "normal" 9 year old, and a "normal" very old granny who had died, I'd say take him, no problem.

But none of this is "normal". And if he cries, or looks upset, those images are in the public domain for the rest of time. And while it's normal for a 9 year old to cry and be upset when something sad happens, most people don't have to look back at photos of that moment for the rest of their lives.

He's got a lot of years ahead to hone his public face. This doesn't have to be one of them.

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DoubleShotEspresso · 18/09/2022 11:45

I'd have thought the best option for all three children would be to watch the funeral at home with Kate's parents?
The goldfish bowl media for most 9year olds would be pretty awful.
Regardless this is a decision I'd hope K&W can make independent of palace pressures. There's been more than enough emphasis of "continuity" and pomp and ceremony with the relentless reporting. Do what's best for the children fgs.

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Snugglemonkey · 18/09/2022 11:46

The media presence creates difficulty, but I think it is very weird not to bring a 9 year old to the funeral of a close relative.

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5128gap · 18/09/2022 11:52

Prince George was born to parents who think its acceptable to decide their child's career and lifestyle from birth. To present this to him as his inescapable destiny. To train, steer and guide him in one direction only and brainwash him into thinking he has certain obligations that he must meet until he dies. Whatever that child's personal wishes and hopes might be, unless they fit his families agenda, they will be irrelevant. Given this, I think whether he is made to attend the funeral is the least thing we should be concerned about.

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MrsSkylerWhite · 18/09/2022 11:54

We didn’t take our then 3 year old to her grandpa’s funeral. 27 now, she still tells us she wishes we had.

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Hoolihan · 18/09/2022 12:00

5128gap · 18/09/2022 11:52

Prince George was born to parents who think its acceptable to decide their child's career and lifestyle from birth. To present this to him as his inescapable destiny. To train, steer and guide him in one direction only and brainwash him into thinking he has certain obligations that he must meet until he dies. Whatever that child's personal wishes and hopes might be, unless they fit his families agenda, they will be irrelevant. Given this, I think whether he is made to attend the funeral is the least thing we should be concerned about.

Totally agree. His whole life is going to be a 'media circus'! He may as well get used to it.

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Libertyqueen · 18/09/2022 12:05

KTKismet · 18/09/2022 05:37

you are worried he's not noticed his great-grandmother has died and he'll get a shock at the funeral?

Obviously not this @AnImaginaryCat

It's more in line with what @daretodenim is saying. He's 9, it's not a usual family funeral, it is a media circus.

Both William and Harry have commented that walking behind the Queen's coffin was triggering for them/ that their mother's funeral in front of the cameras shaped much of their lives.

I'm not a fan of the usual royal stiff upper lip at funerals and have been encouraged seeing actual emotion this time round (how many of us would go to a close family members funeral and not be upset!!). However I think 9 is just too young to have to have him in front of cameras, trying to control his emotions and attend his great grans funeral.

Totally agree. I hope William and Kate ignore the men in grey suits who have frequently shown themselves to have the emotional intelligence of a courgette. I really hope the next generation of Royals won’t be ruled in the same way the previous ones were. It caused no end of heartache.

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StolenWillowTree · 18/09/2022 12:06

No way will George be allowed to skip, he's the future king, he's being trained for that job from birth. Attending major royal events is literally his job.

Kate won't get any say.

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NippyWoowoo · 18/09/2022 12:06

The most unreasonable thing in this headline is that his attendance would 'reassure the nation'. Bunch of shite.

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Luredbyapomegranate · 18/09/2022 12:07

Joystir59 · 18/09/2022 06:11

You do know that when the queen's coffin goes to Windsor there will be a private family funeral service when she is interred. Perhaps the royal children will be at that service.

Yes exactly. The main event isn't a normal funeral, but I'm sure they'll take part in some way.

That said, if they think George and even Charlotte are up to sitting through it, I can't see it would do them any harm, there's no comparison with walking behind Diana's coffin. I'd imagine it's more about if their parents want to be keeping an eye on them, rather than focusing on the event.

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Libertyqueen · 18/09/2022 12:08

Snugglemonkey · 18/09/2022 11:46

The media presence creates difficulty, but I think it is very weird not to bring a 9 year old to the funeral of a close relative.

There is a private commital service afterwards that he can go to. He has zero need to be in front of potentially billions of people on TV in a moment of grief. Definitely not in the name of ‘reassuring the public’. I’d be far more reassured knowing that our future monach’s wellbeing was being protected.

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Abraxan · 18/09/2022 12:08

Snugglemonkey · 18/09/2022 11:46

The media presence creates difficulty, but I think it is very weird not to bring a 9 year old to the funeral of a close relative.

But in the case there are two services. One is the mass scale televised state funeral and the other is a smaller scale private family service.

I know which I feel is most appropriate for a 9y child.

I really think many of the people, especially the media. Want him to 'appear' at the televised one for the wrong reasons and they don't have the child's interest in mind.

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