Kids collision at playground and pissed of mum

[Civitavecchia]

DS is 3 yo and started a new play group few weeks ago. I am trying to become friend with< some of the other mums because we moved recently in the area. Unsure if it is relevant but i come from abroad.

DCs and I joined a group of mums and kids, all playing at the playground. Age 0 to 10 yo i would say.
It was clear that one of the mum was often the center of attention in conversation. I have "seen" her already, she is part of several commitees at our village which are related to school, kids, events etc. Let's call her A.

DS was playing with other kids on the slide. Up and down and up and down using the "correct path".
I was a bit blocked because i was breast feeding baby DC but i was keeping an eye on him.
I realized that A's baby (maybe 18 months old? Unsure) climbed on the bottom of the slide and he was standing there at the end of the slide. A did not notice, she was talking. My DS climbed the stairs, reached the top of the slide. Before i had the time to yell something he started to slide and he completely crashed on A's baby. The baby of course fell on the floor and started crying. He cried for a while.

A was so pissed of at my son and at me. I sent my DS to say sorry, i ask her how her DS was when he stopped crying but she was sooo pissed off she basically gave me her back for the rest of the time. And then she started making strange conversation around how playground should be a safe place for all ages, how without good education kids do not behave etc. It was never directed to me but you know what i mean.

It was so akward and i have the feeling this could be a problem with the other mums because she really seems to be involved with everyone and everything.

The evening, DH was so pissed off when i told him because he thinks it was A's fault. She should have supervised her kid better. And that she is just a bully. And if she continues i should say something.

What do you think?

A should have been watching her toddler. The fact that he/she was in a danger zone was A’s parenting fail. She is blame shifting. Ignore her.

I think you should wait till the dust has settled and then apologise - not because it's all your fault, but because she is clearly someone that you want to stay on the right side of!

Noooo please don’t do this OP. You don’t need to be sucking up to her just because of who she is. Just keep your head held high and move on.
If you genuinely owed her an apology and wanted to try to make amends, then that would be fair enough. But you’ve literally done nothing wrong.
Apologising just to get some brownie points makes no sense.

I think A already knows she is in the wrong underneath it all but aha can’t admit her irresponsible behaviour in bit supervising her 18 month old properly so she’s trying to deflect it onto you and your DC. I’d just give her a wide berth from now on and I’m sure you’ll find good friends in your new area.

I have an 18 month old and if he goes to the park he will try to climb up the bottom of the slide (we have one at home so he's learned to do it there unfortunately), you have to watch them like a hawk at this age as they are everywhere and other kids are much bigger (I have a 6 and 4 year old too). Your child was sliding down the slide, your child wasn't in the wrong here, this is her fault for not watching her 18 month old. I would have merely just said to my child "just watch out for little ones when you slide down, they don't understand you slide down not climb up". I wouldn't be telling my child off. She sounds like a bitch, we have someone similar at our school she's on every committee, I had crossed words with her over something (she was at fault!!) And I got daggers for ages. Reminded me of being at high-school with the bitchy cool girls!

These things happen in a playgroup but it's her fault for not supervising her child who is very young and was at the bottom of the slide. She sounds like quite a bully

Yes, A should have been supervising her own 18 month old. However, she was obviously too busy being the centre of attention. Loathe this kind of woman. Suspect she will freeze you out.

Don't apologise.

Both your children aren't mature enough to understand that children do stupid things. However your 3 year old is likely to remember to now look before sliding due to this, there as her 18 month old won't. This is why you closely supervise a toddler but give pre-schoolers some freedom in closed and mostly safe environments so they start learning from incidents.

Reframe this as a positive; you've now got the measure of this one. Don't apologise to her. I don't think you should have made your son apologise either as he wasn't to blame. Give her a wide berth from now in as she sounds like a dick.

She should have been paying closer attention to her kid.

at 3 I would have explained to ds that he needs to check the bottom of the slide before he goes and not go down if others are in the way. And get him to apologise. Which you did. At 4 I’d expect them to know that but probably not at 3. He was not at fault. Yes ideally you would have been more closely supervising but you were BF and her child was younger.

i wouldn’t want to be friends with her either.

She should have been supervising her child, you and your child are not to blame

Spot on.

The OP is the new one though. Sounds like A and the village already have a hierarchy. If you want to make friends with them OP, you'll have to bite your tongue and fit in, which will mean accepting fault - saying your kid was overexcited or something.

This situation was literally her own fault.

@Civitavecchia
I would of told her to teach her dc to use equipment the way its supposed to be just like your dc was and her dc would not get hurt, think she blaming your dc for her lack of parenting tbh to.

She's sounds like one of those mums who always wants to blame someone else.

I see it all the time at play parks kids climbing up the slide and the parents not paying attention because they are too busy chatting. Not saying you can't chat but when my DD has climbed the slide in the past I've reminded her we only go down the slide. So she now knows not to go up but she does sometimes need a reminder.

Honestly it annoys me how little attention some parents give their children in parks especially an 18 month old!!!

Mother should not leave her kid at the bottom of slide , like walking in front of a bike !