To not find Miss/Mrs/Ms relevant today

[helenabonhamfarter]

In the modern world why do I have to specify if I'm married or not.
Why is it relevant?
Every website wants my title
Even the dry cleaner when I drop my washing off asks "is that Miss or Mrs?"

Why is first name and last name insufficient?
I do have a professional title which I can wheel out which is gender neutral and do so if I want to get arsey but seriously why are we doing this???

Your solution is not workable, and it's interesting that you lay the blame on those of us who won't use Mrs rather then those who won't give it up. After all, if they'd use Ms, a title that actually is intended to be neutral, that would solve everything.

I’ve never given it much thought tbh other than when there’s a really long drop down for ‘title’ with everything like Baron, Dr, Viscount and Mx. I quite like that rather than the usual Mr, Mrs, Ms & Miss despite selecting Mrs.

I also hate the fact the NHS for example want to know my ethnicity. I do understand certain medications work differently on different ethnicities but it still really pisses me off lol

Ms is perfect. I've been single, been married and divorced - never needed to think about it.

I always address parents/carers as Mr, Miss, Mrs etc but they love to reply saying hello Sprouts, as if I also haven't earned the professional courtesy to use Mrs Christmas. It infuriates me (probably unreasonably 🤣) but I continue to reply to emails as Mrs Christmas and they just continue using my first name. I find it very rude and odd since their children know me as Mrs Christmas, not Sprouts, so I'm not sure why they'd jump to using my first name anyway.

40 years ago I was an IT consultant at a bank in Aldgate, London. One of the bank staff wanted to sens me a memo. Said to send it to 'Newt B' and the project. According to bank policy he couldn't send it without it being addressed to either Miss or Mrs. If I'd banked with them I'd have closed the account. Bad enough that cheque accounts were in the new system and standing order payments outside it. Thought it was completely ridiculous.

I'm officially Dr but I usually use Ms (outside of work) and have done my whole life- married, single, young, old.

Interesting that you pronounce both Miss and Ms the same.

Here it's more Miss and Mizz. Hence why I don't really like the latter.

I'm 43 and I still think Mrs makes women sound really old! 🤣 I much preferred being a Miss.

Yes, to all of this. Also letters from businesses, like banks, etc. don't generally use titles in the US.

I'm also in the Southern US where often Miss, Ms. and Mrs. are pronounced the same (Miz). That makes if even easier.

I am pretty old and have had to stop younger colleagues and college interns at work from calling me Ms.Firstname, though. I am fine with everyone, including people in call centers and customer service calling me by my first name, but I recognize that often young people find it hard to call someone their grandmother's age by her first name.

newtb It is surprisingly hard for most banks to agree to you not having a title. They get all bothered and it messes up their systems. One thought it was impossible until I said I would just have to invest my 85k elsewhere 😂

I agree that it should be age related. Miss for children and Mrs for adult women.

I've got a professional title.
But also didnt change my Miss to Mrs. But some companies know I'm married.
But usually select Ms when entering new correspondence.

So I have mail with 4 different titles on it.

I find it very odd when in Britain to be expected to specify a title.

My theory about this is that there are so many more possibilities in the UK than in the US. When you have Lord, Lady, Sir, Dame, Duke, Prince, and such, titles seem much more important.

In the town I've just moved away from recently, I used to read the town council minutes to see what was going on. They used to give me the absolute rage. In the list of attendees, the women had their title in brackets. The men did not. So it would be like:

K White
P Brown
(Miss) C Green
(Mrs) R Black
J Pink

Why why whyyyyyyy is this necessary or appropriate?

@TooManyPJs you actually believe married women deserve more respect? WTF?

@BigWoollyJumpers through a couple of decades of school my children's teachers called me by my name, why wouldn't they?

I've always hated it.

Also often receive letters/emails such as for quotes I've received - they assume Mrs if they've not asked.

Married women who use Mrs don’t necessarily think that there is a problem. Using the senior title for everyone works in other European countries. In fact, it even works here. Most women don’t insist on Ms or Miss instead of Madam.

In emails they initially use Ms as that is on the records. They then usually sign off with first name, as do I so it changes to first names. I introduce myself by my first name in person and that is my preference.

Completely agree. I have a name, just use that. Same goes for pronouns to a certain extent - they can be avoided most of the time by using a persons name.

Perhaps if I remarry I will want my title back but for now it bugs me

My DD's both use ms at present, they also plan to retain their name after marriage

@BigWoollyJumpers

I use my first name whenever asked, even my kids teachers called me by my first name (lots of contact due to sn). I generally ignore people if they call me Mrs or ms last name because I'm not used to it. My friends use a shortening of my first name whereas acquaintances and professional contacts use my full name

Being a widow makes me even more determined to keep my ‘Mrs’. I don’t have much else left and I resent being told that it’s unimportant and doesn’t matter. If it doesn’t matter to you you’re free to call yourself whatever you want, but leave my title alone please.

Isn't it just a way of knowing how to address you? I don't want people I don't know to call me by my first name. So it's Mrs Monday (or Miss or Ms or Dr or Professor or whatever).

Because men are Mr no matter what their marital status is,