To think you can be single and happy for life

[Newsinglemum58]

I so want to believe this…. But, can you?…

So far so good (12 and a half years in).

Can't say for definite that I'll be happy for life, but I'm going to give it a damn good try!

I think if you make an active choice to remain single, and have lots of friends and a good social life, then yes you probably can. I thit would be hard to be happy single if you really wanted to be in a ltr.

Of course you can (as far as anyone can be happy for life).

But not everyone can. You can only be happy single, if you WANT to be single. If you don't want to be single, it's unlikely being single will lead to a lifetime of happiness.

7 years in and i have absolutely no desire to share my house bed finances or decisions with anyone ever again.

Yep, know two. One 66 the other 72. Happiest people I know.

Single 13 yrs, so yes you can be happy.

Personally, no. I can make a decent life alone but I have an innate sense of needing to be with another human being.

I think it’s natural to need community, friendship, physical affection, sex etc, but whether you find those things in a partner or in other relationships I don’t think it matters. And it’s unrealistic and a lot of pressure to find all those things in one person. So no reason why you can’t be happy without a partner.

Do you only ever hug your partner? I get plenty of hugs. From my children, friends and even a couple of my colleagues.

I absolutely believe this with all my heart. Some people just don't need a partner and if they want love and communication they just need good friends or other family around them. We don't all need a constant partner although I do think it's the ideal arrangement for parents when the children are dependent.

I think there are some people who can, yes.

7.5 years in, still happy. Honestly don’t know where I’d find the time to faff around dating.

Yes.

I'm 27 and have always been single. I couldn't be happier. I love my life.

There's a very good reason why the most content demographic and the demographic that live longest are married men and single (child-free) women.

No. But people will convince themselves they can because the alternative is much more upsetting.

I definitely think that some people can. I can't however the odds are that surely some people must be genuinely happy not being in a relationship.

I think it depends. Women who were in abusive marriages probably feel much happier once they escape and are single again.
But if you married your soulmate and the love of your life, and he dies young, then no, you can never feel happier being single, because you know exactly what you are missing.
I still grieve my DH. I’ve been single for thirty years, since he died, and I know I will never again feel the carefree joy, love and happiness I had with him.

If you're asking this question then, for you, the answer is no.

All I need is the music I love and I can live in a pure natural happy state for life as I have been doing for many years already. Its the one thing I know I could not live without.

Being in a relationship is definitely much more upsetting.

l think its very easy to think the grass is greener re relationships when you find yourself alone. But if you focus on yourself instead of continuously trying to find someone else, you become comfortable with it and in alot of cases you find after a while you don' t want to go back to that way of life again.
Just be open to making whatever life stage your at work for you, be open to meeting new people, making new friends, see what life throws your way.

Was talking about this to my BIL who's just come out of an unhappy marriage. (Wife cheated). He is unhappy, disillusioned, sad, distressed and wants to do nothing more than find another woman. Why? I just want to cuddle. Not even about sex but someone to cuddle up with.

I pointed out that other human beings are more than someone to cuddle. You have to share everything with them, accommodate their needs, give up your own space and freedom. Yes, you may be lucky and find the perfect woman, but equally end up with a shit relationship

You can cuddle a friend, but the joy of your own tidy, perfect space. Sleeping alone and not with a snorer/fidgeter/moaner. Eating when you want, going where you want, no one to answer to, no one to clear up after, take off in your car with your boat for some fishing. Etc etc. By the time I'd finished he was a sold as me.

My cousin visited me recently - hadn't seen him for years. He is about 60. Single since his marriage (no children) broke down in his late 20s. I think he was the happiest most cheerful person I have ever met. He has his job, his dogs, loads of friends. was in a bubble with 3 other single friends during the lockdown and it was great for him. I will say he struck me as a very laidback person and he is close to his family and has a very good circle of friends.

Yes of course you can.

Just because someone is in a relationship, doesn’t mean that they’re not alone and that is worse than being single.

Humans are naturally social animals but that doesn’t mean you need to be social in a romantic way.

Having friends and family is just as good but many of them have their own partners, which is why people feel like they should get a partner too.

If you are not happy on your own, you will never be truly happy with a partner.

Once you are happy alone, then it’s up to you whether you go and look for a partner or just wait until one finds you. But you may decide that you don’t ever want a partner and that’s fine too.