To be grumpy that my friend got the job?

[Champagnesupamother]

After struggling at my current job for about three years (think toxic ‘we’re a family’, lots of pressure to go above and beyond your contractual employed hours for no reward but everyone does it so it’s expected.. low paid etc).

I finally decided enough was enough and I was super lucky to get an interview at another company that is a small start up, ethical and which had less hours. It would have been a 10k pay rise which meant a significant change to my circumstances. I was really excited and keeping all my toes crossed.
I told my best friend who I share pretty much everything with… and then she also applied too.

She ended up interviewing before me. Her interview ran 15 minutes over and though mine was an hour slot too, they wrapped things up at 45 mins to see the next candidate. Though my feedback was really positive and they will offer me a role, it just won’t be until possibly next year.

Instead my friend was successful. They just said right now she was a better fit, was more qualified. Which doesn’t make sense because I know that she isn’t. Her job is effectively collecting payments and receipts. while it is linked to my role, it isn’t the same as
her job and they will need to spent time training her. My current job and the new job would have been near identical roles. Meaning I could have hit the ground running.

Everyone was singing her praises because it seemed like much of what she said was all about how great I (as in me..) am at the job, and how much I (as in me) needed the job…

I feel really envious and almost like I’ve had the rug swept out from underneath of me and a really good opportunity taken from me. Though I know next year a job may be available, I don’t know if I would now accept it as effectively my friend would be senior to me and managing me.

Am I being unreasonable to be upset?
How do I handle the friendship from here as I feel so green faced. Is this even the real friendship that I thought it was?

It’s a very simple question, a simple yes or no would do - I wouldn’t want to attempt an interpretation of your posts.

Where have I told people to ignore you? I think you're becoming a little paranoid! 😂

Sadly I think you are being unreasonable to be upset, though I understand how you feel.

You would not be upset if she had discovered the job on her own. You are annoyed because you told her and then she applied.

But its not reasonable to expect her not to apply, just because you also did.

Its a good example of why we should keep job applications etc close to our chest. I don't tell a soul if I know about an opportunity or apply for something.

If you tell people you risk increasing the competition - and if friends are involved, it leads to situations like this.

Dont be too upset - you did get good feedback and the promise of a role in future.

Chin up - and don't be too hard on your friend.

@TokidokiBarbie well hello there, what have you rocked up to say? More speculation about my character, further observation on what you think I’m like? Because it went so well for you last time

Never going to answer are they? Too busy trying to deflect, it's seriously funny. 😂

i have not deviated from my opinion, I’d apply for any job I want irrespective of who else including friends were interested. So all this yea but, no but, but would you do exactly what she did…it’s goading. Trying to divert and obfuscate to support your own posts

FFS @Zone2NorthLondon you are being deliberately obtuse, my question was

'Would you TELL your best friend that you were applying for the same job that you only knew about because of her?'

With the back story of knowing that she had had a shit time at work for 3 years.

I have never said anything about 'seeking permission'

This post is about whether OP's BF has behaved shittily - yes she has, for doing this in a non-transparent manner from the start. By all means, she can apply for the same job but don't be a cow to your best friend

It was another poster who said to ignore you, and they've already pointed that out. But you seem too proud to admit it. 😂

If I had to guess I'd say you have a pretty low level job and this is all delusions of grandeur about being a ruthless businesswoman who steps on anybody in her way to achieve her single minded goals. More likely you're just attaching paperclips and stapling, hence your bitterness.

My mate's brother is like this. Low level cold calling job but speak to him in the pub and it's like he's a ruthless salesman closing deals and winning over customers (as opposed to begging for meetings for the real salesman to go and sell). 😂

That's not even what I asked or mentioned! Oh my god 😂

Exactly my point earlier be unfront then and rell the other person thst, dont be snide and go behind soneones back thats just wrong.

Still missing the point of the original post, though. I'm finding your lack of comprehension disconcerting.

She's an untrustworthy person who has brought negativity into your life.
Ditch her in a firm but positive manner and move on.
The right job is out there for you,everything happens for a reason.
You have a big plus coming your way to look forward to 🌻

Yes as I said before if they know or have been told about it

Disconcerting you say? Oh well

No I taught my kids to be fair and honest and not to fuck anyone over to get what they want

It's a win in my book who would want a friend like that

Still missing the point of the original post, though. I'm finding your lack of comprehension disconcerting.

But she's absolutely not missing the point. She gets it, as do I. But she disagrees, as do I.

did you teach your kids to stand aside and forgo what they want to please someone else?
i will not instruct my children to forgo a legitimate pursuit in case a friend is offended or put out

I was being polite. You may or may not be able to guess what I really think of you. I'm sure you don't care either way!

No, that was aimed at me 😂 Neither obfuscation nor a diversionary tactic, just trying to help out of the hole in that corner you’ve dug yourself yourself when you put a penny in your very active imagination and asserted you would have no hesitation in doing something that bears no resemblance to the OP.

The knots that some posters will tie themselves up into in order to cry YABU is both fascinating and hilarious to watch 😂

*Sadly I think you are being unreasonable to be upset, though I understand how you feel.

You would not be upset if she had discovered the job on her own. You are annoyed because you told her and then she applied.

But its not reasonable to expect her not to apply, just because you also did.*

@newsaint I fully agree.

the fake mirth 😂posters use to disguise their provocative goady posts is interesting too

The knots that some posters will tie themselves up into in order to cry YABU is both fascinating and hilarious to watch 😂

Interesting. I don't see any knots. I see an opinion being expressed sensibly and coherently, and people trying to find excuses to laugh at her because they don't agree.

the fake mirth 😂posters use to disguise their provocative goady posts is interesting too

I was actually just thinking that.

Oh it's not fake trust me 😂