Say please

[slippe]

I have a two and a half year old..

Some of our relatives have taken to asking her to ' say please ' before they give her water / a cookie / whatever it is.

They then refuse to give her whatever item it is, until she says 'please'. Except, she doesn't really say please. They end up dangling the item and refusing to give it to her. Eventually they sometimes give in. Sometimes she screams and cries. She's quite defiant.

I personally don't withhold items from her until she ' says please '. I remind her that we say please and then I remind her we say thank you. She sometimes complies, sometimes she doesn't.

I think manners are important, but I'm not really enjoying how my relatives are doing it.

Am I too lax or are they a bit ridiculous ?

They learn the good habit first and then the meaning comes.

The vast majority of kids can say pleas and thank you this fine from about 18 months. They don’t pronounce it right, but they can do their own take.

If you are the poster who does speech therapy, you have to remember you see kids who having trouble with speech, not the average.

But why is that better then them learning it once they know what it means?

What satisfaction are you, or any other adult, getting from a baby repeating a word you know they don't understand? Why do you need them to say it? You know they're not being polite, because for it to be polite they'd have to a) understand what it means and b) be choosing to say it (not being forced to say it in order to get what they want), so what value does it hold?

@Luredbyapomegranate - don't be so ridiculous and insulting. A Speech and Language Therapist doesn't need to remember anything. You'd be hard pushed to find a professional who has a greater understanding of 'normal' child development than a Speech and Language Therapist.

@PlattyJubes

In general I’d agree, but apparently not, if that PP is the speech and language therapist (which she might not be.)

I say this as someone who used to teach early years, so my knowledge of the average pre schooler’s speech development capabilities is pretty solid.

Totally agree with this.

She's two for god sake!
At that age I would encourage her to say it and lead by example but you can't refuse to give her something because she won't use the word. How ridiculous. As they get older it gets easier, but there's not bargaining with a two year old!

@Luredbyapomegranate how do you think speech and language therapists make a judgement as to whether a child is delayed? By having a sound understanding of typical childhood development.
But regardless a typical developing child or not my answers would remain the same to this. There is no benefit to the child to parrot back words for the benefit of the adult when they have no understanding of the meaning.
Please refrain from doubting my credentials I have worked in this field for many years and have two children with excellent language abilities AND manners. Because I practice what I preach.

If you are the poster who does speech therapy, you have to remember you see kids who having trouble with speech, not the average.

This made me chuckle for some reason 😄is there an award for dumbest comment of the year? I nominate this one.