To just do what I want to at weekends -DS behaviour

[Butterflysize]

Both DC are currently driving me insane. Youngest is only 18 months so probably can be given a pass. I also have a 3 year old.

I’ve arranged nice trips out for them this long weekend and I took an extra day last week to take DS by himself to a older age appropriate activity. Every single day they have done nothing but cry, whinge and whine. I’m honestly reaching the end of my tether. I just gave up and came home early today. I work full time in a high pressure job and this is my time off! I can’t stand the wailing and crying noise anymore I really can’t. DS of course made a miraculous recovery when we got home and back to the toys.

I honestly feel like I shouldn’t bother planning weekends around them anymore and just chill at home / do what I want to do. They’ll probably still cry & whinge but at lest it won’t feel like wasted effort. I was almost crying on the way home today, I’m so fed up with it. DH has to work weekends for the foreseeable future so I’m going to have to either think of something or give up trying for now.

What do others do with this sort of age at weekends if you work FT? No point in asking if everyone’s are like this, going to all these places seeing other small children makes me see evidently not! 😔

If you work FT what are the children doing during the day and for how long?

Sounds like they might be tired and want some low key contact time/play with you.

I think you'd get a lot of fun just playing at home with them, playing sorting out to clear out bedrooms etc and short park /ice cream trips

Will help you feel better too.

DD is 4.5 and honestly I’d say big trips out have only really gotten consistently fun recently. Younger than that it would be a little trip to the park or soft play then home to chill

If they enjoy playing at home and it's less stressful for you stay home with them then why put that pressure on yourself to take them out at weekends when it's not benefiting any of you? They're very young and those ages are tough going even with just one child. Stop being so hard on yourself, stay home!

They have a mixture of nursery and a nanny during the week. They are always angels at nursery, in between for nanny, nightmare for me! Which is a bit upsetting TBH as I want to spend quality time with them, although they obviously don’t understand that!

My 3 yo can't do a big day out.
We have to break the day up, out in the morning, back home for lunch and hour or two chill with toys and out in afternoon.

Things we tend to do;
Park
Lake to feed ducks
On his bike/scooter
Soft play
Swimming
Walk in the woods to collect sticks
Walk around Morrisons (he absolutely loves this for some reason)

Don't put pressure on yourself to having to do something.

If they’re in nursery/with nanny all week, spending time with you is more important to them than where the time is spent. If they’re happy at home, just go with it.

It’s not especially easier with them at home, 3 year old constantly whinges for snacks, they fight over toys and they trash the place! But as I say at least I won’t feel like I’ve wasted effort/planning /money

It's just that age, it will pass!

That is just kids sadly 😂 our homes are never the same. Once your youngest is id say 2 you'll notice a difference

I've been there. It might help to set up a weekend routine that suits you all,for example:

Meals at home - choose a selection of easy meals like toast with beans/eggs/cheese for lun
Sat morn - swimming

3 year old constantly whinges for snacks, they fight over toys and they trash the place

Well, of course, because they’re toddlers. That’s what toddlers do. A three year old and an 18-month-old are always going to be hard work.

Butterflysize · Today 13:21
It’s not especially easier with them at home, 3 year old constantly whinges for snacks, they fight over toys and they trash the place! But as I say at least I won’t feel like I’ve wasted effort/planning /money“

so, perfectly normal kids of those ages, then 😁
it will pass.

Yes I suppose normal! I seem to find it all more stressful than other mums tbh

Argh posted too soon!

Something on toast for lunch each day, sandwiches, veg sticks and yoghurt for tea

Sat morn - swimming
Sat afternoon - walk to park or round the block then home to watch TV/play with toys

Sun morn - activity with you eg baking/play at home/read stories
Sun afternoon - same as above

This helped me anyway. It's just their ages

@MrsSkylerWhite thank you 😊

@Goldfishjones I love to go swimming but don’t feel I can safely take them on my own tbh - 3 year old runs off and has slipped and hit his head before on the tiles. 18 month old I can carry into the water but then I can’t properly help both of them, which is annoying because we have a nice pool close by.

Lower your expectations! Try and have some one on one time with each DC over the weekend. They will be exhausted from childcare and unlikely to want to be dragged out at the weekend.

You're doing what you think they should be doing at lunchtime, not what they actually want to do, or can manage.

*I meant at the weekend, not lunchtime, I'm hungry and it's lunchtime and my stomach was typing

Many of my nicest memories with my daughter have been doing really small low key activities, like chucking stones into a stream near our house, or playing a make-believe game in the garden. Or visiting the free museum in town which we rode to on the bus. Or making mess with cocoa powder and flour in the garden doing pretend “baking”. She loves stuff like that and is at her happiest then. Which makes me happy.

Many of my most stressful memories are long drives to zoos / large noisy aquariums /paid for activities / soft plays etc. I think it’s the pressure that these days are “supposed to be FUN!!” and “quality family time” when often they are just a lot of hassle, crowds, high expectations and money.

Honestly this is normal OP. An 18mo and a 3yo is hard work! I agree with others - lower your expectations, try not to get stressed about the whining, do low key activities. Hang in there, it will all be easier in a year or two!

Why do you think you need to take them for day trips? Trust me you're making life harder for yourself and no one is benefiting from it. Save the odd day trip for when your partner is around too. 2 under 3 is hell and I wouldn't want to be stressed out taking them out and about all the time. A walk around the block or to the park is great. Small, not time constrained, free and can be as long if short as suits the kids. Honestly it's not you or your kids, it's just the age of them. It will get easier (a bit)

@SunshineClouds1 our activities are not especially different from your list really, I’m not taking them on big exciting trips out often. This morning was in fact bike /woods to collect sticks combined. Whinged to take bike, then cried the entire way as didn’t want to ride bike, I ended up carrying and was then so hysterical about walking got in a real mess and threw a total wobbler. Always saying I’m too tired, I don’t feel well - but then won’t have a nap or rest and seems to make a miraculous recovery when it suits!

the 18m old just cried to get out of the buggy then cried to get back in, repeat

Horrid horrid ages OP. It will get better. You will have much nicer children in a couple of years.