To just do what I want to at weekends -DS behaviour

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Both DC are currently driving me insane. Youngest is only 18 months so probably can be given a pass. I also have a 3 year old.

I’ve arranged nice trips out for them this long weekend and I took an extra day last week to take DS by himself to a older age appropriate activity. Every single day they have done nothing but cry, whinge and whine. I’m honestly reaching the end of my tether. I just gave up and came home early today. I work full time in a high pressure job and this is my time off! I can’t stand the wailing and crying noise anymore I really can’t. DS of course made a miraculous recovery when we got home and back to the toys.

I honestly feel like I shouldn’t bother planning weekends around them anymore and just chill at home / do what I want to do. They’ll probably still cry & whinge but at lest it won’t feel like wasted effort. I was almost crying on the way home today, I’m so fed up with it. DH has to work weekends for the foreseeable future so I’m going to have to either think of something or give up trying for now.

What do others do with this sort of age at weekends if you work FT? No point in asking if everyone’s are like this, going to all these places seeing other small children makes me see evidently not! 😔

I feel you OP. The toddler cries because he hates the buggy and wants to walk, the 4 year cries because he doesn’t want to walk. Bubbles get poured onto the ground, ice creams end up in their hair. Honestly, it’s just a really tricky age, it will get easier. You’re not alone!!

I often used to work on Saturdays. But the dc would usually be up at 6, so I'd get a fair bit of marking etc done by about 10.

We used to a lot of pottering about. Bit of playing in the garden, so I could chat to neighbours etc. Used to do a family swim on Sunday mornings, then just let them play in the afternoon.

As they got older, we did more walks/bike rides etc. But often we'd over estimate their ability/ stamina and have tears. Making memories alright😁😁

You have two though very close in age, don't beat yourself up!

DS loves a big day out and is generally better out than in in terms of behaviour, but we had a week off recently and after three days out one to the zoo, one to the beach and one to visit family BBQ, pool, trampoline etc after hours swimming lesson, I said to him the next day where shall we go today? He said mummy I need to stay at home my toys have missed me! I think he needed a quiet day. Maybe try an afternoon or morning out with the clear expectation that the other half will be quiet/at home with toys etc. One of the things he loves most is helping me make dinner and unloading the dishwasher! Carwash is also a favourite...
I work ft too so I understand the temptation to cram all of the fun stuff into the time we have off, but I think quiet time at home with you will be just as appreciated sometimes

They're too little and it is largely a waste of time, money and effort, which is why it feels that way. As others have said, dial it down and please yourself more. Take the pressure off. A trip to the park or the shops or whatever you want to do is enough. Meet up with your friends if you can. Don't feel guilty. They never remember any of it anyway so don't be thinking you're letting them down. Sounds like they get plenty of stimulation in the week so can take it easier.

It's funny, but it isn't. We've been there, wow it was hard. We now have one DS who will happily do a 30k walk most days, and another who can cycle for ten hours without a break.

I think there was about a three day window when we could all do the same thing at the same pace for the same period of time.

I wouldn't change them for the world! Just wish I could keep up these days 😃

Thanks everyone for the support, seems I need to lower my weekend expectations to zero!

@Pinkdelight3 I think it would be a bit easier if I could meet up with others but generally everyone is doing family things and/or work PT so do their activities in the week. It’s a bit lonely at weekends!

Just let them do what they want, with a walk or trip to the park/shops.
Don’t make yourself miserable.

I was a stay at home mum for 2 years with two pre schoolers and was the hardest thing I have ever done. At the start my second was a new born colicky baby. Very hard for the first year. Unfortunately it is not a day off being with two young children on your own!!! ☹️☹️

I would save days out for when you have more adults.

My routine was my sanity which was breakfast, mostly an outing (e.g. baby group/ park/ errand), lunch, youngest naps whilst eldest is on I pad (me time!!! Very important), play time with me, then dinner. Thankfully daddy would then come and I would leave him with the kids.

Mine have done all the things you have said. And talking to others too is normal what you have described.

It does get easier. You have good days and your bad days. Take it a day at a time. We have all been there.

Get to the local park and let the 3 year old run around and burn off some energy. It's a tough age, hang in there

When mine were a similar age and DH worked weekends, I paid a neighbours teenage daughter for a couple of hours on Saturday morning. She joined us on outings to park, swimming etc or played with the children at home while I did chores. I did not leave her alone with the children but a second pair of hands was invaluable.

OP, I say this not because I do t think you should have had 2 kids but because of your comment about other mums managing better. This is why I DIDN’T have a second child. I didn’t want to feel like that all the time because at 3, DC a lot of the time is like that! But we only have 1 and 2 parents who are able to be around a lot so rarely doing it on my own. Not being able to take a couple hours out while DH has them and vice versa would mean I was pretty unhappy with the relentlessness. So just know, it is really hard, you’re not doing anything wrong!

OP are you perhaps expecting them to walk a bit far or bike a bit far, or walking a bit fast for them? You sound a bit like a friend of mine who wants exercise for herself at the week so insists on taking her kids out for quite long walks or cycles and then wonders why her kids don't enjoy it - she's expecting too much of them. She tries to cycle /walk to the park, then play at the park, then expect them to cycle /walk home as well - it's too much sometimes.
Also - it sounds like you aren't comfortable with the mess your kids make at home. Do you keep a very pristine home? You might have to come to terms with some clutter while your children are young, if it really bothers you can they have a designated space for their toys that they are allowed to get cluttered, while other spaces stay toy free?

Mine are about 6m younger, but are often the same. We only go out in the morning, arriving somewhere for 9am preferably and then having a couple of hours of fun, before leaving to have lunch and nap/have quiet time in the afternoon.
I cba with the upset of a full day. I feel like I've failed, because I'm trying to do something nice and everyone's upset, so we just do mornings instead. Try and plan something for yourself for the evenings while DH is away: Netflix series (The Sandman is excellent), pamper night, a little DIY project maybe, cook yourself a fancy meal and have some nice wine, a home workout - whatever you enjoy, try to make the evening quality time for you. It really is just their ages, mine are whingers too😂

They are still really little and all of this is completely normal. Kids are a pain in the butt a lot of the time - they are tired / hungry / over stimulated / under stimulated and they will be all of these things at different times when you have more than one! You just have to get through it. "Your" time is when they are in bed at the end if the day or when they are sitting in front of CBeebies or when you have someone to take them off your hands for a bit! Lower your expectations and plan things they can cope with. Bikes and scooters and buggies are difficult to juggle so be realistic about what they and you can actually manage. This won't last forever - then you will have the golden period where it's all so much easier and then after that you will have teenagers! Whole new set of issues!!

I don’t think you find it any more stressful than most mums, just others are either better at hiding their stress or they don’t admit it! I have a 6yr old and a 2yr old. We have done a couple of days out but they have mainly consisted of a walk to the park for ice cream, or by the arcades for a while and hot donuts (always have to include a snack!). The 6yr old moans when he spends his 2ps too quickly, or that it’s too hot, or too windy etc. Like yours, the 2yr old wants out of his buggy and then it is like trying to contain an excited puppy. Very stressful! But I think it’s just to get some fresh air and a break from being indoors. It will all get a little easier the older they get. Just have no expectations and take the very small happy moments as a victory!

İ did what @user1471555302 did (hired local teen to help) during the school holidays when I had three 6 and under. I'm sure it would work at weekends too.

You are doing great. I agree with the comments. Big Day trips at this young age is a big expectation. Picnics, or den making. Playing in the park by a shallow stream.picnics in the lounge with duvets and a film. Baking. A play park. Feeding ducks etc etc. I know it isn’t what you want with your day off but home is their normality and freedom. At this age they can be easily overwhelmed and a change in routine unsettling. If they are at nursery a lot they probably want to play with their own toys.
hang in there, it gets easier. The bigger day trips come in time when they are old enough to comprehend and enjoy them a little more freely.

Does DH do anything with them?

They are still very young. Definitely just do what feels most relaxed, even if that doesn't involve doing very much! My two are only 16-17m apart and at that age I honestly used to be desperate to be back into the office after the weekend for ab break! And that was with my DH around too! I think it can be particularly hard to find a nice routine during the weekend when you work FT as you don't have an everyday routine at home with them.

My recomendation would be to find other people with similar aged kids (or even better, slightly older!) to spend some of the weekend with. Just doing simple stuff like going to the park, but it's much more fun with company!

They sound tired out from a busy week. Less is more at that age in my experience so a park trip with a picnic lunch is normally good. Then a rest at home for a little while then play time. Young kids get easily tired, overwhelmed and need down time. Rather than planning big day trips plan a duck pond visit, a park visit, a beach paddle etc.

Make sure you make it clear to friends that you'd be up for weekend activities. I think it's easy to assume others are busy but in reality many work shifts or their DHs are twats and are off golfing all day (but they may not volunteer that info unless specifically asked!). In my case my DH has serious health issues and so I'm often solo parenting because he's in hospital/ bed/ just resting, but that's not obvious to everyone.

It sounds like you're maybe doing what you think they should like/ what other children their age like/ what's been marketed to you as great activities for that age group. So, yes, stop doing that stuff and do what actually makes them happy even if that's playing at home/having a daytime bath/mooching in the garden/watching the TV. Give everyone some downtime.

The idea that cuddling up on the sofa and watching a movie with your babies is lower/lesser quality time than traipsing round a forest is nonsense fueled by social media. If you're doing something together and you're all happy, it's quality time.

I think it would be a bit easier if I could meet up with others but generally everyone is doing family things and/or work PT so do their activities in the week. It’s a bit lonely at weekends!

Have you tried asking? There may well be some people who would be up for spending time together. Not everyone likes to spend their weekends just with family. We certainly didn't/don't - we often did stuff with other families.