To just do what I want to at weekends -DS behaviour

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Both DC are currently driving me insane. Youngest is only 18 months so probably can be given a pass. I also have a 3 year old.

I’ve arranged nice trips out for them this long weekend and I took an extra day last week to take DS by himself to a older age appropriate activity. Every single day they have done nothing but cry, whinge and whine. I’m honestly reaching the end of my tether. I just gave up and came home early today. I work full time in a high pressure job and this is my time off! I can’t stand the wailing and crying noise anymore I really can’t. DS of course made a miraculous recovery when we got home and back to the toys.

I honestly feel like I shouldn’t bother planning weekends around them anymore and just chill at home / do what I want to do. They’ll probably still cry & whinge but at lest it won’t feel like wasted effort. I was almost crying on the way home today, I’m so fed up with it. DH has to work weekends for the foreseeable future so I’m going to have to either think of something or give up trying for now.

What do others do with this sort of age at weekends if you work FT? No point in asking if everyone’s are like this, going to all these places seeing other small children makes me see evidently not! 😔

If they are in childcare all week they probably just need to rest at the weekend.

Spend some time working out what routine (snacks, naps etc) and activities work for them as whining/crying will usually be down to being hungry, tired or overwhelmed.

If they both cry and whine only with you, it would suggest they trust you with their big emotions over anyone else.

Being on their best behaviour most of their week means that they might just want downtime with you.

Not the most exciting thing for you every weekend but trust them to know what's best for them. They just need you and perhaps just the safety of a familiar space because you are enough.

Might not stop their whining though. With two very different sleep patterns you could just be confined to nap followed by lunch prep followed by clear up of food and toys... it's not forever though.

They'll be 21 soon and leaving the oven on when they're rolled in from a night out and thought they'd cook pizza at 3am.

I had 2 under 2 and then 3 under 31/2.
Sounds like you're giving yourself strife.
You're still finding your way.
And you will find something that works.

I used to bringy kids out in the evening,for a hot chocolate.
They would be dressed in PJ's and then straight home to bed.

No advice, but very familiar with this.

It's awful, you have my sympathy.

Dh was off for a few weeks and Dd has a regular morning activity of P.e. Games kind of thing and swimming (she’s almost 3) We were then taking her out after that for lunch and another slightly more sedate activity. She was kanckered, she actually slept 13 hours a couple of times and asked for her pram. Towards the end of the week she would increasingly be looking worn out and grumpy so we ended up having really lazy weekends (in comparison to her weekdays, DH and I are natural couch potatoes) of just the park or softplay and coming home, bit of tv, do some puzzles and lego.

I think they just get really tired, tbh it’s usually quite difficult entertaining Dd at home and it’s often easier to take her out but even she needed some downtime at some point.

Just some baking (box mix would do) and then decorating cupcakes. Water crayons for bathtime. "Picnic for living room floor. Just stay in and recharge

When mine were that age we would do something outside for an hour or so in the morning after breakfast. Whether that's a walk in the wood, an hour at a park, a walk to the bakery to choose a bun/sausage roll/playing in the garden. My ds' favourite activity was to cover his toy cars/scooter/bike in shaving foam then used a bucket of water and a sponge to 'clean them'. Then a snack around 11 and time to play inside. Lunch at 12 then either a nap or quiet til about 2. Then another snack. Then another doing something active til tea time. After tea, a nice long bath, as long as they stay in with bubbles, toys and fun. Then pjs and supper. Teeth brush then bed and stories.

Everyone needs to be tired enough and fed enough to keep whinging at bay and get them to sleep at a reasonable hour! Mine are now 8 and 9 and I haven't seen them since 4pm as they're playing out with their friends so it does get easier :-)

Also check out if any playgroups near you do Saturday sessions- one near us did for working parents.

It's an awful age. Do they nap? Then you can get some 121 or down time. But the swings, some easy baking and a film are really fine. I used to choose a park with a good coffee stand so there was something for me.

Our library ran a simple craft session on Saturdays as well which was good- include getting some books out and that's a good bit of the afternoon done.

It will pass. Eventually.

I have a 3 (almost 4) year old and (almost) 1 year old here...

I spend a lot of time at the park, National Trust places, local RHS garden (with brilliant playground), local forest (with brilliant playground), softplay, local playground... we also spend a lot of time at home: in the garden, baking, colouring, making train tracks... etc. Sometimes it's nice to stay in and chill/have a home day and sometimes it's important to get out for my (or their) sanity!

If I go to a National Trust place or the forest, for example, I tend to time it around naps and lunchtime (aiming for a picnic lunch) and keep expectations low... we might not walk very far, I've sometimes rocked up, sat on a picnic blanket and had lunch and then gone home!

If the kids are happier staying in then stay in.

You will look back in a few years and smile at yourself because in real they are both pretty much babies. Big babies admittedly but still very, very young.

Try halving your activities and making them as simple as possible. Mine loved to be given a bowl of water to bathe the plastic animals or to “paint” the outside furniture with a big brush and a bucket of water. Virtually all meals served outside to reduce mess and stress.

Allow some screen time and allow yourself some relaxation. I hated baking and messy activities and they did them elsewhere so we did the stuff I enjoyed more.

Then get them to bed in good time and pour a glass of wine while congratulating yourself on another day you all survived.

If you are by yourself, with 2 young kids at the weekend- it’s going to be so hard for you. So please don’t beat yourself up about it!
I remember having such high expectations for mine and coming home many a times crying!
looking back- they are just so young- they don’t mean anything by it so don’t take it personally.
I would agree with others- a walk somewhere or a trip to a close park but mostly they are just probably knackered and need some time at home (which always did my head in!)
maybe put away some toys and only get them out at the weekend- having a “timetable” always helped me- so 20 mins TV, 20 mins colouring, baking, park, snack, alone time in separate rooms, reading, play dough, garden game etc, etc. It helped me more and kept them focused more which I found worked for mine. The 18 month old can still have fun in a playpen which stops them destroying the house when having “independent” time. Most of all- you need time to yourself (their “independent” times) or with a friend who is in the same situation so make sure you get one of those two options! Thankfully, they do grow out of it! And never feel bad about leaving them to their own devices as long as they are safe and your house is safe!

Oh- bath time activities also good- mine could stay in for ages if they had that soap foam stuff and bath crayons!

Thank you for posting this. I’m currently on holiday with my one year old and we’re having so many tantrums it’s just not relaxing. I’m also thinking why have we bothered. If you find the magic solution pls let me know!

Plus make forts ,baking,and DVDs.
There's no harm in having a Saturday movie/pizza day.
We all need a day to unwind,you included.

Also mine loved being in the bath for hours.
They came out looking like prunes but it really tired them out.

I have been where you are.

As a serious suggestion, change jobs to something less stressful. I realised in Covid that a lot of my 'weekend stress' was because i was so stressed from work. I am much happier now I don't have as stressful a job.

My kids are 9 and 7 now and I still don't go out with them on Saturdays. DH works Saturdays. I pretty much let my kids do what they want as long as they don't come crying to me that they're bored. I catch up with some housework and jobs. We might go to the local park in the afternoon or visit family. But nothing too busy or stressful. I save the bigger and busier days for when DH is with us on Sunday.

When they were pre-schoolers, a couple of hours was their limit for trips out. I used to hate the school holidays because they didn't like busy places and I always tried to do things with them that would be quieter. I worked part time then so it was a bit easier. Kids like routines and it sounds like yours are struggling with being out routine at the weekend, just as much as you are being home with them.

It does get easier. But don't expect so much from yourself. If it helps, your kids won't remember much from days out at this age anyway.

You sound Like a bit of a nightmare tbh

I'm sorry they are just exhausting at that age. You aren't doing anything wrong. They will be better in a year or two!

Do you have a garden? If you do, you could spend more time outside in the garden with them. Have a picnic if the weather is nice. The 3 yr old can ride a bike out there. Put up a play tent. Buy some pavement chalk.

Or have an indoor picnic. Put them both in the bath with some bubbles instead of taking them swimming. Take them to the library to choose a book. Snuggle under the duvet and read to them. Let them watch a bit of TV. Play some music and do some silly dancing. Just simple things. They'll be grown up before you know it and you'll miss the toddler days (I promise!).

You've hit a terrible combination of awful ages. 18 months and 3 are the WORST!

I agree with outside time. I take my kids clothes off and give them loads of water in varying sized containers, buckets, bowls jugs etc then let them play. If they need a refill I say yes and it takes up a good hour. They tend to be tired and dirty after that so then a good bath for an hour. TV while I cook and bam there's an afternoon of fun! I LOVE the shaving foam idea someone said.

Ask nursery for some good activities.

Playdough but make sure you sit with them. Also at 3 kids love cutting with not sharp knives so cutting strawberrys etc.

Get the five minute mum book. Got some great idea there.

Oh yes of course, I didn't mean you 'should' be swimming (or baking...not something I did more than once with an 18m old tbh!). Just examples of choosing any activity either in or out the house and doing same thing each wknd. Then you can work out what works well for you all and just repeat each weekend. It takes the thinking out of it for you and the kids know what to expect.

Although I don't think there are any magic answers at this stage really, it's mainly just survival. I've had to weekends on my own with babies and toddlers and it is a bit shit to be honest when you're knackered after a week at work!

And the trouble is if your dh is in work, it's relentless. You're always 'on' but have no one to talk to. You can't even wander up to the shop for a break, because you all have to go. I used to hide in the kitchen sometimes, just catching my breath before I heard "mummyyyyyyyy" again.

This is why SAHMs find it very frustrating when people dismiss their job as not a job.

It's a ridiculously hard age to look after/entertain/ enrich little ones lives. You just have to cut yourself some slack. The difference with doing it every day is that when you have a rubbish day or you feel you've not coped well, you can write it off, there's always tomorrow. When you're using precious annual leave, you put more pressure on yourself for the 'perfect' family days on those days you are with them.

And I'm sure they aren't angels for nanny/ nursery. They just don't tell you about every little whinge!