Have you sent your August-born to school at 4 and later regretted it?

[Sandrine1982]

Hi

I know this has been discussed many times before but I'd like to hear from parents who have not deferred the school start for their kids.
I know some parents with August-born children and they all want to defer their children so they start reception at 5.
But I want to hear the other perspective.

Our DD is just 3 but the registration period will start soon and I really don't know what we should do. She was born 25 August but her due date was actually 1 September. She was born a bit early as I had to be induced.

She seems very bright and is an extremely active, lively, friendly and sociable child. She has been at nursery full time since she was 1 year old.
Her speech is developping fine and physically she's also developping great - she's quite tall and athletic for her age.

The only thing I'm worried about is emotional maturity and just general readiness for school. I'm not really worried about reception but her schooling later on, and the impact of school on her confidence levels if "it doesn't work out".

Can people offer their experiences if they haven't deferred and it all turned out ok?
And if we do send her to school and she's really struggling later on, can she repeat a year or something like that?
I'm not familiar with the UK system as I wasn't born here..

Thanks in advance.
xx

Another one with an August-born son.

There wasn't really a standard option to defer when he was starting school - or at least not one we knew about. He did have some physical difficulties with writing and could not hold a pencil properly until at least christmas - i remember feeling very worried by that!

He's always been very sociable and had no problem making friends. Nodded off a few times in the afternoons at school - but i think they were prepared for that and had a 'quiet corner' where the children could take a break.

By y2, any differences had ironed themselves out. He's about to go into y9 now, taller than most of his peers, doing really well and getting involved in anything and everything. No regrets.

It depends on your child. My ds is also August born but he is extremely mature as often noted by his teachers. He is very academic as well so it would have disadvantaged him if we deferred.

Very bright kids find year 6 boring

Based on what? I teach at one of the highest performing primaries in England and have taught some exceptionally academic children. I can assure you, they didn't find Year Six boring at all.

However the point about SEN is a valid one. We recently had a parent defer her August born boy because she was still going through the process of diagnosis for him and wanted to secure an EHCP before he started primary. Absolutely the right decision for him.

My daughter is expecting twins which are due 22nd September.

She's been having a few signs of labour this weekend, so she's taken to bed. She is hoping to get to 1st of September. The consultant asked her if she had any thoughts about the academic year when they discussed induction. Her induction is this Thursday.

I have had two Summer born and one January born go to school. It was a similar outcome and liked it :) The eldest is 13 now and she is doing very well at school despite being one of the young ones. I don’t think it is as important as it feels when you have your first little one about to go to school! Parenthood is a minefield of these decisions where you worry and want the best for your child - and wish you had a crystal ball!!

My sister is August born and went through school ok/well academically, although she did have some social issues (hard to say if these were the result of being younger though).

She took a gap year after school though as it was very evident that at just turned 18, she wouldn't manage university just yet. I am September born and so there would have been a 23 month gap between us if we'd both gone to university "at the same age"!

My SS was born in August and started school at 4, he ended up repeating a year in primary school because he was far too young and immature. Having said that my friends daughter was born in July and started when she was 4 and she was fine.

I had April and May babies and started both a year later when they were 5 as i didn't think it would do them any harm to keep them in Nursery an extra year

My DD2 is an early august baby. She is now 19. If I'd had the option at the time to defer starting school without missing reception I would definitely have done it. Although she was ready academically and has excelled in gcse, A level and first year uni, she has struggled emotionally and socially and with her mental health notably from secondary school onwards. She was diagnosed ASD at 16 and is now only just finding her feet in the world. We constantly worry about her.

I have 2 July born DDs. DD1 definitely struggled emotionally in the early years but it all came good in the end with 4xAstar ar A Level and a top uni place.

DD2 struggled more generally I would say and I have always wished I had the opportunity to keep her back (it wasn't possible at the time). She did well at school though but not as well as DD1.

Of course there are many factors at play, not just birth date. Poor DD2 was rather outshone by DD1 so that must have impacted her confidence.

I didn't defer and wish I had. He's doing ok but I'm often told he's 'behind' his peers. Of course he is, he's a year younger! Born late august.
He has struggled with being overtired and just too much info overload. He's finally settled now going into year 3 but all his peers are going to be 8 soon and he's literally just turned 7.
If I did it again I would one hundred percent defer but you have to inform the LA as soon as possible so he doesn't miss his reception year.

DS is a mid August baby.

I didn't defer. He has dyslexia also which has caused the biggest issue.

In Wales you start at 3. So he turned 3 and was in school like 3 weeks later. It was obvious in nursery, reception and year 1 he was basically a year behind the others, but by year 2 and 3 he has been ok.

Going in to year 4 now and socially he's fine, academically still a bit behind. Not much that can be done about it. Teachers are aware of the "summer Born's" in the class and do tailor things a bit to them.

Wales bring a brand new curriculum in this year, and having read it, I think it will actually benefit him a lot, and the fact he's a summer born won't really matter.

But I'd say in a nutshell wasn't ideal but we got through it and the school have been great with all the summer born children which has eased the issue.

So much depends on the child I think. My August-born is bright and loves learning. She’s also tall for her age and her teacher has commented on her maturity. She’d been at nursery since 1 so I knew how she coped in a more structured environment with other children. Having said that, the first term especially was tough, but tbf it was 2020 so tough on all kids I think. She’s now doing well academically and socially despite being second youngest in her class.

My middle DC turns 4 in October and actually I think she’ll benefit from the additional time in nursery as she’s much less confident than her sister was at the same age.

Did not defer DS. I sometimes think it would have been better for him academically but he's just done A levels and did very well - he was also extremely tall all the way through and is sporting so judging by the comments I overheard it would have been very difficult from that perspective as no one believed he was the age he was anyway.

I've got mixed feeling about it because Feb born DS 2 has some SLD and if his whole class were either deferred or "old for the year" and all four to six months older if would make life much more difficult for him as he struggles to keep up as it is!

I have a mid August born girl who started reception then moved to Scotland meaning she had to go into P1 which is mostly like reception but they move faster...

She's athletic (but narrow build), wasn't the smallest in her reception class, is one of the tallest in her mixed P1/2 class - so kids up to 18 months older.

Because of the foundations in reception she's been consistently working with the kids in the year above, friends come from both years.

On reflection I'm glad we didn't defer her in the English system - her personality would not suit being the oldest as she's pretty bossy and girls are generally more mature.

My opinion would be different for a shy, slight boy born the same dates - but a confident girl is probably better off not deferring given that girls generally mature quicker than boys!

It’s only in reception where the difference is noticed, by year 1&2, you can’t even tell who’s was born when. Don’t defer

All my 3 are summer born, the first two have really struggled with little support initially and even now with more support they still struggle. My eldest thinks she is stupid. My third child i used the summer born legislation to send him to reception a year late, he's so much more ready to learn and loves school, although he still struggles he's not at the bottom of the class which is where he would have been if I'd sent him on time. I wish i had sent my eldest two a year later, they'd have some self esteem left. Also reception (playbased learning) isn't the problem for summer borns it's when they get to year 1!

Absolute rubbish! There is plenty of readily available information that totally disproves this!

That's not true at all. Totally depends on the child, falling behind socially or education wise can set the child back for the coming years as well which is what happened to my SS

As others have said, the really important thing is to check policies in your local authority for deferral- as it does vary. In some places they may still go straight into Y1, which would not be ideal. You do also need to check the transition arrangements, as secondary schools are not required to accept children being in a lower year group than their chronological age (as this can affect funding at various stages)- it can also affect funding post 16, because students between 16-19 get funding for one repeat year, but this doesn't apply for the year when the child hits 20.

Deferring to go into a lower year group is a relatively new phenomenon, so secondary schools/colleges may not have a lot of experience with it.

I believe in some LAs it can be agreed that the child will stay in their new year group all the way through- but it's important to get this in writing, and it may not apply if you move to a different LA.

I do think in reception etc, it is very likely you'd get a benefit from deferring but I'm not sure this would outweigh the problems you'd get later on if your child was forced to skip a year.

I am correct. I just checked. It seems it is different in different authorities. "Summer Born Children

Children with a date of birth in the summer term wishing to start school in the September after their fifth birthday would start in Year 1 and consequently miss the entire reception year."

So hasn't changed here in a decade. Despite some issues, I'm glad I didn't defer with skipping reception being the option.
🤷

I'm also August born and can't say it made any difference academically. Was slightly annoying in upper high school/ sixth form when I couldn't do things like driving and drinking ( not at the same time!) when most my friends could.

Dd is mid July. She was born 04 and joined reception before it became easier to defer. Academically she was fine, but emotionally/socially she would have been much better deferring.

So much rubbish being written here. Please just do your own research. I hate it when people just spout rubbish as fact on here!

Thanks everyone.

yes DD seems very bright but it's hard to tell whether she will be ready academically. Also hard to tell how bright she is, from just general observation, compared to her peers. I can't really tell where she "should" be, if that makes sense. Some kids her age are speaking much better (but she's raised as a bilingual so that is probably having an impact), others can sit still at the table and have a meal for much longer. I know that everyone is different, but sometimes I can't help comparing. She's reliably toilet trained though.

The only other problem is concentration. She has been so active since she was born, that for a long time I have thought she's ADHD. However DP gets upset when I mention this to him and tells me she's just a typical toddler. He's most probably right.

Someone has asked what we would do if we deferred? She's do another year at nursery. Thinking about that scenario, I can't help but feel that it would be so boring for her...
(and financially really hard for us too)...

My late August DS had no problems starting school at just 4. He loved school, was confident, academically fine and emotionally able , although he did fall asleep at 4pm most days during the first term.

The differences started to show really between yrs 6-8, for a time he seemed emotionally immature compared to the older children and his confidence wavered a bit.

He turned 21 last week, he's just graduated with a first class honours degree, has landed himself a full time job, as well as a highly prestigious (in his field) part time job. He is confident, pro active, sociable and focussed.

I don't think that, for most children, starting young is a problem as long as you acknowledge that at some points the age difference might be more apparent, either academically, emotionally or both.