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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder what happened with him

89 replies

Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 18:57

So i started chatting to a guy OLD. I recently broke up with someone so we mainly sexted and spoke on phone. The direction was sexual but he also said some endearing stuff like he wanted to make sure when we met it wouldn’t just be a “meaningless fuck”. We talked about loads of stuff and seemed to have a lot in common. Anyway we finally met up had sex and then I kinda stepped back and he did message but it doesn’t feel
like before. So I asked him if he’s still interested and he messaged back straight away but just kisses (xxx). So I didn’t reply as my gut feeling is he’s trying to slow fade. The last time he texted was on sat and I expected him to text again by now but he hasn’t. What do you think happened? Shall I leave it and am I right thinking it is slow fade?

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 19:00

OLD meaning online

OP posts:
Hotandbothereds · 07/09/2022 19:02

Yeah just notch that up and move on, hope the sex was good!

Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 19:04

😩

OP posts:
Choconut · 07/09/2022 19:10

The endearing stuff was just to get you into bed - although saying he doesn't want a 'meaningless fuck' really isn't my idea of endearing personally. Sounds more like a fast fade - but still keeping things open in case he needs a booty call at some point in the future (with the kisses). It's typical OLD.

Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 19:16

@Choconut ah I see thanks for your input.
it’s weird as he said to me several times that he lived talking to me too and it wasn’t just about fucking. I guess maybe I was naive.

OP posts:
Softplayhooray · 07/09/2022 19:18

I don't like how he worded that in the first place. It seemed needlessly aggressive saying 'meaningless fuck' as if a full blown R or that are the only two options on the table. He sounds like a bullet dodged,OP.

Tabasco007 · 07/09/2022 19:19

Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 18:57

So i started chatting to a guy OLD. I recently broke up with someone so we mainly sexted and spoke on phone. The direction was sexual but he also said some endearing stuff like he wanted to make sure when we met it wouldn’t just be a “meaningless fuck”. We talked about loads of stuff and seemed to have a lot in common. Anyway we finally met up had sex and then I kinda stepped back and he did message but it doesn’t feel
like before. So I asked him if he’s still interested and he messaged back straight away but just kisses (xxx). So I didn’t reply as my gut feeling is he’s trying to slow fade. The last time he texted was on sat and I expected him to text again by now but he hasn’t. What do you think happened? Shall I leave it and am I right thinking it is slow fade?

TBH, people will say anything to get you in to bed, but if you aren't replying to his texts, then he might well be thinking that you have gone off the idea too..... maybe a 2nd date would be good, a walk somewhere or something, so it's not just about sex....

Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 19:23

@Tabasco007
i just get a feeling it’s slow fade. Tbh he did always reply to texts after the sex happened just felt like it wasn’t how it used to be. He said he was sorry as he was having problems with his work, but then wouldn’t text for 2 days.

OP posts:
heatissweet · 07/09/2022 19:27

Sounds like he wanted sex but didn't want to feel guilty about it. I'd move on from him and just look for someone else, sorry OP.

Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 19:28

@heatissweet
thing is he only gave me pleasure (without going into detail) he never came on the date!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 19:29

Anyway I guess he would have messaged by now if he was legitimately interested even tho I didn’t reply to his last texts.

OP posts:
KangFang · 07/09/2022 19:30

You should pay attention to what he's doing, not what he's saying.

A lot of men will say and do almost anything to get laid.

Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 19:36

😥

OP posts:
hattie43 · 07/09/2022 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 19:52

Wow!!!

OP posts:
InsertSomethingMotivationalHere · 07/09/2022 19:56

How sad that people still think like @hattie43
"Give it up," "shag material" honestly!!!

AryaStarkWolf · 07/09/2022 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I'd rather not be with a guy who thought that way anyway.

Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 20:05

Thanks @InsertSomethingMotivationalHere

OP posts:
hattie43 · 07/09/2022 20:07

InsertSomethingMotivationalHere · 07/09/2022 19:56

How sad that people still think like @hattie43
"Give it up," "shag material" honestly!!!

Nope not at all . I don't know a single bloke whose spoken with respect about an immediate lay , that's all they want and if someone gives it up that easily they assume she does it with everyone else . Bottom line he's not in touch

Original poster
Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 20:11

I could equally think he does that with every potential love interest!!

OP posts:
Hesleepswiththefishes · 07/09/2022 20:15

‘Meaningless fuck’
’not just about fucking’
is this what is now acceptable when putting forward your best version of yourself ??

my 18 year old ds is absolutely charming and his gf and family …including gps adore him as he has manners/is thoughtful and considerate
I can’t imagine my dd having to communicate like this

I’ve been with dh for 24 years and he’s always been an absolute gentleman and utterly gorgeous in the way he speaks to me

raise your standards

FlorencePennnywell · 07/09/2022 20:15

He didn't want it to be just a 'meaningless fuck?' And you think this passes as a sign he cares?

Are you very young? You must be.

Look, stop thinking about this one and work on your self esteem and boundaries. Don't sext with men you haven't met either - nothing good comes of it as a rule

hattie43 · 07/09/2022 20:15

Jemnifwlcraig · 07/09/2022 20:11

I could equally think he does that with every potential love interest!!

But it's not a love interest , you immediately started sexting before knowing anything about him , it was all about sex nothing about you as a person . Have some self respect and decent guys might show more interest . You may not agree but he's cooled off so it was only about sex , he's had it and not come back for me . He may be a skank but doesn't mean you won't find someone nice next time .

mcmooberry · 07/09/2022 20:16

I think if you didn't reply to his last texts he is probable assuming its you who isn't interested?

hattie43 · 07/09/2022 20:16

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