To ask how the hell you sleep through newborn noises?

[Greentartanbow01]

DC is 10 days old and in our room, they’re SO noisy in their crib throughout the night, making grunting, squealing, gurgling noises. There’s no reflux that we’re aware of, they’re burped well and kept upright for 20 mins after feeds. They make all these noises but everytime I jump up and look at them, they’re asleep!

I know they say you have to have them in your room for the first 6 months but honestly, I’m going to struggle as we’re just not getting any sleep!!

I wear foam ear plugs which seem to do FA at muffling the sounds. I’m terrified of SIDS so really want to keep them in our room for 6 months but it’s getting to the point of us being on our knees through sleep exhaustion and they don’t even cry through the night and only have 3 feeds from 10pm-7am which only last about 35-40 mins so we should easily be able to get some hours in but can’t because of these noises.

Is this normal? How did other people cope if so?

Yeah this really. You are getting annoyed at people piling in to say 'this is what it is like' - but that is the honest truth for most people.

Honestly if you have people claiming they were getting 5 proper hours of uninterrupted sleep at 10 days they are either misremembering, are a particularly extreme case of good sleeper, were not on their first or are lying.

It is evolutionarily advantageous to wake easily to protect the baby, it is savagely difficult at the very start but like everyone else has said on here you do adjust. There is lots of good advice on here re sleeping set up, location, white noise - that is about the extent of the options available right now

Some posters have been quite patronising actually and telling someone they haven’t been patronised, is in itself bloody patronising 🙄

I remember being really worried about DC1 and the noise they made , I stayed awake for a night or two. Once I realised that there was nothing wrong medically I taught myself to tune out of it. You will find that you can do this , at the moment you are hyper aware but it will improve.

Try the earplugs, white noise, and move her cot a bit further from your bed.

No help, but my twins made NO noise at night. I couldn't sleep a wink, since I had heard babies are really noisy, and I kept thinking something was wrong with them!

😂 I remember those noises, was like a farmyard. Cross between a pig, donkey and goose. In hindsight they were very cute, compared to the screeches of a 9 year old ;)

Things change quickly. You're doom mongering thinking it will be like this for 6 months.

It calms down after a month or so, or did for us. Also you are on high vigilance mode after having a baby literally 10 days ago and are literally programmed to wake at every noise.

Chances are your friends are light sleepers rather than your baby is abnormal.

Yes it's bloody hard. Yes it's normal. Yes you get used to the sleep deprivation eventually. No your friends don't always tell you the truth, and everyone has a different experience. With one of my DC I didn't get 5 hours unbroken sleep until he was 3.5 years old. Wanna swap?

I sent DH and baby into the guest room.

Its normal and it lasts for months if not years.

You have to find a way around it as you are right, you need to sleep

Have a look at the SIDs web sites and see of your baby has any other risk factors, if not, you might want to consider a separate bedroom for the baby. Its a decision that every parent should take individually and is different for every baby.

Really good ear plugs

Headphones designed for sleeping that play white noise

Taking in turns with DH to sleep in a different room

Try elevating the head of baby’s cot just a touch

Try swaddling

You've had your baby for 10 days and are already fed-up with the noise and lack of sleep 😮. You've got a LONG way to go yet

I do think the beginning is the most difficult.

Most couples are used to not bring disturbed at night or being able to lie in a bit longer on the weekends and then all of a sudden their sleep is disturbed every night.

I think the first couple of days is ok and then it catches up on you but you eventually start getting more used to coping on less sleep.

Also never compare your baby to other babies or your parenting to your friends parenting.

Nothing good ever comes from it.

Oh dear, sorry to have pissed you off. let me just add I was commenting from the point of view of someone who has a baby a few months older and has personally had to get used to feeling increasingly exhausted, hence the melting emoji - I was poorly trying to express solidarity. obviously tone is hard to read and especially when you're very tired and extremely grumpy about it (which I regularly am myself). It's not misogynistic to say that it's shit and you'll probably get more tired before you get less! White noise as I said and sleeping in shifts - if your partner is off then you should be trying to sleep whenever you can, whatever gets you through. Good luck.

No one ever tell you about this do they? It’s like sleeping next to a ferret, so annoying.

I found white noise really helped muffle the sounds that weren’t an actual wake up but everyone else is right - you really do get used to it.

10 days in is rough and sleeping when the baby sleeps is mostly a myth but the nights you will adjust to.

And congrats on your new baby!

You get used to it and you get progressively more and more exhausted.

To the people suggesting an Ewan the sheep/ white noise, I would do this but surely if you’re playing white noise to drown out their noises, it kinda defeats the object of having them in the same room?

Also, re SID’s, it’s never made clear exactly what you’re meant to be listening out for? Is it them choking? I don’t think I’d be able to hear if DC stopped breathing? I’m just a bit unsure as to what I’m actually meant to be listening out for re SIDS?

You didn’t piss me off, sorry if it came across that way. X

White noise played at a really low level saved me from my little truffle pig. You don't play it loud enough to drown them out, just take the edge off the little squeaks and snorts!

Dd is now 7 and I still have to use it if she appears in my bed at night or I'm kept awake by her snoring, sighing, snorting and teeth grinding 😫

I think you have what I call 'hypervigillance'. It's where your brain tunes until every little noise and you can't get any peace.

As you get used to having a baby, this will gradually reduce - your brain will become better at filtering the noises that you need you wake for, and that you don't. It's the same as sharing a bed with a partner after a prolonged period alone - it takes a while before you are oblivious to their presence.

I find it flared up again when my children went into their own rooms, as I'd wake for any noise on the monitor, when ill, or if they've woken a few times already that night.

Yes, you are only about 100m along from starting a marathon, and you probably have years ahead of this, but starting is hard too. I think it is all good to remember that, but also you to remember that the grumpy tired people on here have been enduring sleep deprivation for many months or years. Tiredness is tiredness, and just because it may get worse, doesn't mean it's not difficult still now.

You can't listen out for SIDS really. It's more so they listen out for you.

No one really knows why room sharing reduces SIDs; it just does. It could be because parents are more alert to signs of their baby struggling; it could be because of the link with breastfeeding; it could be that it prevents babies sleeping too deeply when there are other sounds going on, the usual nighttime sounds people make. But the evidence shows that it does reduce SIDs risk quite significantly.

It doesn't last forever and you can continue shifts when your husband is back at work too. Are you breastfeeding or formula feeding?

I never got used to it but the phase didn't last as long as other phases...

This, basically. You don't get much sleep/sleep really lightly until they're a bit older.

I can't tell you how many times I googled 'grunting baby syndrome' and 'why hasn't my 8 week old stopped grunting' 😂
Try and tell your brain to tune it out.
Definitely nobody patronising you here, we've all been there!

OP, try to get some sleep in the day whilst DH is around and shifts at night would help.

I used to go to bed early whilst the DC stayed in the sitting room with DH. This meant I got to sleep ok and got 4/5 hours before they woke for a feed.

You will get used to the noises. Plus this is only a phase - it won’t be forever which it may feel like now. They change so rapidly at this age.

I completely get where you're coming from, OP. I was finding that my anxiety was through the roof with DS next to me and I would never sleep because I was 100% focused on him. For that reason, we moved him into his nursery at 10 days old. We felt that the risk of SIDS was less than the risk of me falling asleep while holding him if I was so sleep deprived, and a rested parent with less anxiety and PND was better than the alternative.

The Mumsnet police will likely crucify me for saying that, but the NHS guidance is just that: guidance. If it doesn't work for your family, do what you feel is best.

Oh god I never got used to it.

It drove me absolutely insane for 5 months before I put her in her own room (frowned upon at 5 months I know but I just couldn't do it any longer).

With my 2nd I was so tired that I slept through all of those little noises

I couldn't sleep through it. My DDs were born before the guidelines about being in the room with you for 6 months were around. They slept in their own rooms from pretty much day 1. I heard them when they were grizzling enough to want fed but not the grunts and snuffles when they were asleep.