To think breastfeeding is a hassle?

[choolaboola]

Apologies in advanced if this is offensive as I know some BF people feel really passionate about it - BUT - can I please ask, why do people breastfeed?

First time pregnancy here - all I read is "my BF baby won't sleep" "I can't leave them down" "I can't go to XYZ months in because Im exclusively BF" etc.

I'm genuinely wondering is it a much harder path to go down? My friends, sisters, mum and MIL have all formula fed and as far as I can see, the outcome is the same. So I'm just wondering what other people's thoughts are?

My baby is breastfed and I can enjoy a few glasses of red. The idea you can’t drink when breastfeeding is a myth.

Plemty of breastfed babies also sleep through the night. Whether they sleep or not is basically down to the baby.

Saggy boobs definitely a possibility but frankly you’ve already done the damage getting pregnant!

The benefits over formula (where there is running clean water and reliable electricity) are minimal. Just as many studies have found benefits to breastfeeding many have also found that these benefits are often exaggerated or the research biased/skewed.

Once I was established, bf was really easy. It took a couple of incredibly tough weeks to get there, but after that - food on tap whether it was needed. They could latch on and I could pretty much sleep while they fed. It was the right way for me to feed my babies.

It's not right for everyone though, and people have to make the right choice for them.

I find it odd to start a post just to diss breast feeding. I would imagine a thread that was started to diss formula feeding would get quite heated. Maybe this one has too. I haven't rtft.

Why is not getting out of bed to feed seen as a bonus of BF? Baby should be in a safe place like cot or moses basket.

OP you do you. I will say that all the comments will mostly be in favour of breastfeeding because their is a stigma to using formula (at least where I live).

Formula saved my life. I was so depressed when I was breastfeeding that I nearly took my own life. Breastfeeding does not just take a physical toll but its also mentally and emotionally draining. If you have lots of support around you it would maybe be easier. Those who say formula feeding is a faff have obviously never truly struggled with breastfeeding

This!

But do whatever you want. It's a very personal choice, and everyone has different experiences. Don't assume that because your family members found it easier to bottle feed that you will.

I prefer to use a flask but it doesn't take long to cool down.

Firstly- a lot of the health benefits of breast feeding are either exaggerated or completely untrue- people don't lie necessarily- it's just that those same people done read good, peer reviewed studies on the matter (with large enough sample sizes). The only proven benefits are:

If done for long enough then BFing reduces the chance of the mother getting breast cancer in the future

Antibody transference from the mother to the baby giving some some increased immunity for a short period.

That's it. Anything else people try to tell you has insubstantial or no peer reviewed scientific evidence behind it.

Secondly, I'm one of those relatively rare people who has done both types, as well as combi feeding.

My first was formula fed almost from the start (I managed to give her my colostrum and then switched to formula). It was honestly great. From day 3 my husband could take turns with the night feeds/shifts and he did so until baby wasn't doing night feeds anymore. A few months later as soon as I wanted to go on a day/evening out without baby I could do so, no issues. My baby also slept through the night from 11 weeks. I didn't find the bottles etc a hassle as I didn't know any different. It really doesn't take very long to make up a bottle.

My second I exclusively breast fed (wanted to give it a go and hadn't been able to with my first for various reasons). It was enjoyable once I got past the first painful period, and it was useful being able to breastfeed him while putting my young toddler down for naps. But my husband couldn't help and he missed out on that bonding experience (he openly said that), I was completely exhausted all the time and when baby was a few months old he refused to take a bottle at all, which can be really common. Interestingly as well my second child didn't sleep through until 14 months.

In summary, you so what works for you. Don't feel under pressure from others to feed your baby in a particular way- there are benefits to both. Genuinely neither is better than the other.

This is true.

Reasons I loved BFing:
the bond it created between me and DDs
its free
no washing up, sterilising and carrying things around
its “on tap”, no planning required
i found it relaxing

I have to agree with this! Is it not against all safe sleep guidelines to just be sleeping while baby feeds on you without even being aware of what they’re doing? Surely you should be awake supervising baby if they’re out of their crib!

also can someone explain to me about this bond?? I feel way more connected and a rush of love with baby when giving a bottle as I’m totally focused on them and they’re looking directly at me and me at them. Baby is feeding currently in sideways rugby pose and I’m on mumsnet as I’ve hands free!!

For me baby was in a sleeping bag in a next to me cot.

Night feeds meant sitting up, picking baby up, feeding, putting baby down.

In the middle of winter it was nice not to have to actually get out of bed to do that

🤦‍♀️ right there a ton of myths about breastfeeding.

How you feed has not impact on whether baby sleeps lots or not

You can drink alcohol while breastfeeding

Saggy boobs are from pregnancy not breastfeeding.

I asked my DH if he feels he missed out by not being able to give DD a bottle. His response was 'nope'.

@Twizbe but how would your DH know if he’s missing out when he never gave a bottle before so doesn’t know what that’s like? My DH was very sad when we moved away from formula as he loved the experience of feeding baby. He gives the two bottles we do give now and it’s lovely for him.

Because the health benefits are better for baby and better for mum

I was a young mother and remember how surprised and delighted midwives and HVs were when I said I was breastfeeding, as it was unusual for younger mothers at the time.
But to be honest, a lot of my motivation was due to laziness. As someone said upthread, tit > gob.

Perhaps I was lucky, but it was no hassle for me. I don't think I could have borne all the faffing about with sterilisers, bottles, etc.
It didn’t stop me going out and about, to festivals, etc.
I didn't have to pack all that equipment, just needed one bag for nappies and changes of clothes.

And it was great actually!
Bonding and natural and convenience, all in one.

I'm lazy so bf suited me much better. Bottle feeding looks like a monumental hassle to me. Having to get up in the night to make up a bottle, all that sterilising, not being able to go out without thinking about how many bottles you might need. Each to their own but that wasn't for me!

I can see how the pros and cons can be different for different people. The anyone being able to feed bottles didn't apply to me as much as it would someone who had the baby's grandparents regularly visit and give bottles for example.

From what I've read it seems there is evidence that breast milk is better but what I'm less convinced of is that it's "better" enough to be worth all the guilt the NHS piles on new mothers about it.

Tried it. Hated it. Couldn’t do it. Put myself through hell for a week. Son was suffering and had dry nappies. I was at breaking point.

Gave him a bottle and never looked back.

He was fed and my mental health steadily improved. It just wasn’t for me and that’s ok.

Its like your body isn’t ever really your own when you’re breastfeeding and after being pregnant for nearly ten months I really wanted my body back! Don’t think that’s too much to ask tbh

Defo not too much to ask. This must just be so personal though, because I remember people on my NCT course saying they "wanted their body back", and I remember talking to younger women before I had kids saying they would never breastfeed because they didn't want to share their boobs, but I have never felt like this, not once in 7.5 total years of breastfeeding plus three pregnancies. I don't really get it. I don't feel like my body isn't mine.

I think it's really interesting the way we experience this thing differently.

You might have missed it in earlier posts of mine.

We combi fed our eldest so he had given bottles to him.

He doesn't feel like he missed any bonding time or anything with our daughter just because she was breastfed.

Absolutely. I didn’t think I would feel that way - I’m not generally hung up over how I look etc, but I really did. I think having difficult pregnancies has something to do with it - you’re going into life with a newborn having already experienced months of pain/fatigue/nausea etc.
I have hyperemesis at the moment and I have never felt so unwell, for so long, in my life - I feel like I’ve been poisoned. Currently vomiting 5 times a day, and up at least once in the night to vomit. Constant nausea, stomach pain from the endless retching.
I don’t know if or when it will ease off, I imagine if it doesn’t then the prospect of DH sharing the feeding responsibilities after the baby is born, to let me get my strength back, will be very appealing. As I said in a previous post, breastfeeding saps my energy and makes me lose weight very quickly, weight I can’t afford as I’m naturally very slim and I’ve already lost 10lb from the vomiting.
Sorry didn’t mean to bang on about vomiting 😂 just trying to explain why it’s not always superficial Barbie mums who ‘want their body back’.

I also never got the ‘nice hormones’ from breastfeeding, I just felt incredibly thirsty and sweaty. It’s like my body just doesn’t ‘enjoy’ the process of pregnancy and bfing! I can see how it’s much more appealing if it does, and I wish that was me.