French (and German) children don’t throw food

[Summersummersun]

I have heard of this book and think I need to read it.

Just got back from a foreign holiday where the majority of families were German.

All I saw around me were well behaved,
placid children. I lost count of the number of couples I saw on sun loungers at the pool whilst their (young) children played nearby, nicely, in the shallow pools. I also saw so many parents on their phones or reading, ignoring the children completely, whilst the children either sat and played at their feet, or just sat on the sun beds not really doing anything. Just…sitting. Quietly.

My children are not like this. They’re 6 and 3, and whilst the eldest is a decent swimmer he still needed a lot of interaction in the pool. And they would never just SIT THERE whilst DH and I ignored them. Ever. We were staying in a caravan and granted had limited stuff to entertain them there and then (mainly just stickers/books, no real toys) they rush around the house at home anyway and never sit and play with toys nicely (unless eldest is doing a Lego set).

I’ve never been so conscious of my inadequate parenting and children before, and we have been on plenty of Center Parcs/UK holidays. In fact one of the things I like about CP is the fact that you can relax with DC as there is always another one having a meltdown in the vicinity.

AIBU to think this? Are European children just better behaved?

Well you don’t know that - I’ve spent time in America so meeting an average bunch of kids from the country. I’ve found some of them lovely, and some horrible. Like British kids. Like literally all kids, and all people.

So that person’s ‘travels’ might well have been in America. So meeting regular/average people.

I had an interview for a nanny job once. The eldest (around 5 I think?) started pushing and pummelling his dad. His parents praised him for 'only hitting gently'!!! I had to scoop my jaw up off the floor at that.

My children ate out and travelled a lot so could “do” restaurants. They didn’t throw food (I’m not sure I’ve really ever seen anyones child do that). Surely it’s just what they are used to, not something magical based on nationality. They definitely DIDN’T sleep through at three months!

leaving Your kids unsupervised in a pool is aspirational parenting ??

I agree with this. The amount of time you see children misbehaving or being rude when out and about and the parents solution is to buy them something to keep them quiet 🤯.

I am fortunate that my two eldest (11 &13) children are very polite and respectful of others. Even my youngest (7 with severe developmental SEN & Asd) knows if she screams about getting stuff in shops she gets nothing and goes home empty handed.

It’s BS - just depends where you go! European kids are as good/bad/naughty/difficult/noisy as anywhere else’s!
we happen to have kids who behave well in public, sit and eat at table, we don’t allow devices in holiday etc and have had French waiters, staff and passers by comment on how ‘good’ they are compared to French kids. So just goes to show… it’s a myth that ALL French kids sit nicely in restaurants.
we saw one through the MOTHER of all tantrums ( age about 6/7) because he wanted his iPad back in a cafe…

I've not been on holiday in recent years to resorts such as the OP describes. What I have noticed in cities I have been to is that those from the UK, be it child or adult, stand out, partly because they are noisier, and especially because of complete lack of any dignity and style in the way they dress.

I think YABU. I'm not sure if it's the correct phrase to describe it but I'd say Grass is greener on the other side?
I'm not British. For me British babies and young children appear to behave well for their age.

Ha ha ha ha ha
Former Nanny to European children here.
Italian toddler meltdowns anyon?😂

It's a mix of parental expectations, children's personalities, and culture.

All countries have some toddlers who have meltdowns. And the Italians are known to be pretty lenient with their young children.

European in peace, here, with a few observations . . . 😅

German kids can also be horrible. Often we don't really tolerate them well and there are places that ban them altogether. That said, there is certainly much less focus on places being child-centric. Kids are expected to integrate and fit in to a greater extent than here in the UK, I think.

I think, however, what the op describes is pretty common. I recently went on a Spanish resort holiday with DH, DS and British MiL and FiL who were horrified at my 'hands off' parenting. I was prepared to let DS make his own friends, play alone and I was equally confused by their assertion that DS needed entertaining the whole time. This is completely at odds with the way in which I was raised as a kid and I don't think it is particularly healthy to helicopter around your kids. I don't want my role to be the entertainer.

It was very easy to spot the British families in the restaurants, as they almost always had their kids plugged into a device of some sort.

British kids often have a bad rep, some of which I think is a little unfair. In general, I find that British parents place more emphasis on manners and politeness than I was ever exposed to as a kid, which I think is positive. DH and I have tried to take the best parts of the very different ways we were raised as kids and create a bit of a hybrid between the two. This would suggest that continental parents don't always get it right!

Lived in France for a few years and I really noticed this. French children expected to entertain themselves a lot and rarely had to be told off as much as children back home.

Of course this is just my experience.

Very polite at the table, ate 2 - 3 courses and always asked if they could leave the table before getting up. Always cleared their own plates too.