Have you sent your August-born to school at 4 and later regretted it?

[Sandrine1982]

Hi

I know this has been discussed many times before but I'd like to hear from parents who have not deferred the school start for their kids.
I know some parents with August-born children and they all want to defer their children so they start reception at 5.
But I want to hear the other perspective.

Our DD is just 3 but the registration period will start soon and I really don't know what we should do. She was born 25 August but her due date was actually 1 September. She was born a bit early as I had to be induced.

She seems very bright and is an extremely active, lively, friendly and sociable child. She has been at nursery full time since she was 1 year old.
Her speech is developping fine and physically she's also developping great - she's quite tall and athletic for her age.

The only thing I'm worried about is emotional maturity and just general readiness for school. I'm not really worried about reception but her schooling later on, and the impact of school on her confidence levels if "it doesn't work out".

Can people offer their experiences if they haven't deferred and it all turned out ok?
And if we do send her to school and she's really struggling later on, can she repeat a year or something like that?
I'm not familiar with the UK system as I wasn't born here..

Thanks in advance.
xx

I remember finding feedback from nursery helpful in reassuring me that not deferring was the right decision for DD.

DDs due date was Aug 26th and she was a month premature at end july. Didnt defer and no regrets.

Late July born 8 weeks prem boy - struggled for a while started to get on a level playing field by yr 4.
Now a teen and wants to be as buff as his friend who was literallly born Sept 4th - have given up telling him nature does not work in school years.

have regretted and not regretted at various times

Typically, they start school the year they turn 5 (even if they only turn 5 late in the summer holidays).

It is not compulsory to send them until the term after their 5th birthday. Unless you arrange to defer though, I think they go into year 1 not reception, so they have the double whammy of being the youngest and having missed a year of being in school.

I have a mid August son who is now at secondary school and it didn't occur to me to defer. He did very well in infants but it probably helped that he wasn't my eldest. I would say he is a little immature at secondary, has friends but gets too many detentions. My other DC are summer born.

The point is that it is that the LA is being selective though and not providing the full information about rights and responsibilities.

I had a vv late July DD and sent her after she just turned four...best decision ever. Another year in nursery wouldn't have worked..she was ready for school. She did seem young but by Xmas definitely grown up

DS is now 21. When he was small the education authority had an Easter intake As well as the usual September. They stopped this double intake quite a few years ago.

We sent DS at just 4 in to the Easter intake, he was totally ready and it was fine. I know MN seems to really get really worked up about late summer borns. Both DH and I are late summer borns and did really well at school.

This, this is what put me off deferring DC1

Isn't the point here that schools are based on a yearly system. There will always be the possibility of a years gap between oldest and youngest.
In some ways defering makes the overall problem worse. If all August born babies were defered then the problem just transfers to July born babies since these now will be the youngest in their cohort. If only some August born children are defered then there could be a 13 month gap between youngest and oldest in the class, potentially making it even worse for the youngest.

One of my best friends was a July birthday; so was exDP.

DP struggled academically at first but ended up doing v well and going to Oxbridge. My friend was also v well-adjusted socially and academically and got four A's at A level.

Except those July borns have the advantage of being 4 and 1 month starting school instead of just 4 (it’s still not great for them…we start children in formal education way too young in England). So developmentally they’re that but further along and things will come more easily. Of course someone has to be the youngest, but if the youngest is say 4y3m vs 4y exactly, they’re likely to have an easier time of it.

My DD is 31st. We didn't defer and have never had an issue.

Oh she's just about to start secondary (grammar)

And yes, she did get 11+ weighting, but I think it is fair considering some of her classmates are just about a full year older than her. And she scored high enough she would've passed anyway.

Mid-August born DS for us and we didn’t consider deferring for a second.

He has done brilliantly at school and we have no regrets. It was a bit of a shock when he started after just turning 4 and then in the first week another child was having a 5th birthday party. A bit worrying to think how he would compare to a child so ,much older, but it was never an issue.

The only difference we noticed was around emotional resilience. DS was quicker to get tearful in challenging situations. But good teachers and TAs can help with this and grow confidence - along with support at home.

My top tip would be never to mention to DD that she is the youngest in the class or the year. She just doesn’t need to know and it’s best to avoid it becoming a distraction or ‘reason’ for any issues in her mind. Good luck!

My middle child was born end of July - it's tricky as she's now going in year 2 and has only just caught up and actually ahead of a quite a few peers. Not sure if this is down to a few things though. Obviously covid had a major impact, during a time when she would have been in reception/year 1 - learning to read etc. That and also she has severely bad vision in one eye, so for nursery, reception and half of year one was wearing patches. - we decided to stop the patching in jan as it wasn't working anyway and was effecting her confidence and ability to write or read etc - since we did that, and backed up by teacher, she completely changed - brilliant concentration so much more confident- her end of year phonics results were brilliant ( in the past she's been below) it's like for the last 6 months a light switch was flipped and it all just started to fit. So I'm not sure whether it's the young age thing or if it's the eye sight. I'm more inclined to think eye sight tbh. I did earlier on definitely notice a major difference with her and some of the older kids in her year that were born in sept/oct - just generally bigger and I noticed were in higher groups for reading etc. But like I've said it's evened out now. I don't think I would have deferred - she has a sister in the year above and was desperate to be in school and I think for nursery and reception especially it's more about foundations rather than really difficult work - (and with covid she wasn't even in much anyway ) but it was definitely the best for her imo - I think you know your child best and what would be the most Beneficial for them - for us not deferring was the best option and she's happy - I also think she probably would have been this way regardless when we started her as it was more likely the vision so it's just got it out of the way. She's never been the clingy type tbh runs off even now every morning happy -in contrast her sister who is an early November baby was really clingy would cry most mornings even in reception and even now some mornings will be more loveing and not want to leave. So I think predominately it's dependant on the child - for sure.

we start children in formal education way too young in England

Based on what?
I can say with certainty that if we didn't start when we do then we'd end up with some children with significant issues. For some children, the first time they've been in a stimulating environment is when they start school. I've lost count of the number of children, without SEN, who are struggling with communication because they don't get talked to at home or who can't use a toilet because, in the words of their parents, "Why would we teach them to go to the toilet? You're the teacher. It's your job."

You can't compare our school start to the likes of Finland without also comparing our societies, attitudes towards education, the support, education and training for parents and the expectations of parenting before the child starts school.

I have two summer born boys. Both started at just turned four - and one it was absolutely right for, the other not so much. The one who thrived was academically ready but socially behind, and the one who has had more difficulty was socially ready but academically not, if that helps at all. Covid has muddied the waters a little, so it’s hard to say whether he would still have found things difficult having not had half of year R as homeschool and missed half of preschool. He’s getting there now.

interestingly, the child who did well was at the tail end of a social group of children who fitted into his year group, the other child is the eldest of a group who went through nursery etc together, so I don’t know if that played into it perhaps and goes all the way back to his early years.

So I’d probably say that I’d give most children the benefit of the doubt for mainstream entry, especially if academically ready. I’d consider holding back if there were issues with things like pen grip, fine motor, speech, any indicator that they are not ready to write.

You will note I said FORMAL education.

Totally agree play- based provision is really important and appropriate from 3 or 4.

But we then expect them to pick up a pencil at just turned 4 and start forming letters accurately, and reading fluently etc etc. And the reality is that for many of these children it just doesn’t click until somewhere around Easter of Y1, so their first experience of school is that it’s all really hard - because they just aren’t there developmentally yet. And summer borns find it hardest of all (as a general rule).

It’s the content of the curriculum I’m referring to, rather than education of any kind.

That's not my experience at all, in any of the schools I've taught in ranging from naice village schools to those in areas of the highest deprivation. The children that we've had coming through our Receptions have loved the challenge and stimulation. They come up to older year groups, proudly showing off their letters and what they have written and created. The moment you step into their classroom, they mob you and are eager to show you everything that they've done and can do. It clicks well before Y1.

8 Aug daughter and didn't defer, she's going into year 2 in September and is doing really well, loves school and it's definitely helped her focus and be less distracted

I haven’t had as much experience as you, but also had quite a different experience. I used to be a PSA in a very well to do catchment with P2 (Y1 equivalent) kids. Most of them were doing fine or well but there were a handful who had already made up their minds that they were stupid/hated reading/were rubbish at maths etc because they were simply kids that needed a bit more time before starting formal education. It’s so sad to hear a 6 year old child tell you that ‘books are boring’ because they can’t blend phonics, but in many other countries that same age child wouldn’t be expected to be learning to read yet. Or just setting off on it.

That was before I had kids of my own and was the first time I really started to question our education system!

Totally agree with this.

I started reception in the UK and HATED it - cried before school and begged not to go. I was the youngest, having just turned 4, and there was zero patience or tolerance - things like toilet accidents meant we were shouted at or made fun of by the teachers; we were constantly shouted at to 'hurry up!' or 'look what you've done,' and sit at desks without talking, and it was just a horrible and stressful experience.

Then I moved to the US and it was just completely different. Proper school starts a year later so there was much more acceptance and understanding of us being kids.

In Scotland the youngest are 4 years and 6 months when they go to school (cut off end Feb) but lots of Jan and Feb born kids defer. So the age bands are wider but there's more flexibility to differentiate within the year group - from reading chapter books to basic phonics...