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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To notice a growing hatred and intolerance of woman online?

117 replies

foxofthefells · 09/09/2022 16:11

It's mostly in the past 2 years, typically in youtube comments under relatively benign things such as tv drama or film. I am also noticing it more on Amazon reviews when watching Prime tv content.

It's basically a fairly angry dismissal of women in general, so if a female character runs a police team or has an important, respectable role, the comments will often claim it to be 'woke' or 'women worship'. It is as if any respectful characterisation of a woman, especially in positions of power (whether in a career or sexuality) is degrading to men.
Alternatively, if the film or series depicts a troubled or vulnerable woman they remain suspiciously silent.

I have been watching and reading the same stuff over many years on the net, but have only noticed this growing loathing in the past two yrs or so.

More troubling are the comments or reviews of stories that depict crimes against women (Broadchurch, etc), where the content is described as 'pandering to women', 'men hating' or, again (and predictably....'woke'.
So, technically, it seems to be upsetting a lot of men to have to watch justice being done for rape and assault against women.
One crime series I watched recently depicted male members of a comany being held to account for sexual harassment. The comments/reviews for this were full of men complaining that back in the 80's women didn't mind being 'felt up' at work, so what is all the fuss about?

Has anyone else noticed this? I certainly don't look for this type of crap online, but often find it nestled in otherwise innocent places, and it appears to be growing.
I can't get my head around why any man would feel angry that we have to reduce harm and inappropriateness in general. Who are these cretins? Are they just baiting for a fight? Most of them seem genuinely upset that they can't enjoy the degradation of females in media anymore. It's a bit grim.
How many of them are there, and is this likely to become worse?

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 10/09/2022 10:12

Just this week we have a woman going to court because she is not allowed to attend a rape crisis group that is exclusively for women. Men have to be allowed in everywhere.
The women only pond on Hampstead Heath is now mixed sex. The Men Only pond is still single sex and there is a third, mixed sex pond is available for anyone. Yet women protesting about this were abused and silenced by other women. Personally, I feel more betrayed by the hand maidens.

SerendipityJane · 10/09/2022 10:19

Online world mirrors real world shock.

Weather to follow.

BoviTraci · 10/09/2022 10:22

endofthelinefinally · 10/09/2022 10:12

Just this week we have a woman going to court because she is not allowed to attend a rape crisis group that is exclusively for women. Men have to be allowed in everywhere.
The women only pond on Hampstead Heath is now mixed sex. The Men Only pond is still single sex and there is a third, mixed sex pond is available for anyone. Yet women protesting about this were abused and silenced by other women. Personally, I feel more betrayed by the hand maidens.

I remember reading some time ago in the DM that men were outraged when some women decided they were going to use their Men only pond too . They identified as men apparently. The men were not happy

BoviTraci · 10/09/2022 10:23

tootiredtobother · 10/09/2022 10:11

its the Red Pill men, go look them up, truly terrifying

Any Red Pill websites still about ? A lot seem to have been taken down .

Happycamper2022 · 10/09/2022 10:25

endofthelinefinally · 10/09/2022 10:12

Just this week we have a woman going to court because she is not allowed to attend a rape crisis group that is exclusively for women. Men have to be allowed in everywhere.
The women only pond on Hampstead Heath is now mixed sex. The Men Only pond is still single sex and there is a third, mixed sex pond is available for anyone. Yet women protesting about this were abused and silenced by other women. Personally, I feel more betrayed by the hand maidens.

I feel more betrayed with the hand maidens i know socially too

Once they have a ring on their finger and a DC it seems like her husband is different (hes not), shes a unicorn smart woman because shes been able to pick better (she hasnt) and all other woman who are or have in the past been subject to male behaviour is victim blamed.

User135644 · 10/09/2022 11:11

The treatment of Meghan is worse than i've ever seen of a public figure who hasn't actually committed a crime. Nonce Andrew doesn't get it half as much.

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 12:44

@YouAreNotBatman your post itself is pretty sexist
You have just grouped all men together
There are some pretty hateful women on social media too , sm in general can be pretty horrible as people hide behind a screen

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 12:46

There are lots of lots of hateful and not nice comments made by women online too
In general lots of sm is filled with it by both genders

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 12:48

@MoistBandana what about women that associate with these men or other hateful women, ? Does it not apply to them as well

YouAreNotBatman · 10/09/2022 12:50

@worriedatthistime

Okey.

And do these women go aroung harrassing, killing, raping people?
How are they an actual threath to the society?
Are they actually women? A lot of men are larping as women online…

I understand people like you have to work hard to protect male fragility, but I’m not interested.

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 13:23

@YouAreNotBatman you were talking about online ? And also yes if people enable that doesn't help
Not all men go around doing these things either despite what some are saying
The fact you will no listen says it all really
Only your view counts
Womens crime seems to be going up as well

porridgecake · 10/09/2022 13:48

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 13:23

@YouAreNotBatman you were talking about online ? And also yes if people enable that doesn't help
Not all men go around doing these things either despite what some are saying
The fact you will no listen says it all really
Only your view counts
Womens crime seems to be going up as well

Yes! The level of rape and sexual assault committed by women has rocketed in recent years. Oh wait...

FreddyHG · 10/09/2022 14:39

porridgecake · 10/09/2022 13:48

Yes! The level of rape and sexual assault committed by women has rocketed in recent years. Oh wait...

Rape can only be committed by men as a penis is included in the law. So this is disingenuous and a pointless statistic. Women cannot rape no matter how a man is violated by a woman it cannot be rape.

porridgecake · 10/09/2022 14:44

FreddyHG · 10/09/2022 14:39

Rape can only be committed by men as a penis is included in the law. So this is disingenuous and a pointless statistic. Women cannot rape no matter how a man is violated by a woman it cannot be rape.

Exactly. I know perfectly well that only a person with a penis can commit rape and that the vast, majority of sexual crimes are committed by people with penises.
Imagine how Maria MacLachlan felt when she was forced by the judge, in court, to refer to the male who assaulted her as "she" and "her".

Kanaloa · 10/09/2022 15:55

FreddyHG · 10/09/2022 14:39

Rape can only be committed by men as a penis is included in the law. So this is disingenuous and a pointless statistic. Women cannot rape no matter how a man is violated by a woman it cannot be rape.

Maybe you could add up all the non penis violations that these women have done and tot it up against all the crimes against women committed by men? I’m sure it’s about the same…

People will literally twist themselves in a pretzel for these men. It used to annoy me most when other women did it but now I just pity them. I always think it’s sad because they think ‘oh I’ll be different. If I stick up for the men and come down in their side they’ll see me as a person like them.’ But they don’t. No more than a racist will see a black person who is useful to them as a person. They might treat you a bit better than someone who is sticking up for their rights, to reward you for your submission as a lesser being, but on a basic level they still do not like or respect you. You’re not worthy of that to them.

midgetastic · 10/09/2022 16:04

The jail population suggests that women commit very few crimes against men compared to those of men to men or women

Just how it is

Doesn't mean all men are evil

Does mean that there is a large statistical difference between men and women ( the traditional kind base on biology )

What's more the causes of this seems to be biology and probably a mixture of nature and nurture

YouAreNotBatman · 10/09/2022 16:08

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 13:23

@YouAreNotBatman you were talking about online ? And also yes if people enable that doesn't help
Not all men go around doing these things either despite what some are saying
The fact you will no listen says it all really
Only your view counts
Womens crime seems to be going up as well

@worriedatthistime

I meant is as, do people now fear women?
Do people worry about their safety around women?
Are or has these women try and take other people’s rights away?
Is there a long history of women oppressing others, being violent, raping?
Is there an actual readon to be scared of women?

YouAreNotBatman · 10/09/2022 16:09

@worriedatthistime

And what does me not listening say actually?
In details, please.

Kanaloa · 10/09/2022 16:14

midgetastic · 10/09/2022 16:04

The jail population suggests that women commit very few crimes against men compared to those of men to men or women

Just how it is

Doesn't mean all men are evil

Does mean that there is a large statistical difference between men and women ( the traditional kind base on biology )

What's more the causes of this seems to be biology and probably a mixture of nature and nurture

Nobody said all men are evil 😬 literally no-one said that. All that was said is that there is a growing tolerance for misogyny online and that women are overwhelmingly more likely to be victims of harassment, abuse, assault, and murder than the perpetrators of any of the above.

midgetastic · 10/09/2022 16:19

No someone was saying that women are as bad as men

And when that is pointed out as incorrect then we usually ge NAKMLT

I was trying to nip that in the bud ( sorry for confusion £

Kanaloa · 10/09/2022 18:22

midgetastic · 10/09/2022 16:19

No someone was saying that women are as bad as men

And when that is pointed out as incorrect then we usually ge NAKMLT

I was trying to nip that in the bud ( sorry for confusion £

Oh okay 😂 I was confused for a moment. I agree with you - I don’t see the relevance of ‘well some women are awful’ as an answer to ‘have you noticed this trend of horrible attitudes about women?’

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 20:06

@midgetastic noone said that but that women can also be awful but someone did say all men , if you read through
But its a fact that women are also pretty horrible to women online, it seems online people can be pretty horrible full stop

be kind wasn't aimed just at men was it

Women violence seems to be on the increase too , and domestic abuse whilst higher against women , men do suffer as well and tend to report even less
So yes statistically men do commit more crimes etc but as society its increasing a lot so we need to look at why
In general the internet seems to bring out the worst in a lot of people

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 20:10

Also online you don't know who is behind a man , a women , a child . The same person with 10 accounts
We all know some men are violent and intolerant of women and it will be these that shout loudest online as often the case
My bil is a twat towards women ( hence we are nc ) but one of the reasons he has no respect is mIL has never stood up to him, said thats not ok etc, shown she disapproves of his behaviour so he has grown up thinking its ok.
I have 2 older teenage boys , I wouldn't allow such talk about women / girls and have brought them up to be respectful

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 20:14

@Kanaloa but if we have rape in law for men should there not be an equivalent charge for women ? Equality has to go booth ways , i would imagine male violence would still be higher by some but doesn't mean its ok to ignore the other way either .You see sometimes women who have had affairs with 15 year olds and they are often not treated in the same way a man would be , thats not fair either as its the same crime

worriedatthistime · 10/09/2022 20:14

** some considerable amount