Hi
Mum to 2.5yr old twins here. And wanted to give some perspective on all the other well behaved children you see and wondering what's wrong with you and your children. Because my elder DS was never a problem. Not an easier child by any stretch, but we went everywhere, and had fun, no problem. And you know the key here? Ratio.
One toddler. One adult. Easy to deal with.
If I have one twin on my own and take him/her out, they behave wonderfully. Because one-on-one attention, and me nipping one toddler's behaviour in the bud, is fine.
What is not fine, is having one pair of hands when one wants to be in the buggy and one does not. They are constantly winding each other up. One's tripped over and crying, as the other simultaneously trips over. One is too tired to continue, one has just woken up from a nap and raring to go. I literally do not take them anywhere, other than to my mother's house, on my own. Not even to pop to the shops, unless it's an emergency. The park? No. It doesn't matter how attentive and alert I am, if one's decided to dart off towards a swing and the other about to fall off the slide, even SuperMum herself can not run in two directions at the same time.
If we're feeding the ducks, DM or DH is there too. Soft play? DM. Walk into town? DH.
It's rubbish because there is so much I'd like to enjoy with them, but they make it impossible, so rather than fight this, and come home harrassed after every failed attempt, we just stay home for now. And that's ok!!!!
It won't be like this forever, of course. And the acceptance of this has made it a lot easier. We've put in a big play area in the garden, I bake with them, mess about with playdoh, we're constantly covered in dirt and bits of bark from the garden, but we're at home so it doesn't matter. One's tired? No worries, off to bed for a nap. I'll have a bit of one on one time with the other.
Seriously, (as you can see from my essay) I felt really compelled to say something, because unless you've had two toddlers simultaneously, you really have no idea how much easier it is with one. It's not 50% easier. It's 100% easier. When I have one twin, it's a doddle in comparison. This is absolutely not your feral children, or your failings as a mother. You're just outnumbered by toddlers, who, don't forget, have spent the majority of their lives in lockdown, missing the social learning aspects. I still get a lot of "advice" from people with one toddler, suggesting very simple and obvious parenting techniques, as if that hadn't occurred to me.
You're doing fantastically.