To think breastfeeding is a hassle?

[choolaboola]

Apologies in advanced if this is offensive as I know some BF people feel really passionate about it - BUT - can I please ask, why do people breastfeed?

First time pregnancy here - all I read is "my BF baby won't sleep" "I can't leave them down" "I can't go to XYZ months in because Im exclusively BF" etc.

I'm genuinely wondering is it a much harder path to go down? My friends, sisters, mum and MIL have all formula fed and as far as I can see, the outcome is the same. So I'm just wondering what other people's thoughts are?

This has good info in it and is endorsed by Lullaby Trust

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

It's not a big risk. It's risk, yes. But statistically a small one.

Perhaps like preparing formula incorrectly.

Very hard for the first six to eight weeks, then I found it very very very easy and I could eat more. I found bottles much more of a faff

Thank you @Hugasauras for posting the evidence, I love that sheet as it is incredibly realistic and reassuring about the statistics. WHat would be great would be a straight comparison between cot in own room/cot in same room as mother/safe bedsharing with mother. Doesn't seem quite possible to tease that out from these stats but I think it would be interesting.

Also strange that the same people who get in such a lather about risks of bedsharing are also very blase about the benefits of breastfeeding, even though it halves the risk of SIDS.

Have any babies died from incorrectly prepared formula? Obviously I know it is a risk but it is a lot less risky than bedsharing. I don't think it is comparable.

Anyway got to give the baby attention. 😂

Also strange that the same people who get in such a lather about risks of bedsharing are also very blase about the benefits of breastfeeding, even though it halves the risk of SIDs

Yes I always find that interesting, but of course people get up in arms when you point that out!

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen
I think the other factor, is you mention how you worry about everything when they are newborn. This isn't a universal thing, or at least the worry varies in intensity.

There are many things I worry about too much in life, but presumably, newborns never made me anxious. Like you, I thought of animal parents and babies interacting, with no guidelines, internet, etc, just acting on instinct, and thought that maybe we overthink things.

Breastfeeding was very hard to begin with but once established it was a doddle, even when I went back to work full time at 12 weeks, I could express enough to maintain supply. We put her cot, side down, next to the bed, filing the small gap between with a rolled blanket, so I didn’t need to get up to feed her. When she was older she would just help herself without waking me.

No need to sterilise bottles or teats, (breast milk is self sterilising) instant comfort, easy to leave the house with just a nappy and wipes, plenty of sleep for both of us. She was never poorly (remarked upon by our GP) and teething was no issue. As I was expressing as well as breast feeding, others got to help with feeds too.

I do recognise that I was blessed with an easy baby and good sleeper, but how much of that was due to luck, and how much due to parenting, I will never know. I was also blessed with great family support and two lovely health visitors who were experts in breast feeding.

It's probably not exactly the same no.

It was more a nudge to the pp who said they didn't prepare uit correct and accepted the very small risk.

Becuase, factually and statistically, that is what bed sharing is. A very small risk. Particularly if you ensure safe practices.

(I coslept with our second, after being petrified to do so with DD due to overinflated warnings about how cosleeping is basically a sure fire way to murder babies. IOverall, it was DEFINITELY much safer for the baby second time around. With DD I spent half the first year in a dangerous state of bad sleep. I did many dangerous things as a result. Second time around we had a next to be type crib and would be fleixble with bedsharing if required. DH was out the room, I didn't drink or smoke and bedding was kept safe and to a minimum. I BF which, as others point out, also reduce any risk (whether cosleeping or not). I felt happy with the informed risk assessment we made there. Interestingly NHS advice has changed too now and safe cosleeping is not discouraged)

Yes, very rarely there are incidences of formula contamination. Recently in the US and a few years ago in France are the two examples I can think of offhand. In both the US and France there is no official recommendation to use just-boiled water, so most people use room temperature water to prepare formula (in the US even tap water can be used). Nine babies died in the US contamination incident and 128 babies were made ill. Investigations are ongoing as to whether the deaths were directly caused by that outbreak. 35 babies became ill in the French outbreak, none of them died.

It is a known risk that formula powder can become contaminated with everyday bacteria such as e-coli, cronobacter and salmonella and this is particularly a risk for babies under four weeks old. In the US where boiling water is not advised, they do advise ready-to-feed formula for newborns.

@IhateHermioneGranger in short yes.

So formula is a great thing. Life saving in many cases. However, formula companies do not make it out of the goodness of their hearts.

There have been cases all over the world of babies being very sick and dying for incorrectly made formula, unclean water used, watering down due to expense and contamination.

Not that long ago there was a black market trade in baby formula in China because of contamination. People were going to HK with suitcases to buy as much Australian / European produced formula as they could. We saw the signs in the shops limiting how much 1 person could buy.

Nestlee are being boycotted at the moment by many people due to poor practices surrounding baby formula.

The vast majority of babies in the UK will be ok with formula not made up per instructions as we have clean water to start with.

I can totally see though how maternal anxiety around that would put people off bottle feeding though. Just like maternal anxiety can put women off breastfeeding because you don't know how much they've had.

To be fair I was coming from the point of view of babies dying in the western world. Obviously I am aware of Nestle.

I am far to lazy to wash bottles and far to disorganised to have formula in all the time and remember to bring the stuff 😂 go to take my boobs everywhere anyway

DC1 was a pain in the arse, couldn't leave her, needed feeding all the time, shitty shorty sleeper.

DC2 I can leave just fine, not all day when he was under 1 but for several hours sure, sleep is pretty good.

D1 continues to be more work than other kids and she's no longer BFing and having spoken to MANY people and professionals we put it down to it's just how she is. The idea of having to have bottle fed her through her baby hood is exhausting.

Haven't RTFT.

For me:
I felt strongly that I wanted to BF for all the well documented reasons.

I was returning to work and felt that BF was the one thing that only I could do and it would help strengthen our bond. To reconnect in such a physical way became very important to me, and also helped cope with the night wakings (which increased when I returned to work).

I didn't have to worry about forgetting things when out and about. As long as I had my boobs, I was able to sort out anything else.

I never FF, but do have the feeling that BF (once established) was far less hassle, especially during the night. I co-slept so just had to roll over and BF, barely awake.

Breast milk is magic - it helped clear up sticky eyes, small scratches.

Most of my peers and family BF so I felt fully supported.

Many people actively choose to bedshare whereas I did attempt twice to try to breastfeed. It didn't work out. Such is life. Baby won't die from the lack of breast milk. Also the benefits of the lower risk of breast cancer in my case would be cancelled out by the extensive fertility treatment which increases the risk!

Very fair point!! I guess this was and is what guides me as a parent - I listen to what my instincts are telling me about my babies and what they and I need. Being a librarian I then also research to make sure I'm not wrong! 😆But by and large the things that make me most anxious tend to be the things that take me away from those natural instincts, and for the most part doing what 'feels' right has been in accordance with the evidence. So for e.g. when my 2nd wouldn't feed from the breast, it felt bloody fantastic to feed her formula because she was starving and then she was fed, which every instinct in me was screaming at me she needed. So it's not an appeal to 'nature above all else' (unmediated nature has a pretty catastrophic wastage rate for human babies!). But to follow the instincts we have as mothers to protect and care, and to follow the baby's instinct to seek closeness and bond to us in every way possible, seems like the most logical, least stressful and least risky way to go in most cases.

Yes massively
But so is a lot of parenting

This. It was pretty easy.

Also my dd was never sick and completed school at the top of her class. So I didn’t see any benefits of breast feeding.

Honestly?
The biggest factor in it for me was convenience!
We are a bedsharing family, so no getting up in the night - just flop a Boob out, and job done.
No washing or sterilising bottles.
No packing all the feeding stuff when going out and then being stuck if I forgot something - can’t forget my boobs at home 🤷🏻‍♀️😂
No paying for formula or bottles or sterilising equipment.
And it became the most effective tool in my parenting Arsenal when we entered the toddler years. If the toddler is hurt, upset, tired etc, a boob became the most effective solution to all of those things.
Don’t get me wrong, getting started was hard all 3 times. As much as people say it’s the most natural thing in the world….it’s really not. It’s a skill that you and your baby both have to learn. Once you’ve passed the initial hurdles though, I found it easy. Until the point arrived to stop. Weaning a toddler off the boob can also be really challenging!

Well this is just it. Statistics are there to guide our overall approach, and then individual experience and real life gets in the way! The important thing is that babies are healthy and safe and loved (and mothers, actually!). We all get there our own way but most of us get there. I think making peace with that is harder for some than for others.

I think experience helps, and i don't think anyone on their second baby isn't a ton more relaxed and confident about their choices, and indeed those things where choice doesn't come into it. I was brokenhearted when I had to have an EMCS with my first baby; when my planned VBAC with baby 2 started going the same way as the first, it was a much much easier decision to let that dream go and do what was easiest and safest for me and my baby.

I feel like we've both got a bit onto our high horses here actually, it's easily done when talking parenting choices as it's so close to our hearts and it's easy to feel attacked. I think we're extremely lucky to live in a modern first world country with access to clean water, formula, free healthcare, reasonable maternity policies, and a wealth of good advice and education to understand how to interpret that advice and tell the good from the bad. We really couldn't be luckier. So people like us arguing over this choice or that choice is utterly daft really, as we both have every opportunity to have healthy, happy, well-looked after babies however we go about it. So sorry! :)

The 9 cases, over 15m, equates to about a 1 in 500,000 chance of it killing a baby. That was during an outbreak. In the uk, the risks are far lower than that.

The risk of sids is 1:1700

Even during an outbreak of contaminated milk, the risk is lower than being struck by lightening.

Formula is really, good really safe

I’d say the opposite in my case. Beginning was a faff (well actually just painful) and cluster feeding (at the time) I thought was a pain. After a couple of months though it was the easiest thing in the world. Flop out a boob, feed, done.

Im pregnant again and actually now really looking forward to cluster feeding eg sitting on the sofa eating chocolate, watching Netflix, completely exempt from childcare duties!

Just a question regarding breastfeeding - why is it everyone 'flops' a boob out?

Love this! Baby reset button 😎😍

Because it sounds funny?

I don't flop one out technically because my boobs aren't the right size and shape for flopping 🙃 whip one out maybe?