Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids collision at playground and pissed of mum

91 replies

Civitavecchia · 02/09/2022 11:02

DS is 3 yo and started a new play group few weeks ago. I am trying to become friend with< some of the other mums because we moved recently in the area. Unsure if it is relevant but i come from abroad.

DCs and I joined a group of mums and kids, all playing at the playground. Age 0 to 10 yo i would say.
It was clear that one of the mum was often the center of attention in conversation. I have "seen" her already, she is part of several commitees at our village which are related to school, kids, events etc. Let's call her A.

DS was playing with other kids on the slide. Up and down and up and down using the "correct path".
I was a bit blocked because i was breast feeding baby DC but i was keeping an eye on him.
I realized that A's baby (maybe 18 months old? Unsure) climbed on the bottom of the slide and he was standing there at the end of the slide. A did not notice, she was talking. My DS climbed the stairs, reached the top of the slide. Before i had the time to yell something he started to slide and he completely crashed on A's baby. The baby of course fell on the floor and started crying. He cried for a while.

A was so pissed of at my son and at me. I sent my DS to say sorry, i ask her how her DS was when he stopped crying but she was sooo pissed off she basically gave me her back for the rest of the time. And then she started making strange conversation around how playground should be a safe place for all ages, how without good education kids do not behave etc. It was never directed to me but you know what i mean.

It was so akward and i have the feeling this could be a problem with the other mums because she really seems to be involved with everyone and everything.

The evening, DH was so pissed off when i told him because he thinks it was A's fault. She should have supervised her kid better. And that she is just a bully. And if she continues i should say something.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Marvellousmadness · 02/09/2022 11:04

I would fine a new playgroup asap
She sounds like satan.
Your kid wasn't in the wrong either
She should have kept her eye on her kid

She sounds like... a... well... a not nice person with too little going on in her life

Mamamia7962 · 02/09/2022 11:05

I think she's trying to blame you and your son for her lack of supervision.

Starlight86 · 02/09/2022 11:05

Uch...its just really how it goes with young kids.

Mum should have been watching 18 month old, and 3 YO should have known there was a baby at the bottom of the slide and not went down it.

But all in all it was a playground accident where noone and everyone was at fault.

Damnautocorrect · 02/09/2022 11:06

Download motherland on iplayer.
it will get easier.

from the school gate outcast Wine

MooseBreath · 02/09/2022 11:07

Have you seen Motherland? A sounds like an Amanda. I'd steer clear. Is there an alternative group in a neighbouring village that you could use instead?

JudgeRindersMinder · 02/09/2022 11:08

So she’s not teaching her child that you NEVER stand on the bottom of a slide and this is your fault?

You're 100% not in the wrong and she knows it, which is why she’s acting like she is. Unfortunately her louder voice is going to “win” this one because she’s a cow 😢

MinnieMouseclubhouse · 02/09/2022 11:10

She is clearly overreacting and bing a bitch but I do think it's unreasonable to blame the incident entirely on her. Yes, she should be supervising her baby, but so should you be supervising your son (or at least have drummed in to him that he doesn't go down the slide until it's clear).

I think you should wait till the dust has settled and then apologise - not because it's all your fault, but because she is clearly someone that you want to stay on the right side of!

Mayorquimby2 · 02/09/2022 11:11

She's a cunt and a bully

jakesmommy · 02/09/2022 11:11

She should have been watching her child instead of chatting, you and your child did nothing wrong, unfortunately because of who she is, her and her little cliche think they are right.

Helenahandcartt · 02/09/2022 11:12

Just smile , nod and carry on like you don’t care. Don’t adjust your reasonable behaviour or comment. Bullies like a reaction, either that you look aggressive by getting cross, or you running away. Then they look like they had a point.
Don’t be pushed out, but don’t engage. Doesn’t sound like a potential friend so seeing her back is probably a positive. They is no need to engage in the crazy behaviour. If anyone is reasonable in the group you’ll find friends.

buzzbuzzybuzz · 02/09/2022 11:13

It's her fault and these things happen. She is just that sort of mother.

Mumspair1 · 02/09/2022 11:17

Starlight86 · 02/09/2022 11:05

Uch...its just really how it goes with young kids.

Mum should have been watching 18 month old, and 3 YO should have known there was a baby at the bottom of the slide and not went down it.

But all in all it was a playground accident where noone and everyone was at fault.

This. In fact she is at fault more because her child is very young to be left unsupervised. Anyone with half a brain cell will see this was just a minor accident and these things happen. Don't apologize or tip toe around her, it gives people like her more power. She is just a person, a busy body seems like it but she's no better than anyone else really.

Trinity65 · 02/09/2022 11:21

Civitavecchia · 02/09/2022 11:02

DS is 3 yo and started a new play group few weeks ago. I am trying to become friend with< some of the other mums because we moved recently in the area. Unsure if it is relevant but i come from abroad.

DCs and I joined a group of mums and kids, all playing at the playground. Age 0 to 10 yo i would say.
It was clear that one of the mum was often the center of attention in conversation. I have "seen" her already, she is part of several commitees at our village which are related to school, kids, events etc. Let's call her A.

DS was playing with other kids on the slide. Up and down and up and down using the "correct path".
I was a bit blocked because i was breast feeding baby DC but i was keeping an eye on him.
I realized that A's baby (maybe 18 months old? Unsure) climbed on the bottom of the slide and he was standing there at the end of the slide. A did not notice, she was talking. My DS climbed the stairs, reached the top of the slide. Before i had the time to yell something he started to slide and he completely crashed on A's baby. The baby of course fell on the floor and started crying. He cried for a while.

A was so pissed of at my son and at me. I sent my DS to say sorry, i ask her how her DS was when he stopped crying but she was sooo pissed off she basically gave me her back for the rest of the time. And then she started making strange conversation around how playground should be a safe place for all ages, how without good education kids do not behave etc. It was never directed to me but you know what i mean.

It was so akward and i have the feeling this could be a problem with the other mums because she really seems to be involved with everyone and everything.

The evening, DH was so pissed off when i told him because he thinks it was A's fault. She should have supervised her kid better. And that she is just a bully. And if she continues i should say something.

What do you think?

Your Husband is correct

A should have been keeping an eye on her kid .

sunshinecoffee · 02/09/2022 11:21

Oh my days. She is being a bit of a B and totally overreacting. She should've been watching her kid. But also should realise that these things happen with wee ones.

YellowTreeHouse · 02/09/2022 11:26

A should have been watching and not talking.

However, at 3, your son is old enough to know not to go down the slide if there are others at the bottom of it. Why did he?

rnsaslkih · 02/09/2022 11:28

So A didn’t supervise her toddler and blames everyone else for the fact he got hurt. He got hurt because A didn’t watch him and didn’t therefore move him from a dangerous place. I’d keep away from A. You don’t need a big circle of mum friends, particularly not passive aggressive bitches like this who cite “education” and “not behaving” as reasons to excuse her bad parenting. She was more interested in socialising than her kid’s safety.

stuntbubbles · 02/09/2022 11:29

YellowTreeHouse · 02/09/2022 11:26

A should have been watching and not talking.

However, at 3, your son is old enough to know not to go down the slide if there are others at the bottom of it. Why did he?

At 18 months, toddlers should be heavily supervised at the playground to not sit at the bottom of the slide/walk in front of swings/generally wander into the danger zones. A is more at fault here than a 3-year-old who has less control of their instincts.

Novum · 02/09/2022 11:29

Starlight86 · 02/09/2022 11:05

Uch...its just really how it goes with young kids.

Mum should have been watching 18 month old, and 3 YO should have known there was a baby at the bottom of the slide and not went down it.

But all in all it was a playground accident where noone and everyone was at fault.

When it comes to allocating fault, I think the parent and adult bears a hell of lot more responsibility than the 3 year old.

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 02/09/2022 11:31

She’s trying to control the narrative and stop people from remembering the accident as largely her fault (for not supervising her 18m old around kids up to 10!). That’s why she’s making those pass agg comments. Ignore her. Yes ideally your child should have waited until the slide is clear but we all know that often doesn’t happen. Her baby shouldn’t have been left to wander into danger’s path. What if they’d done in front of the swings?! Could have been kicked in the head!

Sapphire387 · 02/09/2022 11:32

What a storm in a teacup. She's making a big deal over a simple playground accident. It's really not a big deal, and she shouldn't have made it so.

YellowTreeHouse · 02/09/2022 11:34

stuntbubbles · 02/09/2022 11:29

At 18 months, toddlers should be heavily supervised at the playground to not sit at the bottom of the slide/walk in front of swings/generally wander into the danger zones. A is more at fault here than a 3-year-old who has less control of their instincts.

Show quote history

I agree with all of that. None of it contradicts my point.

Marblessolveeverything · 02/09/2022 11:35

She should have had an eye on her toddler and kept him clear of the slide. Your 3 year old was following the rules.

Ignore the drama - there is always at least one "mean girl"!

OhmygodDont · 02/09/2022 11:36

She’s just trying to cover up the fact her lazy parenting meant her child got hurt. No 18th that’s old should be able to put themselves in a position of danger because of the equipment being used at a park because a parent should be supervising.

The three years while yes should of stopped and not gone down is only three years old and was being supervised just mum was just that split second too slow to shout stop. Unlike 18 month olds mum who didn’t even no untill the accident had happened.

ignore her and her little group of followers.

girlmom21 · 02/09/2022 11:37

She absolutely should have supervised her child. It's not going to be a safe place if she allows her children to use equipment incorrectly.

johnd2 · 02/09/2022 11:37

So she thinks it's your fault and you think it's her fault. Then everyone is stewing over it. But the kids probably moved on 1 minute after it happened.
It's no one's fault, it just happened, concentrate on what learnings are for you (and your son) and leave her to make her own learnings.
If everything has to be someone's fault you're going to have a long route through parenthood.

Fwiw it does sound like she has issues, but they are her issues don't make them yours!

Swipe left for the next trending thread