Left on own after night out

[Youonlygetthismomentonce]

On Friday, i went on a pre- arranged night out, to an event, with my friend of over 10 years and 1 other person that she had invited along but that I know also. (Her family member)

They live in the same town and my town is about a 10 minute drive from them.

We met in my town, went to a couple of pubs first then got the train into the city.

The pre- arranged plan was for us all to get back off the train at my town and share a taxi home. However, it turned out that the train was stopping at their town first (it sometimes goes right through that stop) so my friend arranged for her and the other girl to get off there and had arranged a lift for them from their family member.

The person does not give lifts to anyone outside of their own family. So me getting in the car was not an option.

I was now worried and pissed off incase I got stranded at a dark empty train station. On train home it was becoming apparent there was no taxis. When I was talking about this my friend completely brushed it off and said .. X cant take you home but you will be fine, you will get home. It was after 1am and it was looking like I was going to have to walk the 30 minutes walk home as I was struggeling to get a taxi. I also was abit scared of hanging about a dark train station on my own waiting for taxi to arrive. My family members do not stay close to where I live but they were a possible very last resort.

My friends parting comment was .. this guy will see you get home OK - the stranger she had been flirting with.

It worked out in the end as I luckily managed to get a taxi who was there waiting on me when I got off the train.

AIBU that you just dont do that. I would never arrange a lift for my friends leaving 1 out and leave that 1 to find her own way home at 1.30am. None of my family members would ever leave a friend of mine to make her own way home either at that time in the morning.

I am actually so pissed off that I got left on my own and not only that but she had already arranged their lift home and didn't even bother to tell me, it was the other girl who told me half way through the event. Makes me think I can't go out with her again.

Why does friend get off at your stop and get a taxi all the way back to her own house, especially if she has family willing to pick her up from her own station?

Surely it makes more sense for you to get off at her stop, which you reach first, and get a taxi to your house.

Sorry, crossed with your latest post op.

Nice friends can make daft choices after a drink.

I still think it would have been safer for you to get off with her and find a taxi from there but glad you got home ok.

I assume & hope that she's an ex-friend now.

All the friends in my friendship group and myself would just never do this to each other. It wouldn't occur to us to leave someone travelling at that time on their own,especially in the dark at 1am, it wouldn't matter what time we got home, we'd want to know that everyone was safe. I've got one friend who's a Met police officer who thinks she's invincible and would happily wander off home on her own but again, wouldn't do the same to me.

I have got off at her stop before and I have got in a taxi with her so we BOTH got home safely. Costing me more money!

But you still haven't said why you didn't get off at her station this time and get a taxi - or is that also a dark deserted station with no taxis? Honestly, it still seems a crap plan to go to a deserted, dark station with no taxis, whether it's three or one of you.

@justfiveminutes I did suggest this but she didn't want to make the person who was picking her up wait on me whilst taxi arrived and there was no bookable taxis available, we really are only a 10 minute journey apart, 5 mins on the train. So either way I was either left standing at her stop alone where it would of been worse to walk home from or my stop alone where it was possible, but scary, to walk home alone.

@Pinkdelight3 I actually have said why, twice now.

You said that your friend didn't want to wait with you, but just now is the first time you've said there were no taxis there either. Regardless, it's a crap plan and you need to pre-book a taxi or stay over at hers/hotel if you're doing this again. Pissed-up people are not reliable and you need to look out for yourself.

I would be really pissed off. More to the point she tried to get some guy to help you home! Definitely just think of yourself next time and how your getting home. X

It did make sense for them to get off the train in order to get home more easily themselves, and if the plan had been for all three of you to get a taxi then you should have prepared a taxi pick up in advance!
However, she handled it badly and seemingly quite careless. To add, I think it's unforgivable that she pointed out to a complete stranger (the man on the train) that you would be left at the station alone. If he'd had sinister intentions she was basically pushing you into his path.

@Trying20

Within my friendship group you WOULD be considered needy. You’re perhaps not a needy friend in your own friendship group, because people tend to group together with people who think similarly to them. Perhaps in your friendship group I would be considered cold and heartless? So be it.

So in your friendship agree, you decide with one friend to change the plan to get home, and wouldn’t tell the other friend the plan has changed?

What a horrible friendship group. More of a convenience group than a friendship group.

That is appalling behaviour.

It was sensible for them to get off the train at the right stop but this should have been factored into the evening's plans well in advance so you knew and could make suitable arrangements.

I would not have answered her text!

@Trying20 luckily OP has higher expectations than you.

Ok ok, lesson learned - look after myself.

Some people agree, some don't.

I'm most definitely not needy, I am just not selfish nor self centred and wouldn't dream of leaving a friend stranded at 1.30am in the morning. I would help them to find a way home, even if that meant me paying a whole £5 extra so they aren't left with the possibility of walking through a quiet town at night by themselves. (It's all wooded where I walk)

@Trying20 sonin your friendship group yous all gonna a night out. Yous arrange to shar

Posted to soon

@Trying20 you all go on night out and arrange to share a taxi home. 1 of yous arrange a lift for all but 1 person. That 1 person can't get a taxi. She is facing the possibility of a 30 min walk home at 1.30am down dark wooded area. She then complains to you, for example, the next day. You text her telling not to be so needy! You wouldn't be my friend after that.

Lucky in the sense that she now has the measure of her so called friend.

You missed the part where her so called friend didn’t even tell her about the change of plan. What a coward.

You’re not answering what actually happened.

@Trying20 your are missing the point. I have had lots of nights out that have ended in the way you described. However, this wasn't one of those nights. We weren't at a pub or nightclub with loads of people around waiting in taxi ques. We were on a train home back to small towns where there was no taxis available and it was a case of .. oh well, we have ourselves sorted out and haven't gave you a thought and even though you have told us you have no way home as of yet, fuck ya, I'm not paying a taxi when I don't have to, even if it does mean you walking back 30 mins yourself in a quiet part of town.

I wouldn't even do this to a woman who I didn't like, never mind a friend. Imagine calling someone needy because she's worried about walking home for half an hour in a quiet area at 1.30am. I'm sure some of you just disagree for the sake of it sometimes.

If you saw in the news a woman had been attacked/killed and the friends said they changed plans together last minute and couldn't be bothered to wait for a taxi with her before they got their lift home so sent her off on her own, you wouldn't be saying oh I don't blame them, nothing worse than a needy friend...

Glad I've got good friends.

Grow up. Healthy independent adults are fully responsible for themselves.

Sarah Everest's was a healthy independent adult.