To not be forced into this performative nonsense?

[Onlyforcake]

I am at the admittedly busy park. Two women were very loudly doing hide and seek near the bench I am sat on. I put in my ear plugs and did my best to block it out. I'm not great with people. My own child is quietly digging in the sand, I was fixing our kite.

Anyway one of these grown women does a whole theatrical shush to me and lies under the bench I am sat on. Giggling too. This is hugely uncomfortable for me. People across the park are staring which makes me nervous, she's fidgeting lwhich shakes the bench I'm also very conscious of her head really close to my backside. A woman who had sat at the far end of the bench just got up and walked away, which i probably should have. AIBU to think this was totally unnecessary on her part? She's gone now, to the other side of the park. I really hope my son gets bored soon so I can leave altogether.

Ugh the ‘I couldn’t get worked up about that…’ bollocks. Wtf? Some loon jostling under your arse shushing you whilst you’re sitting quietly minding your own business in a park?

YANBU op. Some people are completely irritating dipshits with no self awareness.

Me being on the couch is neither here nor there, same as the park bench - it's an object made for sitting on in an area that's made for kids to play in. So kids, and some adults, will probably play on or around them. It's the location.

There have always been people who have no consideration for others, this is not some new phenomenon. And as I said, she wasn't unreasonable to feel uncomfortable with it, she's entitled to feel that, just as the person under the bench was entitled to use the public bench at the same time (albeit in a really stupid way).

Nope, sorry, still don't agree @GeekyThings . I think the word 'entitled' (which is a word I usually hate) is appropriate here. I think it's a little bit about respect and, as adults, we have to teach our children how to behave respectfully. I don't believe that this woman was at all respectful to the OP placing herself in a ludicrous position with her head inches away from the OPs backside. I think some of these responses may have been very different had this person been a man. He'd have been called a 'weirdo/perv' etc but I'm afraid that I don't think that being a woman means that her ridiculous behaviour was any more appropriate.

Most folk know how to conduct themselves, with or without their children, in a park or not.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one I'm afraid.

Sounds very annoying. Some peoples social education hasn't taught them not to impose themselves on other people constantly.

I know someone like this though (the hiding mum) and potential audience situations can be very tedious.

And fart.

Just like that famous MN poster.

You sound incredibly uptight. Just unclench a bit and try interacting with your child in the sand pit, you'll soon stop noticing this sort of thing.
To be fair, these mums were in the park. You cannot complain about people playing in the park

What's wrong with that?!? It's funny! She sounds like a hilarious Mum!

Uabu for calling anyone's behaviour performative parenting. I genuinely hate that phrase. Maybe her behaviour was stupid or inappropriate but it's super arrogant to think that anyone behaves with their kids in a particular way just to make an impression on others.

She sounds fun but you'd have to be in the mood.

If it made you uncomfortable, why didn't you just get up and leave?

I think the performative aspect was for your benefit. How bonkers would it be if an adult was sitting next to you on a bench then casually stands up and climbs underneath it, just laying there with their head under your arse?
I don't think you were really expected to do anything.

@ThisIsNotAFlyingToy

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes I super push myself and am confident in a park , other times like to sit back with a friend or alone but never have come across this kind of weirdo. Even my boys would run back to get that weirdo away from their mum. Honestly that's crazy

I'm an extrovert but that would have annoyed me.

I’m actually amazed that people are accusing the OP of being uptight and a killjoy here.

It was weird, socially inept behaviour from the woman who decided that the OP had to participate in her game. Everyone else in the park was probably feeling bad for the OP/feeling glad it wasn’t them/worrying she might bother them next.

It’s got nothing to do with being a ‘fun mum’ or liking engaging with your kids. It’s about not respecting basic social rules in how you engage with adults. And, in doing so, failing to teach your children how to play without causing problems for other people and other key social skills. Children need to learn how to play amongst other children without steamrolling over everyone else’s games and activities. This woman is showing her child that it should all be about her game, no matter what.

Even if you're great with people this level of performative parenting is beyond annoying. Honestly.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Applause. Really?

She crawled under the OP’s bench. How was the OP supposed to ‘not join in’?

I don't mind and actually quite like to see parents playing with their children, but trying to rope strangers minding their business into it is rude. I think I have one of those faces, if I'm in a good mood I don't mind playing along but if I'm depressed the last thing I want is to have to put a smile on and indulge someone else's child. Parks are for everyone to enjoy, and yes that means letting children play, but it also means letting other people enjoy them how they want to

It’s incredibly patronising for all this judgment of so called “performative parenting” when they likely don’t give a shit about what randoms in the park think of them while they are tying to play with their children.

I can be silly with my child but not so much in public!
This is actually a really unnecessary viewpoint, there is nothing wrong with being silly with your children in public.

I think, just be reading some of these posts, we know the type of people who do this. 😂 Let's face it, a vast majority of us are silly with our children, but those that carry on like this (involving other people, pantomime behaviour) are not doing it for their children, they're doing it for other adults to see how 'amazing' they are.

So this mum actually went out and PLAYED with her kid and you found her putting on a show/performing?

She might have thought you were a mum that couldn’t even be arsed to play with her own kid...

You could have just up and left. The world doesn't revolve around you being socially inept. And you dont have to be a social person either. But dont be putting another mum down just because she went all out playing with her kids

I prefer seeing that than seeing all these mums at playgrounds not even looking up from their phones
Ever.
..

Because she was already sitting there, fixing her child's kite? No one should make someone else feel so uncomfortable that they need to move. The woman put her head inches from the OPs arse.

She was fixing her child's kite.

Why should she move because some imbecile chose to put her head underneath the OPs arse? That is far more 'socially inept' (as you unkindly called the OP) than minding your own business on a park bench.

Being a twat or spending the entire time looking at a mobile phone are not the only two options when playing with your child, you know that, right?

You could have just up and left. The world doesn't revolve around you being socially inept. And you dont have to be a social person either. But dont be putting another mum down just because she went all out playing with her kids

1. why should the person sitting in a bench fixing a kite (so actually helping her child!) have to move?
2. It’s not the OP who is ‘socially inept’ here. It’s the woman who doesn’t realise that interrupting other people and forcing them to become part of your game. Or recognising totally normal expectations about personal space.
3. The OP is autistic. This is a shitty comment to make to an autistic person.
4. Most people manage to play with their kids without inconveniencing the other park users.