To think detention for lateness is wrong

[BelleMarionette]

My child's secondary school gives a detention for even one lateness in the morning.

My child left an hour early, for what should have been a 30 minute journey door to door by bus.

Unfortunately, 2 buses drove past them without stopping. They got very upset and anxious about being late, so I had to come and drive them (not ideal environmentally, and will not always be possible either, due to work).

My child has autism, so gets extremely anxious about the threat of detention, as rules are very important to them.

Aibu to think that detention in this circumstance is wrong, as it's often out of the child's control?

I suppose if the school know they catch that bus then can it be proven? I'm autistic and would hate to be late to school. I bet they worry it will happen every morning. Could you email school?

Detention for 1 lateness is wrong, I’d expect it after multiple times but not one occasion.

our local bus service is atrocious. Dd waited over an hour for a bus yesterday and their should have been 2 in that time.,

Our school makes allowances for public transport disruptions.

YANBU, are they reasonable once the circumstances are explained?

Is the school so strict that they wouldn't listen to the reason why a student was late? That does seem unfair.

If it's beyond the child's control - ie public transport - then there should never be a punishment for the child.
I would definitely refuse to have my child do the detention.

The thing is though that every child could come up with a reason that they were late and it wasn’t their fault
Our school also does detentions for one lateness (also if they’re late to any classes during the day) and unfortunately as I regularly tell my children sometimes in life you just have to suck it up 🤷🏻‍♀️

This.
honestly I would hate hate hate to be a teacher nowadays and have to deal with this shit.

My kids school give detentions but only after they have been late twice. They also give acceptions when buses are late for don't stop. I would speak to the school as this is unacceptable.

I'd ring school to tell them he was going to be late. At our school that would be enough to stop the detention being issued.

After school or break / lunchtime detention? After school when he needs to use a bus to get to / from school seems overly harsh.

did you / you son call the school before the school start time to say that he would be late and why?

the school I work in will make kids lose a part of their break for lateness, unless they’ve arrived on a late bus (so not their fault) or we’ve had a call before the school bell to say why they are running late.

I would check what your school needs you to do to avoid a detention - if the buses aren’t reliable, they can’t punish the child, that’s rather unfair.

I'd agree about contacting the school.
Ours have to stay outside until the second lesson if they are more than 10 minutes late. What happens is that when inevitable public transport things happen, the student themselves contacts the school and they get permission to come in late.
That said, two buses not stooping is very unfortunate. I'd be questioning my child to see if they'd forgotten to stick their hand out. Were there other people at the stop? Maybe contact the bus company and ask why two buses didn't stop.

DD’s school had a system that they didn’t get a late mark or punishment if school bus was late. It was one reason I forked out £40 a month for school transport.
Are the bus not stopping because the are full or because she’s not visible/not sticking her arm out. If you can if go with her a few mornings.

When I was at school the rule was: 5 minutes late- 30 minute detention, 10 minutes late- 1 hour. I had to catch two buses (about an hour or so commute). Depending on who the receptionist was, they'd either be understanding about it or not

And it has always been that way.

The only leeway at my school was a transport accident or being with teachers on the one bus route that only serviced the school.

I use to have to walk to a further bus stop otherwise you would be told by the school to leave earlier.

I only cared about being punished at school because my parents would find out, (sitting in a room for an hour is not, in itself, particularly bad), so if you undertand why your child's received one then maybe there are better battles to pick. I can see the logic of zero tolerance to stop others taking the piss.

Thank you for the suggestion re contacting the school, I hadn't thought of that.

They said that they did flag down the bus, and there were lots of others at the bus stop too, but it didn't stop. Maybe it was full.

I understand it's a lunchtime detention.

Just 'suck it up' may work for a neurotypical child, but for an autistic child it's a whole different ball game.

I'll ask the senco what can be done to avoid detention in this situation.

What would be the point of detention in this case?

The child has done nothing wrong and had no power to make the buses stop...

OP, I would have pre-empted this by speaking to the school about what happened when you got there.

It teaches a child absolutely nothing if they are punished for something that was completely out of their control.

In fact I always think that if rules are silly/nonsensical you are much less likely to follow them.

I used to leave for school at 0720 every morning, and due to awful public transport and traffic, was late nearly every day. I never got a detention (the school was aware of the transport problems) but my classmates were outraged.

In this circumstance there should be no detention. This used ti happen to me all eh time at that age. The bus being full and driving straight past us at the bus stop. The kid did everything right . Left on time. Called u when the buses refused ti take them.

There should be no punishment for this

Email your child's Head of Year and copy in the Senco. At my school we make allowances for public transport disruption as it is not in the child's control. We also consider children's SEN before putting consequences in place that could be detrimental to them or that they might not understand.

I agree. We live in London and traffic in the mornings can never be predicted. My child also has additional needs and needs to taken to and picked up from school. If we are delayed for any reason it's a 20 minute same day detention. It's hardly her fault if she's late. I don't make a fuss although it pisses me off, because I have to pick my battles, which are many, while trying to support her through a mainstream secondary.

If there's been a problem with transport, it's likely to be several all arriving late - easy to tell its genuine in that case.

The attitude of assuming the worst of all the kids and punishing them for circumstances beyond their control is awful, a really bad lesson in how to treat and manage people.

You’re right sometimes full buses don’t stop

I agree with pp contact the school, I’m sure they’ll make an adjustment so your dc is feeling more ok if it happens again

Well, I wouldn’t personally be allowing this, your child did nothing wrong. Contact the school and hopefully they’ll be reasonable about it once you’ve explained.