Why do so many more adult men than adult women still live with their parents?

[Tsort]

Obviously, COVID and CoL have had a severe impact on young people’s ability to leave home, regardless of gender. However, the percentage of young men at home is so much higher. These are the percentages for 2021 (according to Statista), as you’ll see, the difference starts to get quite striking in the mid-20’s.

Age Male Female
34 11% 3%
33 11%. 2%
32 13% 5%
31 14% 6%
30 15% 6%
29 19% 9%
28 25% 12%
27 30% 13%
26 36% 21%
25 43% 25%
24 56% 40%
23 56% 50%
22 65% 54%
21 67% 50%
20 64% 57%
19 81% 76%
18 92% 89%

So, what gives, do you think? Is it the old trope of useless man children who can’t cope on their own? Is it that women more likely to want their independence? Something else?

I’ve got one of each, in their 20s. Boomeranged back after Uni.
The son is more laid back, easier to get on with and does his fair share of household tasks from hovering to laundry. We share a lot of interests.
The daughter is more challenging, is woke in many ways, some of which are hard to compromise on and often forgets to do her share of tasks. So of the two, I’d be keener to see her move out again. Although it’s working out fine for the most part, they’re good company and it’s a big house.
And yes, we all get tired of the comments from judgeypants.

Oh give over.

What is with the victim mentality

@Tsort you can't have a conversation on here about statistics without loads of people getting outraged because in their personal experience it's not what you are suggesting.

Personally I don't know any men between the age of 20 and 30 so therefore I call FAKE on your post. It's definitely not because I literally don't mix with men in those age brackets....

My uncle (45) never left home, (well he did in his 30s and then decided it was too hard so came back) but basically he doesn’t like being by himself and he likes my grandma doing everything for him, she even runs his bath and warms his bed up for him every night and so he has got used to the lifestyle of basically being a ‘kid’ with no responsibility.

These are the kind of people (assuming no disability or SEN) who give a bad name to the many adult children co-habiting and co-operating perfectly well with their parents and sharing the running of the household.

I always remember reading an article many years ago about four men in their 50s who lived with their elderly mum, basically as if they were still children with her doing everything for them. I even remember one of the comments from one son who said "We would do housework if we had to, but it's really women's work".

I think the (usually) mums who enable this are failing as parents as well and, together, they're just really setting them(selves) up for an enormous fall. If you're completely incapable of living independently as an adult in your 50s (through laziness, not with genuine reason), with an 85yo mum, what do you expect to happen when you're in your 60s and she has died?

@ChiefWiggumsBoy 🤣🤣🤣

I remember when it wasn’t like this. I feel like five years ago this would have had more people who actually engaged with what was being asked and fewer ‘how dare you ATTACK AND JUDGE the menfolk?!’

I’m not sure what happened.

I know a man who lives with his mother - she's in her 80s, and broke her ankle during lockdown, so she moved into his home,because she couldn't manage alone.

Probably many different reasons but from my thoughts:

Judging by the number of very difficult relationships women have with their mothers, I'd imagine the motivation to fly the nest can be higher for some women. My MIL is as toxic as hell. Speaking to my wife, her brother was treated like royalty and had everything done for him. Typically for our era, he was allowed girlfriends to stay over. She was never allowed. She had the lion's share of chores to do as it was women's work. Even now, my wife can't do anything right so was no wonder she moved out at 18.

Although BIL moved out to go to university and never returned. I also moved out at 17 and never returned.

If I hadn’t moved out of my parents’ home my parents would have expected me to become their carer because I was a woman.

The ones I have known have gone back to their parents home after relationship or marriage breakdown as they can't afford to pay for their own accommodation. The women with the children has stayed in the marital home.

It makes sense to them to go back home and be able to save up for rent or house deposit rather than renting a room for a fortune and not having space for children when they stay over.
.
The part of the country I'm form has masses of poverty and deprivation with families in temporary accommodation. A single man wouldn't get any help with housing from the council unless he was a single father. Most of the women I went to school with only moved out when they had children and got housed by the council. Hardly anyone moved out by going to uni. The other men and women stayed at home and saved for deposits for rent/mortgage and some were carers for parents or grandparents.

Young men don't tend to keep the kids therefore not entitled to housing would play quite a big part
For example my brother ended up back home when his long term relationship filed , he hd council place but his ex kept that as she also hd kids
My db hd to move to parents as he paid for his children and that left him with not enough to save for rent etc , especially when first split as he continued to pay for bills and subscriptions they were tied into

I think its more to do that daughters can't live with their mothers and sons get an easy time.

I think there could be lots of varying reasons. I do think the single mum factor will make up for quite a big percentage in almost all age brackets, whilst many of the fathers are at home with parents etc. Also are there more males than females in the country could this possibly make a difference in the statistics?

I live at home with my parents as do a two male former coworkers. I live with them to help out, my one coworker cant afford to live alone and the 3rd is also in a helping situation. Alot of younger people cant afford to live alone or are moving home to care for parents.

@jennyofthenorth The reasons young people live at home for longer periods are acknowledged in the OP. THE question is ‘why so many more men than women’?

That does sound quite appealing!

To the people bringing up cost of living - that doesn't explain the percentages skewed towards men staying at home, quite the opposite, given that men (on average) earn more.

This is so true. The very idea of living with my mum makes me break out in a cold sweat.

I think mothers may be more keen to hold onto their sons than their daughters because of the the general stereotype that in the long term, daughters are better at staying in touch with their parents whereas once men get married they are less likely to keep up a close relationship with their mum.

I don't necessarily agree with this, but if you look at the number of threads around gender disappointment when women are pregnant there are a lot of beliefs about having a daughter vs a son.

Again with the stereotypes but there is something in that girls and women tend to be more independent at younger ages (it starts in early childhood when girls tend to be developmentally ahead of boys, do better in exams earlier than boys, grow physically sooner than boys in adolescence etc) and so are possibly more likely to prize having freedom and independence in their 20s while men are still completing their adolescence (which lasts until about 25 according to WHO and other definitions)

Because women are more capable

In my case my 25 year old son lives with his father because housing costs mean he he is better off saving -house is paid for so no rent cost s and he and his father share bills so works fine for them for now. Not all 30 Something men are living with their mothers being treated like little princes…

Interesting. Women mask it better than men. This can be stressful for them. Does this also mean that the masking helps women to move out?

Oops wrong quote. This is the one I meant. Much more relevant

Because they are pathetic babies
Mummys house is a stepping stone until they find a shmuck/wife to replace mummy

And even if these men divorce at 50, its ok he can move back to mummy's house no judgment, mummy also made a shrine of his childhood bedroom and she will provide free childcare, laundry service and dinners every night
Pathetic
I dont know any women who would move back to their parents house and if they do its for a short duration
I have a male relative who would call himself a carer to my grandma
Except he doest even make her a cup of tea, he lives in her house for free, keeps all his earnings, doesnt clean or cook and leaves all work to the females of the family, who run errands for him to
This guys in his 30s
Its disgusting

Yes its disgusting how some women raise their sons so badly. After all, how else do they turn out like this ? Because of poor parenting by some women.

Men have access to much more varied employment choices and therefore what little employment there is in regions is more likely to be suited to men, whereas women have to move to bigger population areas to get decent options?

Aren’t women much, much more likely to be carers for their elderly/disabled parents than men? And often manage to do it while living apart and alongside a whole other household?