To ask how the hell you sleep through newborn noises?

[Greentartanbow01]

DC is 10 days old and in our room, they’re SO noisy in their crib throughout the night, making grunting, squealing, gurgling noises. There’s no reflux that we’re aware of, they’re burped well and kept upright for 20 mins after feeds. They make all these noises but everytime I jump up and look at them, they’re asleep!

I know they say you have to have them in your room for the first 6 months but honestly, I’m going to struggle as we’re just not getting any sleep!!

I wear foam ear plugs which seem to do FA at muffling the sounds. I’m terrified of SIDS so really want to keep them in our room for 6 months but it’s getting to the point of us being on our knees through sleep exhaustion and they don’t even cry through the night and only have 3 feeds from 10pm-7am which only last about 35-40 mins so we should easily be able to get some hours in but can’t because of these noises.

Is this normal? How did other people cope if so?

I am very noise aware. I knew I'd never sleep if the baby was in the same room as me. They were in their own room from coming back home. I wake up if a mouse farts so always heard them and would wake up a few minutes before they really started squawking. As long as their room is near yours then honestly just put them in there. A rested parent is a better parent. Also, pointless two of you being awake.

Mine were both in their own rooms for 2 weeks for the same reason.

The baby would sleep i couldn’t!

Remember, the guidance is aimed at the lowest common denominator. Thank heavens this wasn't the gudance when my two were born - you feel you HAVE to comply because someone somewhere will secretly know. Likewise the whole new thing of not wean8ng until six months. I would not have survived that with DS1. He was given tiny tastes of things at three months because he was always hungry so a teeny bit of pear and avocado mushed up just helped. When mine were small, there was guidance on milk and no cows milk until one - which I stuck to but husband's cousin had a baby a few years previously who wouldn't drink milk and she was told to feed him condensed milk watered down. You can hear the shrieks of mumsnet horror. Even I thought that was quite something but that's what she was advised by the professionals. Child now a very successful adult with no health problems.

Dh and I used to do shifts. I would go to bed at about 8 and sleep til about 12.30 - 1. DS would stay in Moses basket downstairs and dh would watch TV/doze on sofa. He would bring DS up for a feed/to go in cot when he woke and I would be 'on duty' for the second part of the night.

It is hard, but it does pass. You are still on high alert if your baby is only 10 days old, it will get easier to tune the noises out. Congratulations 🎉

Also, if you want to put the baby in their own room that's your decision to make. It was too much effort for me to get up and walk in the night, as ds2 was up every couple of hours but if your baby is sleeping for a good stretch it might be worth it....

The SIDS link is because baby regulates their breathing to yours. It's nothing to do with hearing each other. That's why using a monitor in another room isn't an alternative befire six months.

I kicked mine out into their own rooms after about a week as I couldn’t stand it either.

IRL I don’t know anyone that has followed all the safe sleep guidance. They’ve either had a good sleeper but were disturbing each other so baby went into their own room early, or the total opposite where they had to cosleep or else no one would get any rest! Obviously that’s totally anecdotal but I do think this idea of a blissful baby sleeping silently in their bedside crib is somewhat of a unicorn!

Oh god I remember this with my eldest (14 months) it was horrendous. I got an owlet monitor and then when my brain knew I’d be alerted to anything awry via the monitor I started sleeping through it all. It was like my brain has permission to switch off.

Now I have a newborn (16 days) and I’m so dog tired I sleep through all noises and no energy to use a monitor either!

It will get better OP, I’ve learned that everything that happens with them in the first year is temporary.

As other PP has said the SIDS thing is the baby regulating their breathing to yours. You are not meant to be “listening” as such, just sleeping also. Shifts is a good idea. My DH stayed downstairs with her whilst I went to bed. Then brought her up about 11-12. And earplugs, the GP recommended it and I’m glad she did.

Same here. I lasted 1 night with DS1 and then he went into his nursery, which is opposite our room and we could see him from our bed with the doors open.

This was 17 years ago though and at that time was not against official advice. It most likely saved my sanity as we all slept well, bar the obvious night feeds etc

Get silicon ear plugs from Boots for £5. The foam ones are crap and you will hear baby when they need you.

And that's why I put baby in his own room from day 1 . Save your sanity

There's no pressure on you to be a martyr but I do think you had awful expectations about parenthood, you do know you might not get a good nights sleep for about 18 years don't you??

My grandson came to live with me when he was 9 months old, he's nearly 4 and I've still not had an undisturbed nights sleep

My daughter is 24 she's not lived with me for 4 years I still don't sleep through worrying about her

Welcome to parenthood

A new mum with sleep deprivation does not need to hear this! Of course most people get a good night's sleep much much sooner than when child is 18! Apart from the fact that when they're a bit older you can leave them overnight with family/friends and go and stay in a hotel if you want!
OP - try and get additional help and breaks during the daytimes. Overnight try and alternate room sharing with baby with your partner.

Honestly I struggled. First child was pretty quiet and slept though from about 4 months.

Second child was a noisy nightmare and I lost the will to live by 5 months. My husband and I were sleeping separately anyway so said child got installed with him on weekdays and I did weekends.

Almost 5 years on and he's an absolute fidget if he's in my bed and doesn't settle. First child loves to sleep with me and we can do so happily.

I'm not a hugely light sleeper either but I would wake up at the tiniest noise from them. It must be survival instinct which is great but doesn't help when you are sleep deprived.

Can you tag team for a bit?

I couldn't have slept with my 10 day old baby in another room. I slept far better hearing the little sounds and knowing baby was okay, glancing over and seeing his little face in his crib. You'll get used to the sounds, it's just different at first.

If you have a partner could you take turns being on the side of bed next to baby? This really helped me when things got too much with dc2, I felt I could relax as dh was on night duty.

I co-slept with all of mine from birth and I don't remember them making any noises like people describe. I could hear them breathing (even from across the room) but I found that reassuring.

I have no idea if I just have unusually silent babies, or don't notice the noises, or maybe they don't do them when they are close to you?

I feel you OP. My 6week old is the exact same. He growls and screeches all night then eventually wakes himself up. The real killer is that when he falls asleep in my arms he’s silent.

My daughter was the same although her noises weren’t as loud as DS. She did eventually grow out of it.

DH manages to sleep through it ha ha ha (typical)

@BertieBotts my babies slept in a chicco next to me so right beside me. One made noise and the other silent! It was the silent one that kept me up more as i kept checking he was still breathing! Even now as a toddler he sleeps so still I have to watch for his chest rising! I think they're just all different.

I cosleep too and notice that with DD2 who is 10wo that she will start to stir and then if she realises I'm there beside her instantly stop and go back to being silent and still, whereas if I have got up to do something she will be asleep but very restless and make noises for up to 15 mins before waking. But if we are sleeping together she is very quiet!

This.
Has noone ever told you this before?

You won't sleep properly again till they are teenagers.

Even when they sleep through some young children are awake and ready for action at 5am.
Ear plugs won't cut it.

I never got used to it, I left ds with dh and I went and slept on the sofa. DS went into his own room much earlier than is now advised.

When the opportunity for a lie in comes about you can't sleep for worrying if they are alive (at 5 and 7) yet you daren't go check for fear of waking them...

"Even when they sleep through some young children are awake and ready for action at 5am.
Ear plugs won't cut it."

@Cosmos123 I have just trained my 5.5 year old to 'play quietly' and 'not wake Mummy at an ungodly time of the morning!' He will however stand over the bed and look at me and dh and whisper to us "shhh sleeping I'll come back later and then cue 30 seconds later "oh still sleeping, its daytime its light, the sun is up! Repeat" Me "yes that happens in the summer VERY early!" 🥱 You really can't win! 😂His younger sibling at least crawls into our bed at 5am and goes back to sleep albeit with his feet wedged into one of our backs 😴