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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have you sent your August-born to school at 4 and later regretted it?

187 replies

Sandrine1982 · 29/08/2022 09:43

Hi

I know this has been discussed many times before but I'd like to hear from parents who have not deferred the school start for their kids.
I know some parents with August-born children and they all want to defer their children so they start reception at 5.
But I want to hear the other perspective.

Our DD is just 3 but the registration period will start soon and I really don't know what we should do. She was born 25 August but her due date was actually 1 September. She was born a bit early as I had to be induced.

She seems very bright and is an extremely active, lively, friendly and sociable child. She has been at nursery full time since she was 1 year old.
Her speech is developping fine and physically she's also developping great - she's quite tall and athletic for her age.

The only thing I'm worried about is emotional maturity and just general readiness for school. I'm not really worried about reception but her schooling later on, and the impact of school on her confidence levels if "it doesn't work out".

Can people offer their experiences if they haven't deferred and it all turned out ok?
And if we do send her to school and she's really struggling later on, can she repeat a year or something like that?
I'm not familiar with the UK system as I wasn't born here..

Thanks in advance.
xx

OP posts:
Openrelationship · 29/08/2022 09:47

I have an august 31st baby and didn’t defer! He seemed young at first and you could tell emotional maturity differences with him and the autumn born kids through reception but by middle of year 1 it became a level playing field.
I don’t regret it but I was never a competitive parent wanting the kid who read first, was top of the class etc. Someone’s got to be the youngest and in the scheme of things I don’t think it matters too much as long as your child is happy and confident.

storminabuttercup · 29/08/2022 09:50

I have a late august child. He's now in high school, I didn't defer, I didn't even know I could. He had been in nursery since 10 months. Yes he was 'behind' his peers academically for a while but supported well by his teachers and TAs. Now he's in high school he's achieving the standards for his year group. No issues or regrets from me

YorkiePud25 · 29/08/2022 09:51

I have an August and July baby so youngest in their years. They both started school at 4 and have thrived. I know it doesn't suit all kids but August baby is super sociable and loves learning. July baby a bit more reserved but has still thrived and loves school

WishDragon · 29/08/2022 09:52

I didn’t defer my August born and don’t regret it.

Reception is quite play based, the real sitting down starts in year 1. In his class there are a group of August borns so that was nice too. He hasn’t struggled academically, he’s bright and is meeting or exceeding expectations with everything. He excels way beyond his age with reading and has some lovely friends.

Doing his school visits at 3 was a bit strange!

Original poster
Sandrine1982 · 29/08/2022 09:55

Thank you so much @Openrelationship ! I'm not a competitive parent either - I just want DD to be happy. The only problem is that she might be competitive .. and if she seems she can't do what the others can, if she's mocked or if she never gets the results she wants, I'm concerned it will have an impact on her confidence, well-being, and mental health later on, especially at the end of primary and in secondary school.

But maybe I'm overthinking it ... if we deferred and she was the oldest, she might end up being bored and not stimulated enough. That's what happened in the baby room at nursery LOL, they had to move her to the big kids room early. To this day she likes playing with older kids ... she's never really had any patience with babies (just like me LOL)...

Thanks for your input ! :)

OP posts:
WeeMadArthur1 · 29/08/2022 09:57

My August born daughter was also due in Sept but came early. I did feel as though she was behind a bit emotionally when she started (very clingy, often had to be peeled off me in the playground). She had been going to nursery a couple of days a week so was used to leaving me, but I think found school more tiring. But after the first year she was fine.

She's 16 now, picked up her GCSE results on her birthday and got all 8s and 9s so being August born didn't hurt academically!

Jenla1 · 29/08/2022 09:58

My son is late August birthday and I did really regret not deferring him for a long time. He would fall asleep in reception, took a long time to learn to read and for most of primary was working a year behind. Then he seemed to mature and catch up over covid lockdown, he made significant progress both emotionally and academically and got a fantastic set of SATs results this year. He has always been confident and happy in school and is more than ready for high school in September so ultimately it had worked out but I do sometimes wonder if we did the right thing.

threestars · 29/08/2022 09:58

when DS was small, the rules were that we could defer sending him to school, but it would mean he would start school in Year 1. I didn’t want him to miss out on getting to know his classmates so he started in September, albeit half days for the first term. I believe it’s only in independent schools where you can defer a year and then start in Reception? Things may have changed since DS that age though (18 now!)

welshpolarbear · 29/08/2022 10:01

I have a late July child (now 10) and I still regret not keeping him home an extra year.

Emotionally he was ready but he has always felt behind academically and I think a year extra would have made all the difference.

10 years ago deferring was just becoming more "allowed" Liverpool Council had said any summer horns could defer no question etc.

But where I was the head of primary and pre school leader made it feel like it would be the wrong choice.

I wish I'd gone with my gut.

BrutusMcDogface · 29/08/2022 10:02

In my county it is widely accepted to defer the start of year r until the term after they turn 5, and I thought about doing it for my little one who is starting next week having just turned 4. I’m still not sure if it’s the right decision or not but we’ll see.

Mumteedum · 29/08/2022 10:03

DS is very end July born. He has been fine academically. First term in reception, I was still picking him up in the pushchair and he wasn't quite able to toilet properly. It was all fine. School were great. I would say he is emotionally behind his peers even now he's about to start high school.

BUT iirc, deferral doesn't mean that you'd drop down a year. It just means you start late. So essentially your child misses out on reception. I think that's a worse option.

Mumteedum · 29/08/2022 10:04

But just to add, DS has ASD so that is a factor too.

Haggisfish3 · 29/08/2022 10:04

We sent dd who has July birthday. She’s been fine. Tiny, yes, but hasn’t suffered any ill effects. She’s always been bright, though, so I wasn’t concerned about her academic progress being affected.

whenindoubtgotothelibrary · 29/08/2022 10:04

No; he started school a week after his 4th birthday, but was more than ready for school having been to nursery since he was 6 months old, as I worked full time. He thrived at school and is now at Cambridge. Interestingly he recently had birthday drinks with several of his college friends also celebrating their birthdays this week, so from that purely anecdotal evidence I'd say being a late August baby doesn't hold you back academically.

Original poster
Sandrine1982 · 29/08/2022 10:05

Oh no I would definitely not want her to miss reception... but I think the rules are now different? You can apply to the council and the school, and if they agree you just start reception a year later ... that's what I've been told anyway ..

OP posts:
FarmerRefuted · 29/08/2022 10:05

I have an August-born and regret not deferring. At the time they started reception the rules were that you could defer but when you did eve tally start the following September you would go straight into Year One with the cohort you should have been in had you started the previous year. I didn't want DC to miss out on the foundation year so didn't defer. The rules are different now though and you stay with the class you started with.

I think DC would have benefited more from starting a year later and even now in secondary school they are still noticeably behind their peers in terms of emotional and social maturity.

Jules912 · 29/08/2022 10:05

DS has a June birthday and was fine. DD is September born and was so bored at nursery that last year.

WishDragon · 29/08/2022 10:05

You definitely don’t want her to to miss reception year. It’s fun and settles them in.

Haggisfish3 · 29/08/2022 10:06

Deferral doesn’t mean you start I. The next year group down it just means they start a year later, so entering reception with all the others who started in reception.

Thornethorn · 29/08/2022 10:07

My daughter isn't August born but almost. We sent her she and at the beginning she was sat with a classroom assistant at the table for children who needed extra help for various reasons. It was like a little class within a class. At that stage we would have deferred if it had seemed like an option. Her talking was so behind and she was more like nursery level in what she chose to play with.

A few years on it turns out she is doing work mostly for the year above and I dread to think how bored she would be if stuck in KS1 for another year. Still the smallest and most naïve but academically she needs to be where she is. But it took a lot of extra support at the beginning.

Mangogogogo · 29/08/2022 10:08

Openrelationship · 29/08/2022 09:47

I have an august 31st baby and didn’t defer! He seemed young at first and you could tell emotional maturity differences with him and the autumn born kids through reception but by middle of year 1 it became a level playing field.
I don’t regret it but I was never a competitive parent wanting the kid who read first, was top of the class etc. Someone’s got to be the youngest and in the scheme of things I don’t think it matters too much as long as your child is happy and confident.

This is exactly how I feel and I sent two august born boys.

zingally · 29/08/2022 10:09

I've taught Reception for nearly 15 years, and can tell you that July and August borns perform less well academically for the first maybe 1.5-2 years, for maybe 60-70% of those children.

Assuming your child doesn't have additional SEN on top of being a summer born, they'll have caught up by the time they go into the juniors.

welshpolarbear · 29/08/2022 10:09

Sandrine1982 · 29/08/2022 10:05

Oh no I would definitely not want her to miss reception... but I think the rules are now different? You can apply to the council and the school, and if they agree you just start reception a year later ... that's what I've been told anyway ..

That was the kind of incorrect information I was scared with.

They would never have to miss a year. Honestly.

MakeMineALarge1 · 29/08/2022 10:09

My DS is an August birthday
I had no reservations about sending him he'd been in nursery since he was 2
He loved it, he wasn't at a disadvantage emotionally or educationally

edwinbear · 29/08/2022 10:12

DS is Aug 26th, we didn't defer. he's about to go into Y9. Absolutely no regrets at all, he'd been in nursery since 12 months which maybe helped. He was a bit behind with reading in KS1 but caught up in KS2. No issues at all with social interaction and also a talented sportsman which can sometimes be a concern with young for year children. He's been 'A' team rugby, football, cricket, swimming and athletics/cross country for as long as I can remember, despite being a bit smaller than some of his Sept/Oct/Nov born peers.

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