To say DS won't comply with school uniform?

[LegoVsFoot]

For context, school has been terrible about communication so far - not responding to any emails, cancelling a registration day only an hour in advance, etc.

I checked the uniform policy - nothing on website. On the uniform retailer page, there were guidelines, but nothing about boys' trousers and nothing for sale, so I figured there were no restrictions. I bought DS some plain trousers over the summer.

It's now about a week before school starts and a school Whatsapp has been set up. I asked about the uniform just to make sure and a parent with a child already enrolled has replied saying they're only allowed to wear grey uniform trousers from Next or M&S.

It’s too late to return what I bought and I don’t have the funds to buy all new clothes simply because school didn’t bother to tell parents the uniform.

AIBU to send him in in what I bought because there is no information stating differently?

It's been a very long time since I had a child at this school but I had cause to check a couple of months ago what their current uniform colours are as I still had some unworn items of uniform that I considered donating to the school's second hand shop.

I was surprised to see how rigid their uniform policies appear to be and the introduction of blazers (and these aren't cheap ordered through the required supplier).

I remember that just a year or two after my child had started, the required shirt colour changed from bog standard white school shirts that you could buy from any store to expensive blue striped shirts that could only be bought through the PTA store and the jumper colour changed from pale grey crewneck jogger tops to V neck navy jogger tops (a more practical colour but still with a printed logo in the child's house colours (so you still couldn't buy a generic chain store top). The new navy tops were a hideous cut - very wide at the chest but short in the body and with very baggy sleeves. They did not seem to fit any body shape well. Also the white games shirts (which were better quality and were often pinched from the changing rooms) also had to have the house logo printed on them - so again, you could not buy these from chain stores, either.

It seems far stricter, now. The PTA still runs a second hand store and parents on a tight budget may apply for assistance with uniform costs. But it's not right that for a state school so many items of uniform are being custom produced for the school and obtained from a single named online retailer or a single local outlet, or that some basic uniform items like trousers and skirts should be specified as coming from M & S. I can no longer access the online retailer without a log in, but when I looked a couple of months ago, I think the non optional blazers were from £36. Which would be a significant amount for some families on top of a winter coat/jacket. The school bus is reserved for certain years, only, so many kids walk or bike to school - so would need a blazer plus a coat/jacket/raincoat.

Since none of the unused items I had were now regulation, I dropped them off at a charity shop instead.

School uniform shuld be scrapped. All this crap about whether trousers are grey or black, whether shoes are actually trainers and therefore not allowed, how long someone's skirt is, actually wastes schools' and parents' time and a lot of kids would learn better if they were just allowed to wear comfortable clothing.

@LegoVsFoot

We have been the immigrants. Totally different system, language, rules, social norms. You have my sympathy in trying to work your way through the primary school minefield while still trying to work out the best place to do your grocery shopping!

Top tip by the way. Do stick to supermarket trousers. There is a good chance your DC will come home wearing someone else's at some point (changing after PE).

Many countries don't have school uniform at all. Even where there is a uniform the rules around it may be far less prescriptive eg specific coloured polo shirt but no strong rules on trousers/skirts/shorts.

Given the OP hasn't been able to find the school's trouser colour policy it is quite possible she has been given duff information by the other parent.

The label inside doesn’t matter - as mentioned upthread someone has misunderstood an earlier communication about trousers. However colour is more important. There would be a uniform policy available. I would send your child in in what you have bought, explain to their teacher and replace with the right colour when you can.

In Primary schools uniform is advisory not compulsory unless it is an academy.

The idea is to help the poorer children blend in and for those better off, to not stand out, however it is totally flawed! Especially given how expensive it's become

Sadly I think you’re right …

Different isn’t fun for a young kid.
Different is SHIT. It’s a shit sandwich served up every day with a smiling parent who gushed ‘don’t worry what they think, it’s good to be different.’
Maybe as a 30 or 40 something. Not as a kid I can assure you.

I have never even seen blue school trousers.

Every primary school I know of (public, accademies and religeous but I dont know any private schools) allow them to be black or grey as long as they are standard school trousers, shorts or skirt.

Dresses can be grey, black or blue gingham school dresses all shirts/polos must be white and shoes black.

Its only the emblemed jumpers than need to be ordered. They cant enforce that you have to buy the rest at a specific shop.

Oh, and the school ties in house colours for both boys and girls have changed over the years from standard ties to clip-on ties only - so even a couple of unwanted house colour ties could not be dropped off at the second hand store.

I agree with you re blazers. And I don't see why girls should wear ties (we are not in the 30s at Malory Towers) but I suppose they avoid girls unbuttoning their shirts/blouses too low for the schools' liking.

No point me complaining directly to the B of Gov since it's years since I had a child at that school.

If there is no information about trousers on the school website, then surely any trousers are fine? Maybe they have decided in a cost of living crises, trouser colour doesnt matter - which is entirely sensible!!

Or maybe they were a non-uniform school until recent years and then introduced a specific polo shirt and sweatshirt but have never had any rules about any other garments. If it is a non-denominational schools that is more likely to be the case.

Navy, I guess.

We have a state primary nearby with brown 😲

Lots of very poor people live in central London.

No, the complaint would be that the school didn't inform parents of what colour trousers were required, despite numerous attempts to enquire with them directly, leading to some parents finding out on the grape vine 5 days before the start of term, when they'd already done all their shopping, that they'd bought the wrong trousers.

Yes but the whole point of the thread is that they didn't specify it. Despite repeated direct enquiries.

Even now, OP only has some other woman (I'm assuming she hasn't met)'s word to go by. She can't be sure whether the grey trousers are a firm rule, a guideline, or perhaps last year's rule that has now been scrapped in favour of a free-for-all on trousers. So if, after not giving any information to new starters, the school were to insist on enforcing grey trousers, it would indeed be extremely unreasonable.

Lol!!! Any school with this rule has too much time on their hands

To answer your question. Send him in in black.
If you can, get him some grey ones when you can.
School won't mind, especially short term.

Forget for a moment who’s right or wrong. Yes it is difficult when you’re new to the whole school thing to know what you don’t know. Yes this school sounds crap at communicating.

But, your son is starting primary school, this is a big deal and nerve-wracking for him. Buy him a pair of grey trousers so he fits in and doesn’t feel upset and self-conscious.

Maybe check out ebay / charity shops or ask around if there are any local second hand uniform sales. Our local mums Facebook group sometimes offers free uniform, perhaps there is something like that?

If you suspect a troll report to Hq let them investigate.^

No I didn’t! I believed OP genuinely thought giving the name of the school would be outing.

I think you need to stop being petulant, and exchange the trousers. It’s not fair to send your child to a new school in the wrong colour trousers. If you genuinely can’t afford it, sell yours on FB marketplace, and buy some grey ones on marketplace.

Unfortunately you’ve made the mistake.There is no way you haven’t seen any children in the uniform, seen pictures of the uniform, seen a phone number for the school etc.

There will have been at least one way to have seen that your child needs grey trousers.

Our primary school chose an expensive online ‘named supplier only’ instead of letting parents source cheaper uniform from supermarkets, because the expensive supplier pays the school £1 commission for every single item of uniform ordered. Found out from a teacher.

😡

To me, that’s bribery of public officials, and an illegal secret commission - but the school doesn’t see it that way.

Yes but the whole point of the thread is that they didn't specify it.

No it isn't.

OP literally asks if they are BU to tell school her child won't comply.

That is the point of the thread.

Not why they didn't know, or what school should have done. OP asks a very specific question related to not getting their child grey trousers.

This is a very clear breach of the statutory guidance. If following the school’s complaints procedure does not work you can complain directly to the DFE.

Course it could be outing.

2 form entry- 1 of 60.

Boy- 1/30

Kid who has no siblings in school 1/15

It wouldn't Take that much to narrow down further with people who attended the same school also on MN

Different isn’t fun for a young kid.

At the beginning of term, there could be children not wearing the uniform at all. The newly arrived, kids who’ve got in from the waiting list, kids who’ve got in on appeal, kids who are on waiting lists for other schools . I would expect the first couple of weeks to be in a state of flux anyway.

I don't understand why OP hasn't explained why she can't exchange them for grey.

But yes if you are from a non-uniform country, it is quite an adjustment. My dd went off to school today with blue hair and Doc Martens and the idea of moving back to England and wearing a skirt and blazer is baffling to her. I expect most of the parents I know here wouldn't just understand how it works.

Also assuming blue means navy, it's a less popular colour but not unheard of, and in some countries it's quite popular so from that perspective, it's not such an odd choice.