I will start by saying DH is very hands on and we share childcare 50/50 so he is with our DD (aged 8) just as much as me perhaps slightly more if I'm with the younger child. Not sure if this is two separate problems or one has created the other.
- DD has been very challenging the past while, attitude, answering back, telling lies, attention seeking. One big area is to do with school work she hates writing and when asked to do homework it is always a major tantrum and tears. She is generally very emotional, always has been and I think very low self esteem. She will have meltdowns after school or her hobbies because someone did not want to sit beside her (she takes everything personally), if someone says something nice she says they are being sarcastic. How do I help her negative mindset?
- Next my DH seems to be triggered with DD non stop moaning and negativity. He is quick to tell her to stop or even shout at her or send her to her room for how she is behaving and then I have to intervene. No matter how many times I tell him to stop reacting to everything she does he can't help it and constantly snipes at her. Further to this he has high standards for her in terms of education but to the point where she completed work all over the summer which included many tears and tantrums, however when he does the work with her he belittles her or gets annoyed if she doesn't know something, he will act like she's dumb. This is because she is sitting at average in school and he says she is lazy.
I am worried that she will not improve if he continues to act this way towards but he will not stop. I have tried to keep them at a distance from each other but this is hard because he does so much with her on a day to day basis and although she has loads of nice qualities she is really tough work and so we both need a break at times.
I really don't know what to do anymore.