To not find Miss/Mrs/Ms relevant today

[helenabonhamfarter]

In the modern world why do I have to specify if I'm married or not.
Why is it relevant?
Every website wants my title
Even the dry cleaner when I drop my washing off asks "is that Miss or Mrs?"

Why is first name and last name insufficient?
I do have a professional title which I can wheel out which is gender neutral and do so if I want to get arsey but seriously why are we doing this???

He’s actually trying to be respectful. When I was newly married I loved the Mrs title and flashed it everywhere. All you have to say is Ms. it’s not a big deal

Totally agree. I have tried to opt out by being a Ms all my life, when single and married.

What makes me laugh is when people are actually affronted to discover I am a Ms despite being married. It’s a surprising number of people, including recently a customer service lady in a bank. She was so huffy about it. I can’t fathom what actually upset her about it, let alone why she thought she had a right to let her displeasure show.

To add I am happily married of many years

But what if

1. You aren't
2. Going through divorce
3. Feel unloved and single
4. Gender fluid
5. Widowed

This is constantly rammed down your throat as if it defines you in some way.

???

Why one earth can't I order some clothes without specifying by stealth what my gender is and if I'm married.
Bloody ridiculous.

Formality is still sometimes useful (in schools for example).
I think the problem is that in English ‘Miss’ is a perfectly respectful title, we also have Ms and Mrs.
In languages such as Spanish where the equivalent of Miss is a diminutive they have tended to drop ‘Señorita’ for example and use ‘Señora’ for everyone over about 16.
Probably the best solution would be everyone over 16 to call herself ‘Mrs’.

I detest being called by my first name by unknown call centre operatives. Can I call you "Big Woolly"? No, you bloody well can't, you are not family or friends. It's to do with respect. I always request to be called "Mrs Jumpers".

If you're in a setting where someone is unfamiliar with you personally, e.g a dry cleaners or other business - then first and last names are a bit familiar, isn't it just to keep communication respectful and a bit more formal? So you're not Helen Bonham or Helen, you're Ms Bonham, where someone is providing you a service / part of a professional relationship?

The same as @cowskeepingmeupatnight

I've never used Miss or Mrs and can't see how my marital status is anyone else's business but have come across people getting really huffy with me about it!

Yes, every time I get asked this I ask why is it relevant.

Entirely agree. I've been Ms since about 17, and stayed that way when married. My marital status is no one's business and the whole be thing is meaningless and irrelevant.

I couldn’t get worked up about this. It is what it is. It’s a formal way of addressing someone. It would be odd to call someone by their last name and first name is inappropriate in some settings.

I agree. Miss and Master until we're 16, Mrs and Mr after that.

I was Ms before I got married and Ms since. And Ms sounds too much like Miss, so I have to say 'Mizz, M S'. Only changing to Mrs when we get married is so antiquated.

I'm a Ms but will leave the title drop down blank if I'm allowed to. I don't see the need for any titles.

I quite like the cultures, Indian for example, when older members of society are accorded the title "Auntie". It appeals to me, and doesn't have the connection to marriage which some find annoying or irrelevant.

I’ve been a Miss my entire life. I’m very happily married but I will change my title when it becomes the standard thing for men to do upon marriage too.

It’s sexist and outdated and belongs to a time when women became their husband’s property upon marriage. If it’s so useful for people to know if one is married, when do men not get an identifier of being married too?

One title for all adult women would be sufficient.

Men don't have to advertise their marital status constantly.you don't even know if its a 6 month old or 60 year old.

I was in a bad mood one day and was totally unforgiving. A call from some entity or other. "Are you Miss or Mrs.? WTAF I was raging (hormonal perimeno and all that). I said I would rather not say and did not want a title. "But we must put a title" Why? said I, "The computer won't accept anything without one". OK put whatever you think I am I don't care.

The poor call centre person. I felt so guilty, but I was mad as hell. I am not defined by my status. There is no equivalent decision required of men. That's what annoys me intensely if the truth be told. Am on HRT now and much calmer!

For interest, how do your childrens (if you have them) teachers address you? How would you like them to address you?

Won’t someone think of the gender fluid people. 😂

You don’t have to specify. Lots of women just continue to use Miss or Ms, if asked, even after marriage, just like many women don’t change their surname if they get married anymore.

Totally sexist. Passport forms don’t even have master anymore so all men are Mr whatever their age but still have miss Mrs and Ms. just make everyone Ms and we will all soon get used to it! I go by Ms now even though I’m happily married and have been for a couple of decades. Antiquated system from the days when it was important for people to know if we “belonged” to our fathers or a husband! I’m amazed it hasn’t been addressed yet!!!!!

I completely agree. I wish we would just drop the whole thing altogether. Who cares? Although I will get berated now by the "i'm proud (of what?!) to be a Mrs crowd".

Argh, I hear you. I got married a few months ago. DH moved in and when he registered with my GP, the form asked him to list other relatives registered at the same surgery. So basically, they found out I was married, and changed my title to Mrs, although they haven't changed my surname so now I feel like they are addressing my mum in any correspondence! It's really, REALLY odd.

I am Ms (Birth surname).

Some people like it some don't, when they ask answer you don't like to be referred to as a title if you don't but lots of people do so for those who do it's relevant.

@Arucanafeather I filled the form in for my DD first passport and put her down as "Ms". When she is older I will explain it is no-ones business apart from family and friends whether she is married.

@Sapphire387 write a letter to the practice manager and state that they have recorded your title and names incorrectly. Then give them your correct title and all your names. Remind them they have a duty under the Data Protection Act to keep correct personal information about you.

It's annoying. I am ms