Absent father, drugs, emotionally abusive to mum, walked out with another woman when I was three and my sister was a baby, didnt pay a single penny for me and my sister.
He completely dropped my sis, never mentioned her again, no contact. Against my mum and sisters advice, i got back in touch with him when I was about 20. Over the last decade we have met up for a pint once every two years or so. I dont know why i did it. Curiosity maybe? Sentimentality? Every time we met he was more and more out of control and intense. I think the drink and drugs and age gradually took their toll. He became even edgier than he already was. The last time I saw him was 6 months ago and he was so erratic and intense I decided it would be the last time.
Last week I received a message from him saying:
"Mum's in hospital and it's looking bad. Unfortunately as I've been focusing entirely on mum, I've rather neglected my wellbeing. I don't need you to do anything yet (it's tests at the moment for me). I just needed to make sure you were OK and in contact. ❤️"
I feel like I'm being manipulated and my feelings are confused. What would he want me to do? I feel like having never performed fatherly duties he now wants me to perform daughterly ones. I feel angry but at the same time I feel sorry for him. My sister and mum think I'm mad. Right now I've blocked him.
Has anyone had experience with this? A toxic or estranged parent calling on you in their hour of need? Any thoughts?