To not be forced into this performative nonsense?

[Onlyforcake]

I am at the admittedly busy park. Two women were very loudly doing hide and seek near the bench I am sat on. I put in my ear plugs and did my best to block it out. I'm not great with people. My own child is quietly digging in the sand, I was fixing our kite.

Anyway one of these grown women does a whole theatrical shush to me and lies under the bench I am sat on. Giggling too. This is hugely uncomfortable for me. People across the park are staring which makes me nervous, she's fidgeting lwhich shakes the bench I'm also very conscious of her head really close to my backside. A woman who had sat at the far end of the bench just got up and walked away, which i probably should have. AIBU to think this was totally unnecessary on her part? She's gone now, to the other side of the park. I really hope my son gets bored soon so I can leave altogether.

I would have said "why are you crawling under my bum you perve" and left

The "shushing" would have got me saying "she's under the bench" straight away. If the woman wants to play hide and seek then fine, just don't assume I want to join in.

I don’t like people like this. It’s crossing the line and I don’t care, maybe I’m a miserable cow… but I don’t want anyone in my personal space like this. Even my best friend would never do that.

Why would the onus have been on OP to remove herself? The woman took it upon herself to invade OP's space - perhaps she should have been more sensitive to the fact that someone was sitting quietly on a bench and didn't want to interact in this way. Why is it always the introvert's role to somehow accommodate the actions of the extrovert? Never the other way around.

@bellac11
Absolutely!
Mir gives me such an ick!

Imagine a guy doing that lol 😂

I don’t think they were actually expecting you to do the panto thing; I think the theatrical shush was just to make it clear to you that they were playing a game, especially of they knew you had earplugs in - they probably assumed you wouldn’t hear them if they said something.

I agree they were being annoying and showy-offy though. I would have found it irritating and awkward too; it’s massively attention-seeking and a bit intrusive, isn’t it? So I say YANBU.

I get the performative shhh was annoying but would it not have been even stranger if she had simply crawled under your bench without any comment or interaction with you at all?

She sounds like a gobshite.

Snapped and farted

This is missing the point a bit, why on earth did she crawl under a bench that someone was sitting on.

Play the game somewhere else.

Sounds like someone who had a very different sense(i.e., practically no) sense of personal boundaries to you.

She's braver than me - plenty of dogs enjoy weeing on benches! Even if dogs aren't allowed no one can stop the foxes.....

I would just get up and move along. It isn't worth your energy. I am more surprised you can be arsed creating a MN post whilst on a day out in the park with your kid! That's some cool multitasking right there!

Unnecessary playing with your arse. Not good. Yes they can play in a park of course, but they don't have to get that up close and personal.

I would have said "why are you crawling under my bum you perve" and left

Right on, Chilli 😀

Ugh. It's a no from me too.

I would become very clumsy and knock my water bottle. I think it is a bit much to do this when someone is sitting on the bench. Fine if it was empty

I would have moved.

It's a sad world where people are only allowed to be silly with their kids in private. Ok, you didn't want to join in. She misjudged. All you need to do is ignore her.

I would have bent down, looked under the bench at her and said “What on earth are you doing?” Very loudly.

Hate that kind of ott behaviour.

It's bloody weird to insert yourself under a bench in a park for whatever reason. The fact that someone (the OP) was already making use of the bench makes it even weirder.

Has she never looked under a park bench and seen all the rubbish and shit that collects there?

I Agree it was performative and an extremely odd thing to do. Can't imagine what she ended up lying in. I hope she changed her clothes and had a shower when she got home.

Total weirdo, I cant stand people like her.

Same. It was really intrusive of her to lie under you. YADNBU.

Bit difficult to ignore someone crawling about under your arse. She had the whole park to be jolly silly mum in. No need to include anyone else.