To quietly leave a friendship group?

[AllTheUsernamesLeftAreShit]

I've been part of a group of six since going to uni together, still all live in the same city. As life has moved on over the past 10 years I just don't feel we have much in common any more. Meet ups are infrequent and, to be honest, I don't want to give up my limited free time to spend a £60 on wine and dinner. I allocate £10 a week as disposable income so I have to dip into savings to cover it.

I've just started politely declining, but it has been noted as there was a rash of meetups over the summer holiday. AIBU to continue politely saying no thanks? I don't actually dislike them or bear them any ill-feeling so officially breaking up with them seems a bit over the top!

Friendship isn’t some kind of contract of obligation. It’s not meant to be an expensive chore. You don’t have to keep socialising with people you don’t have anything in common with and don’t want to spend money on.

Yeah they're not your people. 'Friendship groups' are very immature anyway. It's what girls at high school have. You can do better

What a totally bonkers statement. I'm in my mid 50's and have many friendship groups going back decades, after my family they are the most precious part of my life.

What in god's name does 'you can do better' in this context even mean??

To the OP, you can definitely just quietly drift away.

OP you’re free to do what you want but you sound incredibly miserable and it might do the the friendship group the world of good if you backed out.sorry if that’s harsh but you sound a bit like hard work.

i love my own company and relish time spent by myself but I also value my female friendships.

Fair enough a few friends go to dinner every once in a while but to have a fully fledged 'friendship group' to be a 'member' of is quite frankly hilarious!

I don’t understand this at all. Having a group of friends is not a club. Neither is it immature. Let me guess, you see them as ‘cliques’.

@ThePumpkinPatch I’m another one totally baffled by your comments 🤷‍♀️. I have a number of friendship groups - I’m in my 50s, never considered this to be immature 😬😳.

Just tell one of them that you no longer feel you have much in common so you won't be meeting up with them anymore, but wish them all the best etc. Ghosting is childish.

How odd, it’s not a kids club, it’s simply how friendships work, into adulthood, for both men & women.

I actually feel genuinely sorry for you if you don’t understand or appreciate this and feel the need to sneer at friendships like this.

This. The meet ups are infrequent normally (summer excepted) so just don't respond, and there is no need for any drama or difficulty of trying to explain - you don't owe anyone anything. If someone challenges you directly (maybe trying to help, or just being inquisitive) or they keep trying to drag you back into it - just say you are busy with other things and life in general. Someone once told me that friendships are for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and it sounds like this one has run its course. If there are whatsapp groups and the likes where there is traffic, you can either block, or in time remove yourself, again with a polite message if you feel you need to. Again you can hide behind the "really busy with other stuff at the mo so going to remove myself from this one but hope you all have a brill time, it looks great". They will move on without you, without any offence taken.

"Hurl abuse?" "Call names?" I said your post (not you, although I can no probably extrapolate....) was bonkers. That's it. And it was.

Pretty obvious why you might not be overwhelmed with offers to join friendship groups tbh!

Well I think you are mad giving up a group of lovely friends just because you are at different life stages! You may come to regret it, you only have to read the posts on here about loneliness and a lack of friends to know that you won't be young and in demand forever, with a steady stream of replacements op. Old friends that you can trust, know well and have history together really is gold dust.

If you can't afford to meet up, invite them over for dinner with everyone bringing a dish and a bottle of wine. Or simply be honest and open. I can't go out at the moment due to financial constraints, but hope to join you all for a shindig at Christmas. Keep the door open is my best advice.

I have incredible sets of friends, some decades old, others are just a few years old, I have them because I take care of them, value my friends and don't take them for granted. One day in the future the phone may stop ringing just when you most need a helping hand.

Who makes these rules??

You seem very sure of yourself, I must say.

It’s you, not us. I wonder what happened to you to have such weird and frankly nasty thoughts about what having a friendship group entails?