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AIBU?

5 days of silent treatment

101 replies

confusedinlondon · 05/09/2022 21:11

My wife thought I wasn't paying enough attention to her plans for a new haircut and has decided to give me the silent treatment.
This is day 10 of her not speaking to me. I was listening to her but i didnt really have an opinion so I suggested she ask the hairdress what style would best suit her.

She accused me of not caring, compared be unfavourably to her friends husbands and walked back home (we were out shopping).


I have apologised, I tried to speak to her but she its been no use. The problem is that she will say something to me and i will think things are good and 30 mins later she won't reply to me. She'll sit there and pretend I don't exist.

Its very frustrating, she uses silence against loads of people. My parents and even against her family.
I don't really know what to do but I am feeling more and more frustrated by this.

I think 10 days of intentionally ignore me is more than enough punishment

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

357 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
2%
You are NOT being unreasonable
98%
Creepymanonagoatfarm · 05/09/2022 21:12

Grounds for divorce now op. Recognised as abuse.

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Dotcheck · 05/09/2022 21:12

She’s a dick

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confusedinlondon · 05/09/2022 21:13

Should add, its been 10 days since the incident and when the silent treatment started and 5 days since she last started a conversation with me.

OP posts:
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TowerRavenSeven · 05/09/2022 21:13

Nothing good can come from this.

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RampantIvy · 05/09/2022 21:14

I think 10 days of intentionally ignore me is more than enough punishment

10 days of sulking and silent treatment is pathetically immature and childish. She is trying to control you.

What do you get out of this relationship?

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arethereanyleftatall · 05/09/2022 21:15

I would have zero interest in being in a relationship like that.

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Thehop · 05/09/2022 21:15

She’s an abusive nasty cow, punishing you to manipulate you into being scared of ever doing anything she doesn’t like again,

I’d leave, no way could I live with this

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Choconut · 05/09/2022 21:16

Passive aggressive bullshit - how can anything be resolved if she won't talk to you for days on end? It's an abusive way to punish you, she needs to grow up and communicate to resolve things like an adult.

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RisingSunn · 05/09/2022 21:16

This is unacceptable. It’s controlling and emotionally abusive.

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Knockmealdowns · 05/09/2022 21:21

It’s her choice to be silent. You just have to carry on with your life, you’ve apologised, there’s nought more you can do.. go off and see your friends and family.. just continue life as normal.

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NuffSaidSam · 05/09/2022 21:22

Leave the bastard.

Seriously, she sounds awful.

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RampantIvy · 05/09/2022 21:23

It’s her choice to be silent

Maybe, but it is a deeply unpleasant character trait to do this to someone, especially your spouse.

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nomorerescuedogs · 05/09/2022 21:27

This is a form of abuse and her way of punishing you, surely you deserve better?

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Isittrueornot · 05/09/2022 21:28

Bin her off.

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Takeitonthechin · 05/09/2022 21:28

How old is she!, she's acting like a child and why are you letting her walk all over you?
Go out and enjoy yourself and don't tell her where you're going, it will pee her off no end.
I couldn't put up with this behaviour, I'd have to leave I'm afraid
Man up

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lunar1 · 05/09/2022 21:31

Leave her, it's abusive.

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wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 05/09/2022 21:32

Utterly childish and somewhat abusive/controlling.

Do you want another 30/40 years of this?

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Sunflower987 · 05/09/2022 21:32

She sounds exhausting, I couldn't put up with that.
Life's too short to be with someone petty and miserable.

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Suzi888 · 05/09/2022 21:33

DH’s aunt does, well did this to her DH. They were married until his death- the last few years she stopped doing it as she knew they didn’t have that long left. He died recently and she’s heartbroken.
It would go on for weeks- I couldn’t be arsed myself.

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FOJN · 05/09/2022 21:41

Time to cool off after a disagreement is reasonable but days of silent treatment is abusive. If her issue is that she feels you never take an interest in anything she talks about then she could discuss that with you rather than ignoring you.

My ex husband could maintain the silent treatment for weeks over the most minor things. I don't miss living like that.

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Wnikat · 05/09/2022 21:43

Hope you don’t have kids with her. If not, run away, fast.

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NotMyFinestMoment · 05/09/2022 21:44

It's time for you to leave (or show her the door).

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XmasElf10 · 05/09/2022 21:47

LTB, she is abusive and extremely unpleasant.

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BecauseICan22 · 05/09/2022 21:49

confusedinlondon · 05/09/2022 21:13

Should add, its been 10 days since the incident and when the silent treatment started and 5 days since she last started a conversation with me.

Stonewalling. Look it up. What she's doing is a form of control and emotional abuse.

I'd absolutely end my marriage over such repeated and damaging behaviour.

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Jibbajabba1 · 05/09/2022 21:50

Sounds horrible - like one of my aunts - always wonder how my uncle puts up with her

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