How bad is it not to see my nephews who’s dad abondened them ?

[ShareLove]

So basically , my brother has 2 kids with his ex girlfriend and he doesn’t have anything to do with them , hasn’t over few years ! He’s a waster .
i keep in touch sometimes with the kids mum and talk on internet . How bad is it for me not to bother with them because even his dad doesn’t bother . Should i still see them? Well we are not close anymore . Do I still have responsibility to keep them in my life or should I just not bother? My brother doesn’t want our family to have anything to do with them and his ex gf family and kids .

Don’t you want to know your nephews and to have a relationship with them?

My ex is absent none of his family See the kids either, I do think it’s a bit rubbish they don’t bother tbh. So yes I do think it’s bad.

They're probably better off without all of your family, tbh. Imagine asking the Internet if you should "bother"? 🤦‍♀️

Depends if ex is hppy to have you in their lives! My bro ex was not. She made it v difficult and whilst it was sad nothing would change her mind.

I do think it's a bit crap - I have 7 brothers and sisters and only know 2 of them. They're a lot older than me but is that an excuse? I don't know over half of my family because they all dislike each other.

It's up to you. Do you want a relationship with them and how receptive is their mum to you having a relationship?

If its all a bit lacklustre on both sides then you could step back but keep the lines of communication open with a card/small gift at Christmas, Easter, and birthdays so that the door is open for them to contact you when they're older if they want to.

If you’re asking the internet if you should
bother with them, please just leave them alone. Poor kids

If I could like this I would.

Just because your brothers a waste of space loser doesn’t mean you and the rest of your family have to be aswell.

Although they’re probably better off with you tbf if you need to ask whether or not you should bother 🤨

Wow! DD’s dad abandoned DD but thankfully his parents, sister nephews and nieces didn’t and always made her feel welcome.

You clearly resent making the minimal effort you make now, so you disappearing altogether wouldn’t make much difference. However, why didn’t you make more of an effort in the past?

So…. You’re using your brothers reprehensible behaviour to justify yours?
Nice

They're better off without any of you tbh

Hey guys ! The reason I make so little effort is because my brother falls out with me when he finds out I have been seeing his kids and his ex gf family ! We have arguments and it’s stressing me out ! I don’t want to fall out with him all the time !

If you dont genuinely love them dont bother. No child needs someone in their life that resents spending time with them.

I am closest to my niece who my brother abandoned and she has a very close relationship with ds too. I developed a friendship with my ex-SIL and consider them family. Closer to them than my feckless brother.

@Johnnysgirl is spot on! You sound like a family of wasters.

So your brother is adult enough to make kids but not adult enough to care about them? I think I'd be cutting him out and keeping the nephews in if it was me! He's not a decent person is he.

Agreed with PP. They don’t need people like you in their lives. Leave them alone and stop kidding yourself that you give a shit. You don’t.

Let me ask you this, @ShareLove .

If you died tomorrow, would you want your family to stay in touch with your kids? Or would you expect their father to raise them alone and your family not to bother, because you are not around anymore?

i make effort to see my ex step child because i want to and i miss them because i didn't want to walk out of their life forever just because i split up with their dad.

it's up to you but it's obviously not keeping you awake at night as to whether you should see them or not.

If your brother falls out with you for keeping in touch with his kids, then he is an even bigger knob than you are giving him credit for.

And I’m beginning to wonder if you are any better. You are already in their lives and now you want to withdraw leaving them feeling even more confused or upset?

Aye so.

So? Let your brother be upset. Surely the feelings of someone who abandoned his children should come above those of the innocent children?

I have nothing to do with my brother but have a very close relationship with his ex and the 2 kids who are now adults.

They and me really value the relationship.

My thoughts entirely. I imagine the kids are better off!

Your whole family is shit. So yes, they're probably better off without you

In your position, I would 'bother' with my nephews and I wouldn't bother with my brother. If he didn't speak to me as a result, my only reaction would be 'good riddance'.