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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13 year old son will not come for day out

107 replies

tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:48

I paid for tickets for our whole family to go to Chessington as a treat for my two children (I cannot get a refund). My son REFUSES point blank to go - what can I do?? I can't physically force him into the car and I do not want to be miles out of Norfolk leaving him to his own devices! :-(

OP posts:
Sunflowergin · 28/08/2022 16:49

Is there anyone that can come and sit in with him?

why doesn’t he want to go?

HeddaGarbled · 28/08/2022 16:50

Bribery?

Skiphopbump · 28/08/2022 16:50

Bribe him

Ask someone to come and babysit him while you are all out in the hope he’s so mortified he agrees to go

Can he take a friend?

LIZS · 28/08/2022 16:50

Why won't he go?

bellac11 · 28/08/2022 16:51

At 13 I would expect him to be able to be left, why cant he?

Original poster
tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:51

He says he would rather stay with his mates (many of whom I don't even know)

OP posts:
Original poster
tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:52

Had considered that but it doesn't seem that good as I feel he would use it for other things

OP posts:
Grapewrath · 28/08/2022 16:53

leave hun a sandwich and snacks. Ask a nice neighbour if they’d be around in an emergency, charge his phone and leave him to it

PeekAtYou · 28/08/2022 16:53

Did you ask him before booking tickets? If so, he ibu.

Are you going overnight or just for the day?

Original poster
tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:53

He wont go because he says he would rather stay home with his friends.

OP posts:
bellac11 · 28/08/2022 16:53

tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:52

Had considered that but it doesn't seem that good as I feel he would use it for other things

Who are you replying to in this post and what do you mean?

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2022 16:55

tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:51

He says he would rather stay with his mates (many of whom I don't even know)

Tell him that isn't an option

Also, his phone is going with you. Does he want to join it?

Seainasive · 28/08/2022 16:55

I feel your pain. You need to be really clear that the alternative to going on the day out is a very boring day with no access to any technology / screens. Babysat by old neighbour or similar. That is what works for me anyway. Don’t allow him to ruin the day for you all.

Original poster
tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:55

He has been hanging out with a new group of friends, taking phone calls in the small hours of the morning and generally being very disrespectful. I would be concerned that if there was an emergency we would be out of the County. My mum is elderly and not capable of babysitting and I don't really have anyone else I could ask.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 28/08/2022 16:56

bellac11 · 28/08/2022 16:51

At 13 I would expect him to be able to be left, why cant he?

I wouldn't leave a 13 year old all day 'with his mates' when it wouldn't be that easy to get back if necessary

Hakeandling · 28/08/2022 16:56

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2022 16:55

Tell him that isn't an option

Also, his phone is going with you. Does he want to join it?

Show quote history

I like this option!

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2022 16:56

tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:55

He has been hanging out with a new group of friends, taking phone calls in the small hours of the morning and generally being very disrespectful. I would be concerned that if there was an emergency we would be out of the County. My mum is elderly and not capable of babysitting and I don't really have anyone else I could ask.

Why does he have a phone at night?

orangeisthenewpuce · 28/08/2022 16:57

Get babysitter for him. Remove his phone and any other electrical devices he uses before you go as a consequence.

Isaidnoalready · 28/08/2022 16:57

No it's non negotiable under those circumstances

Why is he allowed to make calls late at night?

Original poster
tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:57

Best answer so far :-)

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 28/08/2022 16:58

Just telling him he's coming with you.

LIZS · 28/08/2022 16:58

Sounds like you need to have no tech in bedrooms and withdraw wifi while you are out.

Original poster
tallulah07 · 28/08/2022 16:59

He is not allowed but we have dealt with that now by cancelled any calls to and from his phone during certain hours.

OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 28/08/2022 16:59

My 15yo son would always rather stay home but he still does as he's told without me having to physically force him out of the house. Have you no strategies at all with him? Even if it comes down to doing it for you/guilting him about upsetting you/you going batshit at him if he doesn't come along? Appreciate he could potentially spoil the day with sulking, but mine would suck it up and probably have a good time after all once it became inevitable. Surely he's done enough staying with his mates so can come along for this one day and enjoy it. I wouldn't let him off the hook at 13 or you'll never get him to play ball on anything hereafter.

wildthingsinthenight · 28/08/2022 16:59

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2022 16:55

Tell him that isn't an option

Also, his phone is going with you. Does he want to join it?

Show quote history

Yes this. Phone is going for the day 😊