To worry we gave away 100k of my inheritance!

[howdidIgetthere]

My DH thinks I am, but if I'm right then it's in his interest to say that!

Basically, we were in a pickle buying a house last year. We were consolidating houses with my DF to purchase a big house, and hoped that myself of my DF could be on the mortgage or deeds as a safety due to my DF helping with the deposit.

To cut a long story and identifying details this wasn't possible. Neither of us could be on a plausible mortgage, and the lenders wouldn't like us on the deeds either. But we needed a house. So as I was already engaged, we agreed between us that my DF would 'gift' 100k of inheritance to my DH so that he could solely purchase the house, but we would get married beforehand to safeguard my stake.

So we eloped without telling anyone else, my DF gifted the money and the house was purchased in my DH's name only. We had a proper wedding a few weeks after and all is well. As far as I know, because the house was purchased after marriage, I have a stake in the house should we divorce, and can get some of that value back in lieu of my inheritance/not be left with no money and nowhere to live.

However, since the purchase the house has had extensive renovations and its value is increasing significantly. I have noticed that my DH keeps referring to people that the purchase date was back in the summer, months before our marriage. I know for a fact from the deeds etc that the closing date was not until a month after we were married, when the funds were transferred. Before the marriage, the mortgage may just have been accepted, but zero money had been exchanged.

When I ask him about this he says iabu for questioning him, that yes he bought it before we got married ie he's taking the acceptance of an offer on the house as when he bought it. This is obviously very worrying for me, as if he bought it before we were married or some other loophole then in the case of divorce I have lost most of my inheritance and have no stake on the house!!!

I don't know why he is saying this as at the time he agreed it was the best option so that all parties were happy and protected. I have resisted a marital rights notice on the deeds, but otherwise I am still not on the deeds or the mortgage (I don't have a high enough income). So who is BU? Have we been misled and given away my inheritance, or is my DH wrong and for some reason trying to say something that's incorrect?

"We were told" as in your husband told you that's what the bank / solicitor said?

So absolutely no independent legal or financial advice was taken by your father or you?

This your father needs a charge on the property. If the house is sold he will legally be repaid his £100k after repayment of the mortgage

OP do you have any idea how much mortgage was for? I am also very puzzled that such a high earner struggled to get a mortgage. Are you sure he is actually a high earner that can throw around a couple of hundred without so much as a pause for thought?

Did your DF's 100,000 actually get used as a deposit or is DH using it this past year to hoodwink you and your DF into believing he is providing this high standard of living, when in fact you and DF have given a scammer a significant amount of money.

If the 'marriage' was indeed legal, I wonder if you might expect divorce papers to plop through the letter box pretty soon, his lifestyle fund could be getting pretty low by now. You have even said yourself that you aren't thinking about divorce yet? That doesn't sound like a committed marriage from you or him really.

All very odd, out of interest are you living in the UK under UK law?

Your dad or you could definitely have paid the 100k towards the house and been added to the deeds and the amount ringfenced, that it’s nothing to do with the mortgage, the mortgage is paying for the rest of the property by your DH.

You have even said yourself that you aren't thinking about divorce yet? That doesn't sound like a committed marriage from you or him really.

Yes, using the word 'yet' is unusual.

I would simply say that I have no plans to divorce my DH. I wouldn't add a 'yet'

None of you understand the situation at the time. it was extremely stressful and fraught. I had many arguments with my DH and reiterated and stood my ground to my DF on many occasions that I and he HAD to be protected. I was met with blocks at every turn. I don't know why my DF couldn't have gifted to me I presume there was a reason. I can't go back in time it is done. I am obviously the youngest and least experienced so you are giving me flack for being naive and a pushover yes I had two adult men that had bought houses before, one of them my DH one my DF telling me everything was protected and it was fine

Making people feel that they need to make big financial decisions urgently, to transfer money in a rush without the pause for thought that they would normally want - is a hallmark of a scammer.

There was no need to rush any of this, and yet... it was all rushed.

The OP and DH could have waited and done a normal marriage. No elopement necessary. They could have bought a property once she had an income.

None of you understand the situation at the time. it was extremely stressful and fraught.

This is always red flag for bad decisions being rushed into.

What was the reason for the stress? You all had somewhere to live before, yes? No-one was homeless? No-one was about to be evicted? Nothing terrible would have happened if you'd married next year rather than this year, and then considered houses after that.

Ok, you can't undo what is done. But you can sort it out now. Do you have the funds to pay a solicitor without DH knowing?

I'd really encourage you to start getting good quality information to work from, rather than relying on being told things by people who might not have your best interest at heart.

For example, you can access the land registry www.gov.uk/government/organisations/land-registry. There may be a small charge. Make sure you use the government gov.uk site and avoid any commercial providers

My advice is not to panic, but see a solicitor on your own as soon as is practicable.

Take all the facts and documents that you have, even if there are bits missing. Make a timeline/summary of facts to share with them, this will help you to communicate clearly and save wasting time. Ask them to advise on your best course of action to protect your financial interest in the property.

Say theDH as a high earner has death in service? Life assurance? The op would no doubt do very well out of his death

All those benefits would go to whoever the DH nominated to receive the benefit. OP doesn't even know what's currently in his will. He could easily leave death in service and life assurance to his own DC.

My point is for OP to get herself informed PDQ rather than rely on second hand information.

All could be well. The point is that OP just doesn't know at this point.

None of this is sounding good.

You seem to have just walked blindly into this and have taken your husbands word as gospel.

Why on earth did you not attend any of the meetings about this when your dad handed over 100k to your husband? You should have insisted. Does your husband not treat you as an equal?

because it was a gift and had to be there's no recourse, we couldn't do a declaration of trust on that as again we were told the lender wouldn't have anyone else's name on it (well I guess it would have had to be reapplied for but at a higher rate) the broker was very pushy

Very, very fishy.

One piece of advice that will stand you in good stead in future. If anyone ever tries to rush you into a decision, especially in order to get you to sign something, do not allow yourself to be rushed. Explain you cannot sign until you understand it. Get your information from a reliable, neutral source. Compare what different people explain and take it from there.

If they are rushing you, there is a chance that you would not agree if they gave you time to think. Do not allow yourself to be rushed into anything ever.

100%

Yes I was going to say the same thing, lenders dont want a number of people on deeds if they are not also on the mortgage, so I dont know why posters are suggesting this

What I dont understand is why OP is not on the mortgage she should have brought 100k to the deposit, why the narrative that she wasnt able to hold this or be gifted this, was it a tax thing perhaps? I thought you were only allowed to receive 10k per year in tax free gifts?

Is the broker a business colleague of your husbands by any chance?

Please do not be defensive, you posted a question, many of us have given you our opinion as requested. I think you seriously need legal help and advice ASAP and I would NOT be letting either of these two men know that you are doing so. Personally I am not attacking you or any decisions you made. I am actually very concerned for you, as I think many others are. Good luck I hope it all turns out to be an innocent misunderstanding between the three of you.

I wasn't earning and was on both deeds and mortgage for years, it's bonkers you're not, I can't understand why, it doesn't matter if you've no income..

This is exactly why so many people are concerned.

Why was it stressful and fraught? Why would you have to argue with DH and DF that you must be protected? Why wouldn't your DF fight for you and he to be protected? Why would your DF give away such a huge sum with no security?

You were being pressurised by two older more experienced men, we don't know their motives but it doesn't sound good. You need to start to consider that perhaps neither had your best interests at heart.

was it a tax thing perhaps? I thought you were only allowed to receive 10k per year in tax free gifts?

This isn't true.

(And even if it was, it would apply to the DH just as much as to the OP.)

Your father is crazy. He gave £100k away. I don't think you really understand what matrimonial home rights is. It just means you get to live in the house until the divorce is finalised. After that, you have to leave. A marriage of 5 years or less is seen as a short marriage, so you are unlikely to be granted anything in a separation, especially as you don't have children together. The house is your husband's, thanks to your father.

because it was a gift and had to be there's no recourse, we couldn't do a declaration of trust on that as again we were told the lender wouldn't have anyone else's name on it (well I guess it would have had to be reapplied for but at a higher rate) the broker was very pushy

You could have written a Deed of Trust as a stand-alone document. Nothing to do with the lender. It would have set out that your dad had gifted you £100k to be used as the deposit for a property and, in the event of a split, the intention of the parties is that the sum would be returned to you. Legally binding, signed by all three of you and witnessed. You keep a copy safely hidden away in case you need it.

It is not too late to execute such a document now. Ask your solicitor about it.

OP do you have proof he actually used the £100k as a deposit? He could have given it to his children/mistress/cat charity.

none Of this makes sense, there’s something the OP is not telling us.