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AIBU?

Child lost school item, school blaming me...?

190 replies

maiafawnly · 13/09/2022 17:12

Before the summer holiday, my 14 year old participated in an event for a competition where a group of student designed balloons which were sent into "space". On the balloons were recording devices logging the altitude the balloon reached and views from their balloon. The data was recorded onto a micro SD card. The data was to be analysed at the start of this term to then be submitted to the hosts of the competition.

The SD card was given to my 14 year old last day of term, and hes lost it. Micro sd cards are so small that finding it is a nigh on impossible task, and we've looked everywhere but cannot find it.

Obviously this is my childs fault, hes misplaced it, but school have called, 3 separate teachers infact have called, asking me what i intend to do about it...? What can i do? I didn't know he was being given the SD card or asked to bare any responsibility of keeping it safe for 7 weeks! And even if i had been asked, theres nothing i can do now its lost, i cant magically recreate data and images of the balloon. And tbh i think the school/teachers involved in the competition have been a bit irresponsible handing a micro sd card of data to a kid if thats the only place its stored and irretrievable if lost.

Aibu to simply ignore any further communication regarding this and have absolutely no consequences for my child at home? I dont think this is a punishable offence, my child made an accidental mistake over misplacing something he should never have been solely responsible for if it was that important?

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INeverSawAPurpleCow · 13/09/2022 18:39

I'd given them an earful on the damage done to livestock and wildlife by fucking balloons and tell them to do one.

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Peashoots · 13/09/2022 18:41

I think the teachers know they’ve fucked up and and panicking. “For his sake I hope he finds it”-what does that even mean?! Sounds threatening to me.

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newmum1976 · 13/09/2022 18:42

After the rudeness of the last teacher, I wouldn’t be wasting my time looking for
it 😱 what a nasty thing to say.

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Pixiedust1234 · 13/09/2022 18:44

okay op, let's have a think. What sort of clothes would he have worn, ie if he only has two pairs of jeans check the pockets carefully. Same with hoodie etc. Would he have been carrying a bag? Is it in his pencil case? I cant see him taking it out of anything and just leaving it on his desk....so where did he put it to take it home?

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maiafawnly · 13/09/2022 18:47

Pixiedust1234 · 13/09/2022 18:44

okay op, let's have a think. What sort of clothes would he have worn, ie if he only has two pairs of jeans check the pockets carefully. Same with hoodie etc. Would he have been carrying a bag? Is it in his pencil case? I cant see him taking it out of anything and just leaving it on his desk....so where did he put it to take it home?

It was in a plastic wallet thingy when he got it, he took it out and viewed the data and images on his laptop with some school friends on the team first week of the holidays. He thought hed put it in his desk drawer but its not there. And its not in the laptop. I think the most likely answer is he left it on his desk, its been knocked off, and lost.

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cstaff · 13/09/2022 18:49

It sounds like the third teacher that rang you was a little bit threatening asking what you intended to do. What exactly can you do if it doesn't turn up. I think the onus was on them and not to pass it over to a kid over the whole summer. It sounds like they don't want it coming back on them. Have a look again tonight and if it doesn't show up let them figure it out.

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Antarcticant · 13/09/2022 18:50

Possibly not much help but the last time I lost an SD card, I found it by chance three months later in a tray of pens.

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LetMeSpeak · 13/09/2022 18:53

You can’t in one breath say that it’s ok your DS lost the SD card because he’s young but in the next breath say you’re not going to help him deal with it. Yabu for that. You need to help him out in the situation. Leaving him to deal with it alone isn’t far and you validating the teachers argument.

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WeepingSomnambulist · 13/09/2022 18:54

Did he volunteer to take it? Why would they pick him instead of taking it themselves?

What did he do with it when they handed it to him. Surely they put it in an envelope inside it's storage case? Or did they just hand him a tiny card without a storage case?

What did he do with it? Put it in a pencil case? In his bag? All he can do is retrace his steps and see if it is still there.

I think I would have to send an email outlining the stupidity of the teachers. Being clear that this should have been backed up or kept by an adult or kept in a locked drawer in the school rather than given to a randomly selected kid.

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WeepingSomnambulist · 13/09/2022 18:55

Your son could offer to replace the balloon so they can re-run the experiment. Or did the expierment have to be done at the same time country wide?

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user29 · 13/09/2022 18:55

so he was looking after the SD on behalf of the whole group?

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maiafawnly · 13/09/2022 18:56

LetMeSpeak · 13/09/2022 18:53

You can’t in one breath say that it’s ok your DS lost the SD card because he’s young but in the next breath say you’re not going to help him deal with it. Yabu for that. You need to help him out in the situation. Leaving him to deal with it alone isn’t far and you validating the teachers argument.

Hes apologised to the students, and the teacher(s), ive helped him look again after school, im told him he should have been more careful and made sure it was somewhere safe for the summer, but ive been understanding hes upset over the incident. Therefore i wont punish him further by making him pay for a replacement card (not that this has been asked for by any of the teachers) however if he wants to replace it ill support his choice. What else should i do for him?

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Tiani4 · 13/09/2022 18:58

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 13/09/2022 17:14

Tell them you’re going to give them some advice:

Do not give tiny, precious items to children. Also, don’t attach things to balloons.

This!!
They had every opportunity to back up data on it

It is tiny
I wouldn't even trust my adult colleagues with a small SD card let alone a teenager!! It'll be in his pocket and gone through the wash probably half way down you washing machine pipe
Or bottom of his bag

Same way that school say children take in expensive items to school at their own risk - even o teacher ha confiscated if and lost it- them something breaks - and it works both ways!

I would t reply other than to say you gave a tiny thing to a Child at your own risk without backing it up.

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LetMeSpeak · 13/09/2022 18:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

maiafawnly · 13/09/2022 18:59

user29 · 13/09/2022 18:55

so he was looking after the SD on behalf of the whole group?

He was given it, he said he didnt volunteer another girl was supposed to have it but she was absent so it was handed to my son instead. Im not sure why he was selected but i did ask him why he ended up with the card and its just because the girl wasnt there to take it

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carefullycourageous · 13/09/2022 18:59

maiafawnly · 13/09/2022 18:56

Hes apologised to the students, and the teacher(s), ive helped him look again after school, im told him he should have been more careful and made sure it was somewhere safe for the summer, but ive been understanding hes upset over the incident. Therefore i wont punish him further by making him pay for a replacement card (not that this has been asked for by any of the teachers) however if he wants to replace it ill support his choice. What else should i do for him?

You should replace the SD card. I can't understand why you are not doing that. You are putting all the responsibility onto him, whilst also criticising the school for putting all the responsibility on him.

I agree with @LetMeSpeak

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Pixiedust1234 · 13/09/2022 19:00

Wheres the plastic wallety thing? Or did he not put it back in it and its now empty? Did any of his friends take it show their big brother or mum?

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Weirdlynormal · 13/09/2022 19:00

Well at least he’ll be paranoid about this sort of thing in the future.

you can’t undo it OP. You sound sensible about what can be done.

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Weirdlynormal · 13/09/2022 19:01

He should replace it, he was careless

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maiafawnly · 13/09/2022 19:01

WeepingSomnambulist · 13/09/2022 18:55

Your son could offer to replace the balloon so they can re-run the experiment. Or did the expierment have to be done at the same time country wide?

It was an after school club meeting ran by a local engineering company and the comp involved 10 or so schools in the county. Replacing the ballon (more like a blimp than a plastic balloon isnt an option)

Also there was no chance in loosing it, the launch day was postponed several times due to weather and the estimated landing site being too far away. They had to wait for the right weather to track and retrieve it. It wasnt just a helium ballon they let go

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/09/2022 19:02

The staff are idiots for giving this to your son to look after. That last call wording is truly awful - I'd want a call with the Head of Year tomorrow about what they said.

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/09/2022 19:02

Weirdlynormal · 13/09/2022 19:01

He should replace it, he was careless

But surely the actual value is the data which is irreplaceable?

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Elfandshafty · 13/09/2022 19:03

They're not blaming you

Just asking what you're going to do about it

You should be offering to replace the SD card and that will be the end of things

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deflatedbirthday · 13/09/2022 19:04

I'm struggling to understand why they gave it to your DS for him to simply bring it back 6 weeks later? Was he supposed to do something with it over the holidays? If not, it seems like a pointless handover..

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maiafawnly · 13/09/2022 19:05

@carefullycourageous

I havent been asked to replace it ive been asked to locate it. Ive said if my son offered if support his choices but i dont see why i/we/he should. They should have saved the data to a school computer, cloud storage, or made a copy before handing it over to my son. Yes he shouldnt have lost it and should have been more careful. But i dont think he is 100% at fault here. The teachers bare the brunt of the responsibility here

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