To think detention for lateness is wrong

[BelleMarionette]

My child's secondary school gives a detention for even one lateness in the morning.

My child left an hour early, for what should have been a 30 minute journey door to door by bus.

Unfortunately, 2 buses drove past them without stopping. They got very upset and anxious about being late, so I had to come and drive them (not ideal environmentally, and will not always be possible either, due to work).

My child has autism, so gets extremely anxious about the threat of detention, as rules are very important to them.

Aibu to think that detention in this circumstance is wrong, as it's often out of the child's control?

This nearly happened to DC today.
School starts at 9, and it's a 30 minute journey door to door.
They got to the bus stop at 7.35. Bus due 7.45.
Bus didn't turn up. Next bus due 8.05. Turned up at 8.10 with no space. Next bus isn't until 8.35. Thankfully today we were able to organise a lift.

I need to work out what we can do to prove being at the stop in ample time and the fact that the bus didn't arrive/second was too full. There are going to be days when a lift isn't available.
No way am I prepared to have a punishment for something beyond control. Its not at all practical to get the earlier bus (7.25) as the school site isn't open to pupils until 8am.

To me the answer in this age of mobile phones is simple in that the parent rings the school and explains the reason for lateness. Schools are reasonable in these cases.

I understand that we could ring the school. However, it isn't necessarily possible to do so, if we are travelling ourselves/already at work.

I was more concerned about whether they want proof of lateness.

Who said anything about storming in? What a very strange thing to say. Unless that's your way of dealing with school issues?

I would be phoning the school and calmly and civily telling them the facts about the bus, and that I do not, under any circumstances, give permission for my child to be punished for something beyond their control.

The school sounds ott. My dc have a note in their bag, undated, excusing their lateness citing unavoidable circumstances. They are very rarely late but having the note makes them feel more secure and stops them worrying about getting into trouble.

What a pointless and heartless policy. I just have no time for this kind of batshit authoritarianism.

I agree OP. My DC get the bus to school and it's late sometimes. They've never been given a detention and I would be cross if they were.

This is a really good idea.

If it's public or school transport related, and they are not choosing to get the bus that gets them to school with 5 minutes to spare when there is an alternative, then there should be no detention. DS gets a dedicated school bus that is very variable in timing, the school understands the issue.

How old is the DC? I'd get the earlier one if an ongoing issue, 30 minute journey would mean they'd only be waiting outside the gates for 5 minutes?

I think when DC have to rely on public transport to get to school it does need to be factored in. Often transport delays are totally beyond their control, and there really is a limit as to how much 'extra' time they should have to build into getting to and from school. Many leave at around 7am which is ridiculously early.

FWIW, DD has just started at a next school for sixth form. She got a 'late' on her second day and doesn't know why (she was at school with plenty of time to spare). Nothing like cutting 'newbies' a bit of slack.

The school are right to issue detention for lateness. As it does have a huge disruption on school. However if you phone ahead and explain then No there shouldn’t be detention. Schools have to be seen to be fair to all and I do think detention for lateness is a good idea but as I say they need to be flexible with the rule for the genuine. Next time quick call to school should sort it. If not then they are being unreasonable.

Well in any job I've ever worked you wouldn't get a warning for something you couldn't control. There was an accident once on the motorway that closed it for 6 hours.

Many teachers didn't make it to work. They could do nothing but sit there until it cleared.

We just kept calm and carried on. Not one person got a warning for unfortunately being on a motorway when a mile or so shrewd of them a lorry overturned and caught fire. That wasn't anywhere close to being in their control. They were on their way - on time.

And yes. Unfair dismissal.

Take a selfie at the bus stop when they arrive! Time stamped prove

I remember getting 2 detentions when I was late. I was in year 10, I had never been late or had any detentions at all.
A girl was run over. I had to walk to school as the road was blocked off.
I called the school explaining I was going to be late.
I got to school and a teacher was standing in reception, she handed me a late detention slip. Then berated me for having a mobile phone (which I used to remove the battery when I was in school to show no usage) she handed me a detention slip for the next day and confiscated my phone.

I can't believe this is still being done. I used to really struggle with getting to school on time. I had many reasons for this and they were visible in my appearance. A pure behaviour approach is blind.

I love the language. The school puts a kid in detention and it’s ‘batshit authoritarianism’. No it’s trying to teach kids not to be late to prepare them for later life

Ds school do this but I just ring the office and point out his genuinely in town at the bus station waiting for the X bus I can see him on my tracker app and his been waiting since Y time but no busses have come. They seem to understand this plus he already leaves the house at 7am for a school start 8:30 to try and give a bit a leeway for a bus being late but since he has to get a connection it can throw out the whole system. Once because a bloody lorry had parked across the whole road. Watched the connection bus leaving as his was only just pulling in.

It's worse than any workplace I've ever worked in. Everywhere I've worked has been understanding of one off lateness due to transport issues. If it was a known ongoing issue you'd be expected to leave earlier of course.

I’m not saying the school shouldn’t have understanding. I’m just commenting n the language.

I meant that it's not just preparing them for work when it's stricter than most workplaces. That does make it batshit imo.

Because in the real world lateness has consequences. If you were late to work repeatedly, you would be sanctioned.

This namby pamby nonsense about keeping children sheltered from consequences is ridiculous. What do you expect them to do when they get in the real world? Mummy to go in and start complaining to employer about how they are being treated unfairly for being late?

Heartless? Authoritarianism?

Are you this hysterical about all things in life?

If she lives anywhere near us it’s not unsual, the buses often miss our village out completely now as well if the driver is late and there’s only two an hour anyway

As above it's very unlikely that a single child would be late due to a public transport problem. At our school loads of kids go by train and if the trains are screwed up, all the kids coming from the two neighbouring towns are late so it's easy to see it's not a lie (they could even look at the train app to see). I've never known my kids be given a detention in this situation (putting 200 kids in detention would be impossible in any case!)
If you live in a particularly remote place so that you think your child is going to be one of the only ones affected by a transport problem then I agree that a parent ringing to explain the lateness in advance is better than a child turning up late with excuses. Also if it's a one-off then school should be more accepting than a child who is constantly late and obviously needs to plan to catch an earlier train/bus etc.