To not be forced into this performative nonsense?

[Onlyforcake]

I am at the admittedly busy park. Two women were very loudly doing hide and seek near the bench I am sat on. I put in my ear plugs and did my best to block it out. I'm not great with people. My own child is quietly digging in the sand, I was fixing our kite.

Anyway one of these grown women does a whole theatrical shush to me and lies under the bench I am sat on. Giggling too. This is hugely uncomfortable for me. People across the park are staring which makes me nervous, she's fidgeting lwhich shakes the bench I'm also very conscious of her head really close to my backside. A woman who had sat at the far end of the bench just got up and walked away, which i probably should have. AIBU to think this was totally unnecessary on her part? She's gone now, to the other side of the park. I really hope my son gets bored soon so I can leave altogether.

The op is not “silly” for how she felt. How patronising and dismissive.

No one would want a full grown adult hiding under the bench near their backside. Boundaries and all that.

Op, YANBU!

eurgh

dogs always wee behind benches. That’s a gross hiding place

Not something I would do, but equally I’m‘ not sure why this needs to be such a big deal to you. She plays differently with her child than you do with yours 🤷‍♀️

Eh. The behaviour of the woman the OP described was the v epitome of ‘performative’, even trying to engage the OP

Ewww! Think of all the rubbish and dog wee and cigarette ends and everything that collects under benches.

People can be silly all they like but it is massively weird and annoying to climb under a bench that someone is sitting on! YANBU.

OP, I wouldn’t have been amused either. Bloody space invaders ambushing your peace. Grrr how bloody irksome.

Easier to embarrass them by asking what they think they're doing. They don't sound bright enough to come up with any biting comebacks.

@FabFitFifties of course it was performative. She's in a park and could have found a tree or other bench to hide under. She's clearly doing it to show what a great parent she is and its super annoying and no one cares

Not quite the same as playing with children but when my dog was a puppy and I was trying to make myself the most exciting thing in the park for her, I got up to all sorts of silly things: leaping up and down and calling her name, hiding behind trees and calling her and so on.

I probably looked like a complete prat at times, but as silly as I was being with my dog, at no time did I feel the need to invade other park users' space or annoy other people in any way.

You can be as silly as you like with your own kids in public but it should be done in a way that doesn't involve or inconvenience other people who are also trying to enjoy their own time in the park.

I'd have said "I can see you'.

Playing hide and seek, fair enough. Being less than a couple of yards away from a stranger, not.

That would irrate me too.

All for children playing with their kids, but not in such an over dramatic way invading other peoples space.

It's not ok, under any circumstances, for an adult to hide under a bench that someone is actually sitting on! Would you have been ok if this had been a man who shimmied under the bench inches from her arse?

Heavens, if anyone startled me like that I'd probably spill my water bottle.

Develop it. !! Someone invades your personal space and makes you feel uncomfortable - retaliate !! I’d definitely have farted !!

Do you have to involve other people? Can't you play with your children, even in public, without this kind of utter nonsense?

It's such a bizarre way to think that because someone doesn't indulge this kind of shite they are some kind of spoilsport.

Just bend down and say with concern, "Oh dear, I shouldn't crawl there, I've seen many doggies weeing against this bench!"

I can guarantee that anybody watching was not thinking badly of you, OP.

If they were thinking anything at all, it would have been something along the lines of: why is a grown woman crawling under a park bench that someone else is sitting on, with no regard for anyone else's personal space.

Sorry but why should op have to move? She was there first.

Sorry but imo that woman was weird. I would not like someone coming into my personal space like that either. There is a huge park. I am ND too but I know that it isn't a normal or social cue to bloody hide under a bench when someone is sat on it.

That's something a small child or dog might do. 🤔

If someone decided to sit underneath a (presumably) slatted benchI was sitting on I'd definitely tell them to get lost rather than consider moving - would she have liked it if you;d shoved your face 10cm from her childs backside?
I might have felth the need to stretch my feet inderneath the seat, or shake a can of coke before opening it.
At the very least ask the child if the weirdo shoving her nose up my backside was it's mother.

I find parents at parks often smile or catch each other’s eyes or make little comments as a kind of jokey solidarity thing.
But presumably, the attemt to 'catch the OP's eye' would have been met with a fuck off vibe, and you;d have picked up on that?

OP a very effective tactic is to simply ask, in an even and humourless tone “what are you doing?” Its direct yet essentially inoffensive, and usually enough to deflate the mood of most puckish japesters. If they feel the need to answer, you can tell them you don’t like it, it makes you uncomfortable and/or would they mind dong it somewhere else.
Obviously if they are intoxicated or seem otherwise unstable, always better to move away in a measured and calm manner.

YANBU OP, I’m not autistic and I would have been just the same. It’s just an awkward way to behave (the 2 women, not you!). I think everyone was staring your direction thinking what the hell are these 2 women behaving like that for! Tiresome.

Yanbu I really dislike people who do performative things in public and look at you for some kind of acknowledgement of their genius. In fact I'd go so far as to say it gives me the rage.

😂🤣😂🤣😂

🤣🤣🤣