AIBU to think the Royal Family deserve bereavement leave just like every other person in the country?

[Akiddleydiveytoo]

Does anyone else feel a little uneasy about the number of duties and the amount of public appearances the Royal Family (and Charles in particular) are having to go through in the glare of the world's media so soon after the passing of their mother.

The Queen hadn't been dead 24hrs before Charles was at the gates of Buckingham Palace having to shake hands with hundreds of people, with thousands of camera phones shoved in his face, dozens of TV cameras pointed at him and probably hundreds of millions of people watching him around the world.

Since then he's had to record a televised speech, greet all sorts of people at Buckingham Palace, address Parliament walk behind his mother's coffin in a funeral cortege, attend countless ceremonial duties and he's soon to be off on a tour of the 4 nations.

The Queen's other children and Grandchildren have also had to do walk abouts, chat to crowds and have TV cameras thrust in their faces at every opportunity and all when their probably going through the worst time in their lives. I know when I lost my mother, just going to the supermarket to make sure I had enough tea and biscuits for visitors felt overwhelming.

I understand why the Royal Family are doing what they are doing as they were stung badly by the publics reaction to Diana's death so they feel as though it is their duty to be 'seen' to act as a comfort to the country but is it really their job to comfort us when they are the ones who have lost their Mother/Grandmother? Surely it should be the other way around.

In no other job in the UK would an employer expect you to return to work within 24 hours of losing a parent. And it's not even just returning to work - it's returning to work with a massive promotion, many more responsibilities and expectations whilst, the whole time, every move, word and gesture you make is being watched and analysed and broadcast to hundreds of millions of people world wide.

It's inhuman and my heart breaks for the Royal Family (and Charles in particular) every time I see them paraded around for the amusement of the baying crowds.

In no other walk of life would you have crowds cheering and congratulating you on the death of a parent.

I know all of this succession stuff needs to be done but does it really need to be done this week? Can't it wait at least until after the funeral? The country isn't going to fall over if we don't have a RF for 10 days - hell, we've just gone 8 weeks without a government so I think we'll be fine for 10 days without a new King.

In any other job in the country you would be entitled to bereavement leave following the death of a parent grandparent so why does that not apply to the RF. And by bereavement leave I mean no public appearances no official duties, no affairs of state, no 'meeting and greeting', no ceremonial duties - just 10 days of complete privacy for them to mourn the loss of their loved one in their own ways. Everything else can wait.

I'm a bit surprised at the lack of empathy shown in some of the posts so far.

I didn't realise having money and owning palaces and country homes made you immune to experiencing grief.

And yes, we've all had to do difficult things in the days following a loved ones death but you didn't have to do it with thousands of camera phones shoved in your face and your every move and word analysed and broadcast to hundreds of millions of people around the world.

As for this being the way the RF have always done it - when King George VI died barely anyone owned a TV let alone carried a mobile video camera around with them in their pockets. Most people only bought their first TV in the year following the Kings death to watch the Queen's coronation. Comparing the media coverage and scrutiny 70 years ago to today is like comparing a wheelbarrow with a space rocket

That's what monarchy is all about. He's putting the country on steady footing by showing the head of state is always in place. It might feel anachronistic and unnecessary these days, but it's what gives the monarchy it's, strength. The feel of continuation. It's actually made me feel warmer towards them, clearly so sad but putting duty before personal needs.
And maybe having a packed diary keeps him together, having a purpose each day. What a comfort he must take from others showing how much she meant to them. The cards I received when my dad died, saying he was a gentle man and a gentleman still make me cry but make me feel so proud that so many peoole thought highly of him.

Well they can't have it both ways ,they get to lead an extremely privileged life ,with servants at their beck and call ,travel all over the world and meet world leaders
On the flip side they have to live their life in the public eye .

Don't worry they get loads of leave and luxury holidays to boot courtesy of the taxpayer. They'll be fine.

And yes, we've all had to do difficult things in the days following a loved ones death but you didn't have to do it with thousands of camera phones shoved in your face and your every move and word analysed and broadcast to hundreds of millions of people around the world

No but we've had to stay on hold for ages whilst phoning various call centres to sort out our dead relatives financial affairs. We've had to borrow money from family members to pay for the funeral. We've also had to deal with the mundane aspects of our ordinary life whilst grieving like getting the car moted, taking kids to the doctors, cooking and cleaning, going to work etc

Their lives aren't perfect...well, join the club!

Look at Williams face here he looks sad and proud at the same time all those people turning out because his nan has died but his nan has died 💔

Hmm, not really. Most of us when bereaved still have to get on with housework, life admin etc. - the Royals never have to do any of that.

Do they get leave?

A programme I was watching the other night said that the queen had done 400 and something events in a year, not sure what year this was, but that was the average

Thats more than one a day

Yes, hardly parasites sponges like some people often accuse them. A life dedicated to service.

They are well rewarded for it.

@Akiddleydiveytoo but this is not something unique to the RF. When my mum died I was given the grand total of 3 days compassionate leave "according to company policy". Yes its tough, but its not unique and they enjoy lots of privileges in return.

Hmm, not really. Most of us when bereaved still have to get on with housework, life admin...

...posting on Mumsnet...

I was just saying the other day that I hope he takes some time to go to Sandringham or Windsor in a few weeks to decompress.

I've always found the worst part of grief is the bit after the funeral. When all the immediate planning is done, and when the will etc is mostly sorted.

Then it's getting on with life without them. That bit is hard

Would you swap for it?

I wouldnt.

Im exhausted after going down the shops or doing some chores, need frequent sit downs and cups of tea, like going home after work, very private, havent even got social media accounts. I couldnt live their life.

In no other job in the UK would an employer expect you to return to work within 24 hours of losing a parent.

And no normal person would be exempt from paying inheritance tax, yet Charlie won't pay a penny.

It's inhuman and my heart breaks for the Royal Family (and Charles in particular) every time I see them paraded around for the amusement of the baying crowds.

Your heart is not breaking, don't be ridiculous Spare us the meaningless hyperbole. Or if your heart is breaking, call a doctor.

Aren't you a little ready of sunshine? 🙄

Do you take exception to every idiom or just certain ones?

When DS2 died shortly after birth after an incredibly traumatic week, DHs shift allowance gave him three days off, then he had to be back in. He was given the day off for the funeral as unpaid leave, but during his "back to work/absence meeting" was told that he "wasn't himself and he needed to sort it out".

DD1 died (15w) again, after a traumatic few days, she was born at 4pm, DHs boss phoned him at 6pm and asked him to work at 8pm. I still had a canula in.

A huge amount of employers are absolutely shit with regards to bereavement.

I feel hugely sorry for the RF that they're having to meet and greet people and shake hands as a matter of duty and service. I hope they'll have time to grieve privately. In the same breath, their privilege had shielded them from a huge amount of life's awfulness, this seems to be the price they have to pay for that.

I'm sorry but no. If the RF are not going to get out there and be the figureheads, then they can't expect to be paid to be the RF. It is the core job description that they put themselves in the public eye for state events.

Either they are different to us, or they are just like us - they can't have it both ways up.

Eh? Are you saying no one who posts on Mumsnet ever does anything else? Bizarre comment.

I think it's more fucked up that he was separated from his parents for six months when he was a small child and they went off abroad, that he greeted his own mother on her return with a handshake, that he was packed off to boarding school at a young age and didn't see this 'wonderful Mama' for weeks on end, that he was left to struggle at Gordonstoun where he was deeply unhappy. It's been well documented that he feels his childhood was difficult due to his emotionally distant parents.

This part? Well he's 73, older than most people when they lose a parent, and finally in the job for which he's prepared for decades. And as others have said, the life of unbelievable privilege no doubt makes up for a lot of the crappy bits.

No, just idiotic ones that are clearly bullshit. What is there to have a broken heart about.

@eldora

You’re right, he’s he hasn’t had to do any of those normal things. He also hasn’t been able to just be himself for his entire life, he’s been scrutinised since birth. I would live my normal life a hundred times before walking a day in his shoes. His mother was also born into privilege, but it came with very strict terms and conditions and absolutely no choice about future employment, no retirement either. I have nothing but respect for those members of the RF who manage to live within those parameters and continue to put on the show of a lifetime for those of us living every day lives to dissect and make little of on a public forum.

@DayOfTheTentacle

Sorry for your losses