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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School blazer

132 replies

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 07/09/2022 18:47

Ds has been given a 90 min detention today as he did not ask permission to remove his school blazer during his first lesson today.

The school uniform has only just changed this year (today is their 1st day back) to a jumper/blazer.

In Y7 uniform was a polo shirt and jumper , Y8 uniform changed to a white shirt and tie and then this year Y9 to a shirt, tie jumper and blazer.

NOTHING is in the school policy that you have to request verbal permission to remove the school blazer when in class.

Ds form tutor mentioned nothing to the pupils today about blazer etiquette.

Ds took his blazer off as it was aggravating his eczema however was immediately told off and was given the detention and behaviour points, he tried to explain/show the teacher his skin however was told to stop asking and do his work.

Ds has a rare form of eczema and will now require a course of steroid treatments, the school is fully aware of his medical history (anaphylaxis allergies and skin conditions) also this teacher is fully aware of his medical history as she has taught him since Y7 and also had to administer ds his emergency care plan during a lesson last year.

Tbf im between angry and annoyed, it’s the first day of schooling and of course everyone makes mistakes/over cautious but then this teacher has caused ds condition to flare up and ignored his pleas when trying to explain he was hurting and uncomfortable, I don’t find this acceptable.

Tomorrow I will be requesting that his school nurse provide a pass to remove his blazer, he shouldn’t need to openly discuss his medical condition in front of his peers! in fact my personal opinion is that no child should be forced to sit in a jumper/blazer if they are hot.

AIBU to refuse to allow ds to attend the detention? tomorrow and phone the school to request they amend their school policy to reflect uniform etiquette?

OP posts:
lunar1 · 08/09/2022 16:19

I really hope that the school have been in touch and your son is ok.

Olsi109 · 08/09/2022 16:23

Hope all is ok

WaltzingWaters · 08/09/2022 18:23

I don’t understand how schools can tell students to keep jumpers/blazers on as it is. If you’re too hot how can you concentrate on a lesson? But in your DS’s case it’s absolutely ridiculous that they didn’t listen to him. I’m glad you’re fuming and taking it further.
all the best to your DS. I really hope he is okay OP 💐

themimi · 08/09/2022 21:44

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 08/09/2022 11:06

Sorry quick email- Currently waiting to see his paediatrician and awaiting a decision if hospital treatment is required (looks likely)

I’ve called the school this morning and asked about the blazer policy, receptionists confirmed blazers are to be worn at all times expect when in classrooms in which they don’t require permission.

We emailed last night requesting the lead safeguarding officer contact us asap and requesting his care plan pack information , however this morning I’ve requested to speak to the head teacher and have made it clear if I don’t have contact by the end of the day I will be going to Ofsted/head of education and getting our local MP involved (who is also a governor at the school).

Priority first tho is to get ds treatment.

I really would urge calm. Talk to the head. Explain how you are feeling and what has happened. Going in ranting and raving and threatening Ofsted is not the way to get the result you want. It is serious and a serious tone is needed but going into fight mode isn't going to solve anything.

Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 09/09/2022 06:50

themimi · 08/09/2022 21:44

I really would urge calm. Talk to the head. Explain how you are feeling and what has happened. Going in ranting and raving and threatening Ofsted is not the way to get the result you want. It is serious and a serious tone is needed but going into fight mode isn't going to solve anything.

Show quote history

I disagree. Fight mode is appropriate. She isn't ranting and raving. She is angry.

This school was so negligent and abusive they have caused their child to need hospital. I would be bringing a lot more into this. The school have proven incapable of managing this in house and as a result they need to have putside intervention immediately

lunar1 · 09/09/2022 07:49

The school set the tone on how issues are dealt with. A 90 minute detention for removing a blazer in accordance with his known medical need is an extremely heavy hand.

I'd expect the teacher to be dealt with in a proportionally harsh manner.

KentuckyDerbyandJoan · 09/09/2022 07:53

CoastalWave · 07/09/2022 18:49

Normally I would say let the school deal with things as they see fit.

But with this - no. I'd be going mental!

Ask for an immediate meeting. This is disgraceful.

This
Tell them that your son most definitely wont be attending for a detention.

YouSoundLovely · 09/09/2022 08:01

Rules such as this are beyond ridiculous - and actually somewhat sadistic IMO, not a lesson we want to be teaching our children - in any case, but actively dangerous in this one.

You bet I'd be in 'fight mode'. This school needs to be in no doubt whatsoever of the seriousness of the trouble they are in. Words such as discrimination and negligence would be (entirely appropriately) involved if this were me.

Never thought I'd write 'fuming on your behalf' on here, but I am. Your poor boy.

Brefugee · 09/09/2022 08:02

Some of the posts on here say 'why do parents tolerate this?' but tbh as a parent you really don't have much choice. I've made complaints to my son's school various times about silly rules that have no grounds except teachers' power trips, but nothing changes.

Don't you have PTAs? As a parent i only know the German system, but from the first year to the last there are 2 parent reps per class, and in the secondary schools reps for each year for each subject. And in the bigger schools there is a committee formed by these reps which acts in the interests of the children and the parents, and is the communication channel for things like this.

so were there uniform requirements here (and it used to be discussed and they used to ask me about my experiences as often the only member of the committee with experience of wearing one - it was always rejected) it would be discussed in minute and excruciating detail with a consensus being reached that all parties (school management, teachers and parents) agreed with. And we did have dress codes and rules about what they could wear -but they weren't batshit about "they must boil to death in a jacket if the teacher can't/won't allow them to take it off".

As for teachers being treated like infants: that is why you have unions. Respect in the workplace etc.

Darbs76 · 09/09/2022 08:03

Our school is the same re removing blazer. I find it ridiculous.

alrightfella · 09/09/2022 08:09

I feel very sorry for your ds, however from experience it is standard that you have to ask permission to remove your blazer or the kids are told you can take your blazers off now.I find it the most ludicrous rule ever but there you go. Having said that if blazers are a new addition the kids should have had this rule clearly explained to them.

I hope your ds recovers quickly and the school put something in place for him. I am guessing the teacher in question didn't realise the severity of your sons condition.

katkit · 09/09/2022 08:19

what the hell!

Sunnyqueen · 09/09/2022 08:22

FrodisCapering · 08/09/2022 10:56

@Sunnyqueen ex teacher here. I often found the rules to be absolutely ridiculous, however the teachers aren't being jobsworths.

Believe it or not, they are often treated like kids themselves and given proper tellings off if they are found to be lax on the rules.

Once I was teaching a Year 10 class and we were totally immersed in the work. Some great learning going on.
The headteacher came in unannounced doing a school tour. It was then I noticed one of the girls had her coat on.
I was hauled into the office for a telling off. No mention of how well everyone had been working.

Teachers are under so much pressure and in fear of losing their jobs. This is one reason why rules like this are enforced.

I can also understand why a stressed out teacher at the start of term, possibly with a class of 32 kids, didn't have time to listen.

All that said, I think they should all have been made aware of the OP's son's medical condition and that he should not be required to wear it. I would definitely be complaining in this case, and I am usually the first to say just follow the rules.

Bit of a cop out tbh. If every teacher turned round and said ' look i really do not have time for this shit' the heads would have 2 choices, sack all their teachers or it would be the heads turn to fall in line. I wonder which one they would go with.

Makes me wonder how many history or philosophy teachers quote 'the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing'
Or
'be the change you want to see in the world'
Then in the same lesson bark 'DETENTION! You regulated your own body temperature without my permission!!'

Soubriquet · 09/09/2022 09:11

Do let us know how your poor ds is x

pointythings · 09/09/2022 09:19

@themimi given that OP's DS has ended up needing hospital treatment and that the* school knew* of his medical condition, I think figt mode is appropriate.

I also do wish all teachers would go on strike over these stupid uniform use, but they won't. And a lot of parents suffer from the delusion that a super strict uniform and draconian rules will somehow magically give their kids the same kinds of advantage a private education can provide, so sheep-like they accept it.

Novum · 09/09/2022 09:21

themimi · 08/09/2022 21:44

I really would urge calm. Talk to the head. Explain how you are feeling and what has happened. Going in ranting and raving and threatening Ofsted is not the way to get the result you want. It is serious and a serious tone is needed but going into fight mode isn't going to solve anything.

Show quote history

I agree that ranting and raving won't help, but I think OP is absolutely right to show the school that she is taking this very seriously indeed and that it is not something they can ignore or sweep under the carpet. There has been a clear safeguarding breach and disability discrimination, and the school is in breach of government guidance anyway by introducing an utterly pointless piece of uniform that adds to expense for parents. If this incident makes them rethink, so much the better.

BringOnSummerHolidays · 09/09/2022 09:22

I have a child with eczema and she'll get rashes like this too if overheated. She needs to stay cool or she'll come up with rashes. I'll get so angry about this.

Sunshineandroses5 · 09/09/2022 09:28

My school was crazy about blazers but we could take them off in class. Moving round the school everyone had to have their blazer on unless the school flag was flying then we could take them off (when it was deemed hot enough).

It seems a bit extreme to say you can’t take them off in a class room. I would definitely be asking for the school rules and where this is written down. Then like you said asking for a medical exception.

shiningstar2 · 09/09/2022 09:31

Apart from your son's condition...a ninety minute detention for taking his blazer off ...as a first offence ...on the first day back!! Did I read that right??? A ninety minute detention for that is rediculous. Your son has a legitimate reason to take his blazer off. If he didn't I would support behaviour points as a maximum on a first day of new rules fore something like that. A really strict school might start as they mean to yo on with a 30 minute detention as a clear message of intent ...but 90 minutes??? I would see the school about your son's condition but also feel it would be appropriate to raise that a 90 minutes detention for a new situation on first day back is poor management.

bellamountain · 09/09/2022 09:37

It's so muggy at the moment as well, I certainly won't be wearing any blazers in this weather. I despair of the uniform rules in this county. Utterly absurd! What's wrong with a polo shirt and sweatshirt in this day and age!

MarsupiIami · 09/09/2022 09:43

Hope everything is OK OP.

Original poster
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 09/09/2022 11:53

Ds has been admitted to hospital and will be in for at least 3/10 days, the eczema herpeticum is spreading rapidly however they believe they've started treatment early and will not be life threatening.

DS consultant is just as mad as me and is seeking to take this further himself.

I’ve had a few missed calls from the school but haven’t got the head space to deal.

OP posts:
Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 09/09/2022 11:56

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 09/09/2022 11:53

Ds has been admitted to hospital and will be in for at least 3/10 days, the eczema herpeticum is spreading rapidly however they believe they've started treatment early and will not be life threatening.

DS consultant is just as mad as me and is seeking to take this further himself.

I’ve had a few missed calls from the school but haven’t got the head space to deal.

I am so so sorry, I hope he has a speedy recovery.

Rage is appropriate, I would be looking for blood and would absolutely involve solicitors.

Parker231 · 09/09/2022 12:01

I would definitely be raising a formal complaint - class teacher, headteacher and local authorities. No child should ever have to ask permission to remove a blazer (stupid item imo). Everyone is different and feels hot and cold differently. The teachers are going to get numerous interruptions with everyone asking at different times for permission. The school is being ridiculous. Children can think for themselves about putting on or off their blazer.

SeaToSki · 09/09/2022 12:11

I hope he is on the road to recovery soon.

A 13 yr old shouldnt have to do this, but do you think he would feel he could refuse to comply with an adult (teacher) telling him to do something he knows will make him ill. If the adult (teacher) continues to insist, then saying he doesnt feel safe and is going to leave the room and go to the head of school’s office to request his parents are called to advocate on his behalf. If he knows you will back him up, and you have told the school that this is what you have told him to do, maybe he will be able to.