To say DS won't comply with school uniform?

[LegoVsFoot]

For context, school has been terrible about communication so far - not responding to any emails, cancelling a registration day only an hour in advance, etc.

I checked the uniform policy - nothing on website. On the uniform retailer page, there were guidelines, but nothing about boys' trousers and nothing for sale, so I figured there were no restrictions. I bought DS some plain trousers over the summer.

It's now about a week before school starts and a school Whatsapp has been set up. I asked about the uniform just to make sure and a parent with a child already enrolled has replied saying they're only allowed to wear grey uniform trousers from Next or M&S.

It’s too late to return what I bought and I don’t have the funds to buy all new clothes simply because school didn’t bother to tell parents the uniform.

AIBU to send him in in what I bought because there is no information stating differently?

Can someone explain to me why there are so many unkind comments. This Mum didn't go out to get the wrong uniform she made a mistake. Perhaps she didn't see anything on line and wasn't able to contact the school by phone, but it's not up to us to be judge and jury.

I have to say, I have never seen a boy wearing blue school trousers except in one of the very expensive private schools. Every other school has black or grey. If you were not sure and are not well off, it would have been better to wait until the school opened and you could ask. Or even ask on here - everyone would say "do not buy blue school trousers". And I am sorry - I honestly do not believe you were not able to see the colour of the trousers on social media anywhere. There will be a facebook page and numerous other places where you would have seen them. I would love you to PM me the name of the school so I could satisfy my curiosity on this, Anyway - do NOT send him in wearing blue trousers. Send him in with black and a note to explain what has happened.

My ds’s at our local state comp wear navy blue trousers. That part of this story isn’t unbelievable .

What have the other parents on the WhatsApp said.
mare you in a situation you actually can’t afford them?

In all likeliness it’s a lazy journalist from a shitty paper making up a story, to write about the next day. It’s happening more and more here and people are getting a bit fed up of it.

Sure, I can explain. The problem is not the mistake. The problem is not rectifying the mistake.

@SallyB392 my doubt has to do with the fact OP claims to be in London. In an outstanding school and had admission before the summer holiday (claims she tried to make contact before the holiday) but lives 20 mins away.

Usually, the outstanding primary schools in London have a 200-400 METER catchment area for new students. Not 20 mins away. Even walking that is a good mile. For an outstanding primary school in London, I find that highly doubtful.

Again as she claims the school to be outstanding I highly doubt there is none of the things she claims to be not present = phone number for example - uniform list. pictures of their children on the website. These are things an outstanding school would have.

From what I have seen, there has been no explanation for how a WhatsApp list has been set up, but she has no communication with the school.

People have offered ways of finding the telephone number - this has not been acknowledged that I have seen. Nor have suggestions to ask the mother already with children in the school what the number is.

Additionally, I am a NON-British mother myself with children who have been through the British school system. it IS hard to learn something others have just got as knowledge. However, EXACTLY because it is hard you check.. and double-check and triple-check. You don't just take a random guess. Also, a poster here offered to send her age 5 trousers this was not even acknowledged yet she claims to have no money for new trousers. I am aware not everyone would feel comfortable taking those but an acknowledgement is worth it when done.

Poster from my point of view at best wanted to be told "it's fine hun you do you" However, that is not how schooling works in the UK... There has been plenty of suggestions for how she can source grey school trousers. What to do with the ones already purchased yet again this has not been acknowledged. OP did not want solutions she wanted to be told she was right. At worst wanting to stir something up.

Those are my reasons for posting as I did - though I do not feel I was rude or unkind.

You can always tell it's a goady post when the OP doesn't come back after they've been completely owned.

That is so kind, thank you for the offer x

I have worked in a role in central London involving regularly visiting schools. I can't think of one school where I couldn't contact them by telephone. I'm all for benefit of the doubt usually, but I find this case very odd. OP if you are genuine, there are a whole range of organisations you can contact for help with uniform - start with your MP's office, they should have details. You will have no problem getting an offer of grey trousers on any local parenting FB group too.

Another thing... Consider a call to Ofsted regarding the phone situation - if there is no number and if the communication is so terrible with families in an outstanding school, Ofsted need to know this!

What have the other parents on the WhatsApp said.
mare you in a situation you actually can’t afford them?

There were just a few messages from other parents asking for links to buy them, whether they would be delivered in time and more questions about what was allowed.

Realistically we wouldn't starve if I had to buy them but we are also not comfortable so I don't want to buy all new items due to their mistake. I already had to take a day off work for no reason because they rescheduled their registration day with an hour's notice because they 'forgot to add some parents to the email.'

Someone said we must be affluent recent ex pats but I never said any of that (?!), just that I am originally not from the UK.

As of this moment school has still not given any information. Not every family is on the Whatsapp group.

I guess the rude comments are from people who don't mind disorganisation and poor communication, maybe they have lots of extra time and money, but that is not every person.

And thanks for those with reasonable comments!

Sorry I cross posted with OP clarifying that they haven't recently moved. Good for admitting it OP.

Now, change the trousers and get on with your day?

What an absolute fuss over nothing. This would have occupied 5 minutes in my day; a bit of moaning over poor communication from the school and off to ebay to sell the existing trousers, and pop into Asda to get another pair.

*I guess the rude comments are from people who don't mind disorganisation and poor communication, maybe they have lots of extra time and money, but that is not every person.

And thanks for those with reasonable comments!*

what about those of us who HAVE offered to help you find the information on the school website? The things you look for are statutory requirements on a website (I do know this, it’s part of my job) and the school would NOT get an outstanding from Ofsted with a non compliant website. DM me the website and I’ll show you where to find the info that you DO need for the future.

I'd probably buy a couple different pairs and keep them as emergency spares. Unless the school is particularly picky they would probably let a reception child get away with this until they wear out, ruin or grow out of them, which will likely not take long!

Exchange the trousers for the correct colour if poss. Your child won’t want to stand out as having the wrong uniform.

I missed that this was primary school. You can't possibly be 20 min from an outstanding primary in London and get in. People a 0.5 mile walk from ours didn't get in, and a school a bit further away has catchment of 250m. The standard uniform sites all have shorts and trousers, I've just looked up 10 local schools and every one of them has trousers. Not all in stock now, and supermarket ones are better, but you can still see the trouser colours. I don't believe any state primary in London would specify which brand of trouser. Something doesn't add up, but I understand people like to alter some details to be less identifiable.

Uniform isn't as strict in primary, they might allow black for the first few terms depending on the school. We also have a different colour for PE days and forest school day so 3 days/ week isn't grey anyway but a different colour. If they're unworn then I'd still swap if possible to not have DS stand out. Schools round here all have lots of cheap "small contribution to PSA" secondhand and supplies get offered regularly to anyone without full uniform, so you might be offered if you really can't afford more. There was tons put out last autumn term at DS school (he was in the nursery so we passed it all).

There is no reason the OP can’t exchange the trousers for the right colour other than sheer bloody mindedness.

But then it’s all fairly improbable as an issue

Bloody mindedness is unlikely as a reason someone can't do an exchange.

How about - lost the receipt, taken the tags off, washed the clothes already, over the returns window. The time and effort and energy and cost involved in going into town back to the shop you got them from, maybe even bought them from another town not thinking about the need for an easy return. I know this has perplexed me before. Once I bought something from Primark, realised when I got home it was a size too small but it would have cost me more than the cost of the item to get a tram into town to change it, so I just kept it, DS wore it for 3 months and I put it away for his younger brother.

Call it ADHD tax if you like. I'm sure non-ADHD people have these problems sometimes too.

Completely agree ….. and have you noticed OP has now thanked that poster for the offer of trousers just after you’ve posted this?, but actually 24 hours after the offer 🤔

Come on OP - either fess up to your ridiculous story, tell us the school so we can help you properly or actually take advice being offered.

Personally, I don’t believe this to be true - as I’ve said twice already, and so have others, NO school doesn’t show phone number or uniform details 🤷‍♀️

I referred in an earlier post about St Mary's Bryanston Square school in London Link as I chose it at random but couldn't find a contact number for them.

Thanks to your post, I have found their contact number on the website now, but only by going to Key Information then Statutory Information then Contact Information.

How anyone without the knowledge that schools have to disclose their telephone number by regulation would ever find that, I don't know!

It's also there right under About Us > Contact us. Not hidden at all.

And even if it was hidden, you get straight there with a Google search.