To be grumpy that my friend got the job?

[Champagnesupamother]

After struggling at my current job for about three years (think toxic ‘we’re a family’, lots of pressure to go above and beyond your contractual employed hours for no reward but everyone does it so it’s expected.. low paid etc).

I finally decided enough was enough and I was super lucky to get an interview at another company that is a small start up, ethical and which had less hours. It would have been a 10k pay rise which meant a significant change to my circumstances. I was really excited and keeping all my toes crossed.
I told my best friend who I share pretty much everything with… and then she also applied too.

She ended up interviewing before me. Her interview ran 15 minutes over and though mine was an hour slot too, they wrapped things up at 45 mins to see the next candidate. Though my feedback was really positive and they will offer me a role, it just won’t be until possibly next year.

Instead my friend was successful. They just said right now she was a better fit, was more qualified. Which doesn’t make sense because I know that she isn’t. Her job is effectively collecting payments and receipts. while it is linked to my role, it isn’t the same as
her job and they will need to spent time training her. My current job and the new job would have been near identical roles. Meaning I could have hit the ground running.

Everyone was singing her praises because it seemed like much of what she said was all about how great I (as in me..) am at the job, and how much I (as in me) needed the job…

I feel really envious and almost like I’ve had the rug swept out from underneath of me and a really good opportunity taken from me. Though I know next year a job may be available, I don’t know if I would now accept it as effectively my friend would be senior to me and managing me.

Am I being unreasonable to be upset?
How do I handle the friendship from here as I feel so green faced. Is this even the real friendship that I thought it was?

You've just posted this twice from your Zone 2 profile. Did you mean to post it from your Surreygirl one?

And you know this how?

Did you mean to post as @SirChenjins or as your nom de plum @TokidokiBarbie

Reread both
see the typo i corrected . It’s kind of significant

Because of how interviews work. They ask questions, you answer, they write it down, they score you after. They don't end interviews before the interviewee has finished or because they've already decided who they're going to give the job to.

Having gone back and read the thread properly, I actually agree with the majority of posters that OPs friend was in the wrong. Apologies for my truculence and I hope Zone2 will come around and see the light too.

They don't end interviews before the interviewee has finished. I think you’ll find they do
if a candidate has evidently finished early the interview will end, no one will remain to pad out allotted time

You what? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That's what I said...

Hey hey @surreygirI1987 you can’t argue with me, I you after all. You’ll disrupt the space time continuum if you argue with yourself. We will end up meeting on same thread and combust

Not a great sign though is it, ending the interview early?! Especially when they let her friend's interview run on for much longer than the allotted time. Clearly they didn't feel much of a rapport with the OP, or she wasn't quite as suited for the job as she believes. Sound like OP wasn't getting this job anyway, so her friend interviewing for it is sort of a non issue.

Day 23 in the Big Mumsnet house.

@Zone2NorthLondon is still arguing with themself @surreygirI1987 and George is doing his cat impression again.

Not at all - I’ve interviewed people before whose interviews haven’t taken the full allocated time as it’s been clear from very early on that they are the preferred candidate. Obviously in this case the friend was the preferred candidate, but a longer interview certainly doesn’t always mean someone is going to get the job.

The bickering on this thread 🙄

@TwoSheetstothewind56 are you saying stuff into the mirror in a davina type stilted delivery

just a point of note women vigorously discussing toics isn’t bickering, it isn’t bitching. Don’t demean women online as mere bickering @Tamworthian

The one-hour slot isn't a goal. It's just the maximum time they think people might need to answer the questions fully. IMO an interview that runs over is just as bad or maybe worse because it indicates the candidate struggles to be concise or answer the question. But in this case, the candidate was having off-topic conversation with the panel, so she wasn't being scored on it. Overall, her answers must have been better than the OP's, but that doesn't mean the OP's answers were bad.

No demeaning needed.

Nah, @Tamworthian is right, the bickering is strong with this one. Surprised MN haven’t pulled it tbh.

The friend did the better interview and was appointed, op may have better luck next time

I’d be so cross, it’s not like you worked at the same place and weee up against promotion she applied for a job that you were going to and she only heard about it through you. She’s out for herself I’d be cutting this person loose.

No one is denying the friend did the better interview. But it's still ok for the OP to be upset. Like the analogy earlier - if you show your friend a house you've put an offer in for, then your friend goes and puts in a better offer and gets the house, there is no way you wouldn't be upset. It's still upsetting to be gazumped, even though it's not technically wrong.

I think the op is so aerated yes she’ll be cutting loose, she will hold a grudge
friend had done nothing wrong but no way to fix this. Best the friend distances herself and enjoys her good luck

Friend has done plenty wrong but yes, best the OP distances herself from her and and decides later whether she wants the role they have for her down the line.