Im a sahm to 2 dc (13&10). A couple of years ago i happily did all the housework, cleaning, shopping, cooking, laundry, etc as dc were little and dh worked long hours out of the house.
However, since covid dh dh is now wfh most days and the dc are older and more independent (meaning I'm no longer the only one capable of loading/unloading the dishwasher for example.)
But im finding that im getting more and more annoyed at no one helping and I'm starting to really resent no one else pitching in, even when i ask.
And yes, i have tried to talk to them about this. Things improve for 2 or 3 days, then slip back into old habits.
Its lots of little things, but its all built up and I'm ready to explode. I dont want to constantly 'nag'. I ask, i ask, i ask and nothing changes.
To give an example - i put ds clean laundry in his bedroom, all he has to do is put it away in his wardrobe (5 min job). Instead that pile of clean laundry gets thrown on the floor, then buried in dirty laundry, left to fester until i either loose my shit or he sneaks it back into the laundry basket for the whole cycle to continue again. I have spent a week asking him to put it away, it hasnt been done. So as of yesterday i am no longer doing any of his laundry. I refuse.
Does anyone have any tips/coping strategies/advice? Because its all really getting me down.
AIBU?
Housework issues
FunkyDunky · 13/09/2022 10:59
Am I being unreasonable?
73 votes. Final results.
POLLyonce · 13/09/2022 11:04
Is it just your DS not putting laundry away or is it a multitude of other issues? Because tbh that sounds like very normal early teen behaviour!
I think the issue is you're a SAHM who's been doing all of this for 13 years, of course they expect it when it's been the only life your DC have ever known - and probably the only life your DH can remember! Tbh at 10 and 13 your DC are still young.
If you don't want to be doing everything, have you considered getting a job and becoming less available? It would possibly force everyone to step up and give a hand, if they saw you weren't around to do things. Otherwise they won't see any change between you doing all the things you normally do a year ago, and now.
FunkyDunky · 13/09/2022 11:20
@girlmom21 yes, but dh wfh does cause extra mess. E.g. he'll make a sandwich for lunch and doesn't care that hes left crumbs over the countertop, a splodge of jam, a dirty knife not in the dishwasher, whatever. I know it all sounds so fucking petty, but i just feel so unappreciated - ive cleaned the kitchen and he then can't even spend 2 seconds wiping a counter or whatever. And yeah, its just a couple of crumbs and whatever but its millions of little things like this building up over days/weeks/months.
FunkyDunky · 13/09/2022 11:20
@girlmom21 yes, but dh wfh does cause extra mess. E.g. he'll make a sandwich for lunch and doesn't care that hes left crumbs over the countertop, a splodge of jam, a dirty knife not in the dishwasher, whatever. I know it all sounds so fucking petty, but i just feel so unappreciated - ive cleaned the kitchen and he then can't even spend 2 seconds wiping a counter or whatever. And yeah, its just a couple of crumbs and whatever but its millions of little things like this building up over days/weeks/months.
Clingfilm · 13/09/2022 11:25
The plates left on the side - go and fetch the person responsible, ask them to deal with the plate now, your not a waitress, and stand over them while they put them in the dishwasher/wash it. Keep doing that until they finally get the message that you'll be hassling them if they don't do it so they might as well do it the first time. Worked for me.
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