To ask how you feel as the OW

[Hurt1987]

I’ve name changed as I’ve got friends who know my regular username but I’m not ready to discuss this in real life as my DH cheated on me earlier this year and I’m really struggling to come to terms with it. I’ve done the opposite of what everyone on here suggests and have stayed. Mainly for the kids. It’s hard to just walk away. Anyway that aside, I want to know how the other woman feels. Unfortunately, without going into detail, I have to see her every bloody day!! It’s hard! I’m embarrassed! I know I shouldn’t be but I feel like a mug for still being married to him and her knowing that I’ve chosen to stay. I just want to know if she’s embarrassed too? Is she mortified for being caught? Is she embarrassed that I know what she has done. Is she worried I’ll tell her DH? Is she annoyed that he’s chosen his wife? It’s driving me crazy and I suppose I just want to know that she’s feeling crap too or if you’re the OW are you not bothered about these things? My profession means I have to be dignified and say nothing but my god I want to out her behaviour to the world! Please help me make sense of this. Hopefully some OW are on here and can give me an insight into how your brain is wired because I really don’t understand it.😡

I think it would depend on the woman, some women would feel bad, some wouldn't, only that person can tell you. X

Wow! Thank you all for your messages. I guess it’s made me realise that in the majority of cases the OW doesn’t care about the wife which has reinforced how much I hate her! Knowing that she’d be slightly remorseful would make it slightly easier to swallow. Urgh!

Also, I can’t bring myself to tell my management team because I know as soon as I do my marriage is over and I’m not ready to think about that just yet

I think you need to more question your DH. You don't know what he's said to her. He might have cast you in a bad light to OW. He's the one who broke his vows and owed you loyalty be angry at the person who betrayed you.

The OW will feel powerful, in the sense that she has some control over your husband.

However, there is nothing clever about sitting on married dick. It's pretty disgusting and shows you just how below the bar their morals are.

I’ve been on both sides of this - my marriage ended when my ex cheated with a woman half his age, but I never once blamed her as she wasn’t the one who made commitments to me, that was all on my ex.
I was online dating and met a guy who was totally honest saying he was in a bad marriage (no idea how true this was!) and was looking for a FWB type scenario which at the time worked for me as I wasn’t looking to get serious. I can honestly say I rarely thought about his wife - that was his issue to deal with, but I also wasn’t looking for him to leave her for me and knew exactly what the situation was and it was never going to go beyond sex and chat.
I ended things when I was ready to be in a committed relationship again and I met my current partner - who I am completely faithful to.

Psychopaths are not rare. Roughly 4.5% of people are psychopaths, including many materially successful people. That's roughly 1/20 people.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8374040/

They are shitty, inadequate people OP. Don't give her any head space. The bitch isn't worth it.