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AIBU?

Child lost school item, school blaming me...?

190 replies

maiafawnly · 13/09/2022 17:12

Before the summer holiday, my 14 year old participated in an event for a competition where a group of student designed balloons which were sent into "space". On the balloons were recording devices logging the altitude the balloon reached and views from their balloon. The data was recorded onto a micro SD card. The data was to be analysed at the start of this term to then be submitted to the hosts of the competition.

The SD card was given to my 14 year old last day of term, and hes lost it. Micro sd cards are so small that finding it is a nigh on impossible task, and we've looked everywhere but cannot find it.

Obviously this is my childs fault, hes misplaced it, but school have called, 3 separate teachers infact have called, asking me what i intend to do about it...? What can i do? I didn't know he was being given the SD card or asked to bare any responsibility of keeping it safe for 7 weeks! And even if i had been asked, theres nothing i can do now its lost, i cant magically recreate data and images of the balloon. And tbh i think the school/teachers involved in the competition have been a bit irresponsible handing a micro sd card of data to a kid if thats the only place its stored and irretrievable if lost.

Aibu to simply ignore any further communication regarding this and have absolutely no consequences for my child at home? I dont think this is a punishable offence, my child made an accidental mistake over misplacing something he should never have been solely responsible for if it was that important?

OP posts:
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Ponderingwindow · 13/09/2022 21:55

I would expect my child
to go through her room meticulously to search for the sd card. I would take a pass if she didn’t succeed.

our school would just add the cost to our school account, the same as if a textbook, library book, or any other piece of school property were not returned. Non-payment would eventually mean not graduating. sD cards are also ridiculously cheap at this point, so making this your hill to die on is really not worth it.

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newmum1976 · 13/09/2022 22:24

My 14 year old DD wouldn’t even be safe getting it home without losing it - never mind 7 weeks 😂😂😂

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Whatsthepointofmosquitos · 13/09/2022 22:31

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 13/09/2022 17:14

Tell them you’re going to give them some advice:

Do not give tiny, precious items to children. Also, don’t attach things to balloons.

This

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Duchess379 · 13/09/2022 22:35

I'm a bit annoyed at the 'sending balloons into space' bit tbh. The balloons eventually come down, possibly in a field where wildlife will find them & try & eat it. Owners of horses/ponies will tell of horror stories of their animals eating them & those flipping Chinese lanterns... so, bad form all around from the school

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THISISMYOUTDOORVOICE · 13/09/2022 22:38

Duchess379 · 13/09/2022 22:35

I'm a bit annoyed at the 'sending balloons into space' bit tbh. The balloons eventually come down, possibly in a field where wildlife will find them & try & eat it. Owners of horses/ponies will tell of horror stories of their animals eating them & those flipping Chinese lanterns... so, bad form all around from the school

Well if you read OPs posts you won’t need to be annoyed. She has explained a couple of times what the balloons actually were.

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Duchess379 · 13/09/2022 22:54

I not on MN every day, reading everyone's posts meticulously so I've missed previous posts. Sorry 🙄

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THISISMYOUTDOORVOICE · 13/09/2022 23:08

Duchess379 · 13/09/2022 22:54

I not on MN every day, reading everyone's posts meticulously so I've missed previous posts. Sorry 🙄

If you click on “see all” in the OP, or on any of the OPs posts, you’ll be able to read just their posts without needing to meticulously read everyone else’s.

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Ponderingwindow · 14/09/2022 02:59

Do people really not know about high altitude balloons?

Are those posts legitimate or are they jokes?

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Nat6999 · 14/09/2022 03:32

If he used it on his laptop then the data should be recoverable from there, you just need a new memory card.

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Marvellousmadness · 14/09/2022 04:02

I thought your kid was 4.
But then i reread and saw he was FOURTEEN 🤣

If your 14 cant look after his stuff.. well

That is on him

And if he cant be relied on to keep something safe at fourteen.. well

That's on you😳

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sashh · 14/09/2022 04:23

Before criticizing the school / child / uncle Tom Cobley I want to know what the competition rules were / are?

There could well be a rule that the teachers can't take the SD card or save the data because it is supposed to be the child doing everything.

Also was he just given the sd card, or was it in an envelope with what it was written on the envelope with 'DO NOT LOSE THIS' in big red letters.

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Newmumatlast · 14/09/2022 04:38

ImAvingOops · 13/09/2022 17:17

Yanbu. Three teachers have called? That's bordering on harassment! Not only would I not be doing anything about this at home, I'd not allow school to impose any consequences either. They are absolutely batshit - kids lose stuff, especially tiny little things.
A sternly worded letter to the head might be in order.

I agree

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Newmumatlast · 14/09/2022 04:40

Marvellousmadness · 14/09/2022 04:02

I thought your kid was 4.
But then i reread and saw he was FOURTEEN 🤣

If your 14 cant look after his stuff.. well

That is on him

And if he cant be relied on to keep something safe at fourteen.. well

That's on you😳

How silly. People lose things accidentally at any age. And it isnt the parent's fault automatically if a child loses something - it doesn't necessarily mean they have failed in their parenting ffs. Though it's nice to know that if I misplace my car keys again I can blame my mum.

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Fraine · 14/09/2022 04:51

YANBU at all. Are you and DS’s dad together, OP? Could you give school dad’s number?

I just wonder if they would have behaved in this accusing and almost threatening way to you if you were a man.

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loeweviva · 14/09/2022 05:09

It's probably still in his pocket from when they found the balloon. I feel the teachers frustration, the whole project is ruined and they probably want to come and hunt for the data themselves. You are right though, you can only reassure them that you have helped look and that the card is indeed totally lost. There is not much else you can do other than help your son manage their disappointment and reinforce the importance of responsibility in the future.

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Cognacsoft · 14/09/2022 05:17

People who work with 14 year olds for a living think a 14 year old will keep something safe for 7 weeks!
I despair of teachers sometimes.

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SunThroughTheCloudsAt6am · 14/09/2022 05:58

I would carefully hunt for it all the places it might be (pockets, the washing machine seals/filter etc), then if not found simply quote back to them the policy on items brought into school, with school crossed out and home replacing it -

If it's like my kids, it'll be something about items being named, nothing valuable being sent in, no responsibility taken for loss etc. Because that's the simple fact of it.

I have to keep hold of them sometimes. Often they come in a little case of their own, or I sandwich it in my phone case (or actually in the slot in the phone if possible), or a nice big envelope (not the coin bit of my purse I discovered that has gaps big enough for them to slip out)

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Zonder · 14/09/2022 06:05

We use some equipment that goes home sometimes with children. Firstly we have a template that we send for parents to sign to say they are aware of what it is and what it costs.

Secondly we have insurance for if anything happens.

I would call the head, or email if you can't get hold of him. Tell him you're not happy with three separate teachers hassling you and what on earth do they think you're going to do? Presumably it wasn't sent home in a nice big envelope?

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PotatoHammock · 14/09/2022 06:11

Have these teachers never met a 14yo before?!! I won't even lend out pens, because the kids will have lost them by the end of the lesson!

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PotatoHammock · 14/09/2022 06:14

Newmumatlast · 14/09/2022 04:40

How silly. People lose things accidentally at any age. And it isnt the parent's fault automatically if a child loses something - it doesn't necessarily mean they have failed in their parenting ffs. Though it's nice to know that if I misplace my car keys again I can blame my mum.

I usually blame my husband, but maybe I'll start blaming my mum 🤣🤣🤣

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pollyglot · 14/09/2022 06:18

Utterly ridiculous to expect a kid who is 14, and did not volunteer, to have the job of not losing a tiny object over 7 weeks' vacation. Bloody lazy slope-shouldering teachers not to take responsibility of

  1. backing up the data
  2. taking on the care of the card.
    How unfair to make him the butt of the other kids' anger/disappointment. And then to make veiled threats. Despicable. I would be having VERY strong words.
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Shiningstarr · 14/09/2022 06:27

Absolutely ridiculous to be calling you over this. And to expect a 14 year old to look after a tiny SD Card for all that time?

Also I don't like the threatening tone of 'I hope for your sons sake you find it' or words to that effect. I would have been inclined to ask exactly what that threat meant!

People lose things, even adults do. I lose many many things.

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dcadmamagain · 14/09/2022 06:32

The teacher said “he hopes for your sons sake he finds it”.

id be making a formal complaint about that - it’s a threat and words no teacher should ever say

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Notcreativeatall · 14/09/2022 06:45

Not entirely sure what you are supposed to do - replacing an SD card is one thing- but you can't replace the data anyway- so just ask them what they expect you to do and if its so important why were no copies taken.

Is there any chance he reta
ined /saved the data on his laptop?

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Sswhinesthebest · 14/09/2022 07:01

Skolo · 13/09/2022 18:19

It doesn’t sound like they are blaming you. It sounds like they are trying to enlist your help in finding it. It has probably dawned on them that, rather than relying on a 14yr old, they might have better luck asking you to look for it.

This

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